Spot-on characterization of Luna! Perfect! Half the time she's either too dreamy or not dreamy enough or whatever. You did very well with Ginny and Ron too. Your writing is excellent, and I look forward to reading more of it.
That was a funny story. I like the part about Trevor jumping into the pinnapple juice. Did you know, Trevor the toad has got seven warts? Neville says so in the playstation game.
I think this was really well written. There was plenty of details, and everyone was in charactor, although it must have been hard to write Ron so out of charactor with the little information we have about it. I especially like the outer space room.
I think this was really well written. There was plenty of details, and everyone was in charactor, although it must have been hard to write Ron so out of charactor with the little information we have about it. I especially like the outer space room.
Some corrections: Parenthesised means take-out and boldfaced add. :)Ginny shook her head, holding her ankle protectivel(l)y
The Ravenclaw gave a heave and rolled the red-headed Gryffindor off (of) her.
she found herself standing in the middle of the road that led to Hogsmeade village proper.
Ginny caught sight of the Ravenclaw a bit further up the road, dragging along and old weather-beaten trunk behind her.
. She('d) didn't know anyone by that name, certainly not at Hogwarts.
All that aside love your characterization especially of Luna. The way she could be funny and ditzy and brutally honest. Oh and that part with Ron acting real doozy is pretty funny. I enjoyed reading this.
I thought this was brilliant! I love missing moments, and you did a great job with it. The portrayal of Ginny was good, but Luna was spot on. Really a perfect balance between her spacy-ness and her blunt honesty. We got to see the smart side of her, which has to be in there somewhere if she's a Ravenclaw. You worked it in there masterfully. She went from a serious conversation with Ginny about the DoM to the whole thing about yetis and sasquatches to the weight on Ginny's shoulders. It's perfect Luna. Really beautifully done, I hope you keep it up!
It was an iteresting story however a little hard to follow. Keep it up
