This is a great story, I hope the next part comes along soon!
well, this story is amazing *-* gotta love sirius haha
This is a great fic and I hope you haven't given up on it. You do such a good job with characterizations and you have a great story line, I would hate to see it left unfinished, so please update soon! Oh, and btw, I totally agree with all of your pet peeves in your summary. Especially the last one: Remy. Honestly, whose idea of a sick joke was that? Please update!
This is absolutely bloody brilliant. I felt like Remus and could have cried out of joy. Sirius/Padfoot is soooo cute and great described. Please continue, I like to know how and when the other two manage to transform into Animagi.
And I really like the beginning of the next chapter where Sirius licks James' foot and all the chaos of Padfoot in the dorm. Excellent, superb. Bravo!!!! Please update.
Great story! i can't wait to read the rest! ! I wish Lily and Remus would go out once she found out about the fury little problem but I guess that would not be a L/J fic! Thx again!
LOL! I can't stop laughing now! Your story is soooo funny! LOL!
This is my first review, and I feel like I've been saving it for a story like this. I simply can't contain how much I love your writing/this story!
I absolutely adore what you have done with these characters; the relationship/chemistry amongst the friends and their personalities are portrayed SO well. I am really into Marauder fiction right now, and I definitely think this is one of the best I have read thus far. I am so anxious for you to continue this! I hope it hasn't been abandoned!
First- Well no point in telling you how great this story is coming out...
Second- I have never(for real) ever even seen a story that talks even a paragraph on how the transformation (which is a very important part I might add) goes.
Third- Don't even think about quiting this, ever. I'm not asking, and although my tone seems as of a person who is demanding, I'm most certainly begging (in the best way that I can).
Thank you for reading
Sorry for the late review... This chapter really came together very well. I like the changes! I think the mood and atmosphere are very well preserved now in the beginning scenes - Bravo...
I'll tell you what I a looking forward to... Not that it is things even within the scope of you breakdowns. I am looking forward to more of James and his character development- more of the interaction between the wolf and the anamagi, and more of where you are going with Lily.
I know you haven't heard anything from me for a while (chalk it up to a crazy summer), but I am still here... just an e-mail away. Keep up the great work!
The more I read of Marauder fiction, the more I find myself fascinated by it – especially by the relationship between James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. I love what you’ve done with them – what you’re doing with them – and I feel very privileged to have watched this chapter evolve. I don’t really have all that much to say in review, I’m afraid, since I’ve already told you most of my thoughts, so this is just going to be a few random comments.
You have a real knack for witty comments, a knack which I’m quite jealous of. I love friendly banter with a passionate love, and you have some extremely memorable lines. “I'm bigger. But I'll give you meaner.” “Drinking before breakfast? Remus Lupin, you're a bad influence.” “He’s mean when he’s bald.”
It’s exceedingly difficult to find a good balance between the right amount of detail and too much; you want the reader to understand what’s going on, but at the same time you don’t want to bombard them with technicalities. This is something I’ve been struggling with a lot lately in my own writing – description is hard! I really like what you’ve done with the entire middle section; adding the banter really toned down the medical/magic jargon, and made it interesting to read. I think as a whole – if I may make sweeping generalizations – still tends to be a bit heavy on technicalities. I don’t mean technical details of spells, but sometimes the narrative gets bogged down a bit as you describe specific actions in detail. But the key to this story is the relationship between the boys, and that comes out a lot more now.
I really like that you’ve added more action from James during the healing scene – I love the way he’s protective of Sirius. Also, his vanity amuses me. And you write one of the best Peters I’ve ever read – I love his running commentary on life!
Aw, poor Remus with Lily. I have a terrible weakness for ‘two friends fall for the same girl’ stories; not the stories where they end up destroying their friendship, but when one friend suffers from silent, unrequited love… *sigh* No idea why, but it gets me, every time. And Remus trying to distract Madam Pomfrey? Absolutely hilarious.
All in all, I enjoyed the chapter even more this time than last time, and can’t wait for chapter ten.
Loving this story - will you be posting new chapters soon?
Heya, great chapter! This fic is amazing, I'm addicted! Keep up the good work, can't wait for the next chapter :)
My friend recommended your story to me so ive read it! Its fantastic! Your really good at writting and im so glad ive read it all! Cant wait for the next chapter . . .
This is an amazing story! I love how its so untypical of the other stories in this category. Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review!
I love it! Read your nine chapters in two days---please update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you! :) I'm eagerly working on the next one now.
this is my favorite chapter yet. i loved Covas's lesson, and the Marauders' interections with each other. you're an incredible writer!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
fascinating chapter. I would have thought that the wolf and the dog would become more compatible as the night wore on. Telling the story from the wolf's point of view made it all the more interesting.
I know that you probably started this story before HBP. I like how you blended canon with your original ideas, Remus' mom rejecting him after he was bitten. Being watched as a caged animal. Good details as to how harsh his life has been.
Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, it was a rough night for the two, but I have a feeling they'll become friends eventually. ;) The wolf did come to enjoy the dog's company by the end, but just in a very insane, violent, Klingon sort of way.
Interesting irony. Remus thinks that Slughorn is shallow and insincere yet he seemed to handle the situation quite well. By not taking house points from Gryffindor shows he isn't overly partial to his house. But Remus and Lily probably think that James and Sirius are getting away with it because Slughorn wants them to come to his party.
In the previous chapter you make reference to a professor Sullivan implying he might be the potions teacher. If that was the case you may want to change the name.
Author's Response: That's a very good point! Slughorn isn't showing house favoritism, which is good for him as a Head of House, but he is showing "popularity" favoritism, which isn't so good as a professor in general. And he did diffuse the situation, since both sides might take more revenge on the other if they were punished, but maybe both sides needed to be punished. It was a bad situation all around, so I'm glad you thought he handled it well! :) (And thanks for the Sullivan catch, that was indeed pre-HBP!)
Love it! I usually despise first chapters that start on the Express, but this was definatly a winner. I like the whole "next time..." thing--a story is forming.
Thank you for your pet peeve disclaimer, too. It's why I read you story. :-)
Author's Response: lol! I was hoping the disclaimer would help since I know those are some of the reasons people get frightened away. :) Thanks for reviewing!
Yay for updates!
Again, your writing is just wonderful. The flow is excellent, as is the description. The image of the “dark red line of blood” leading up to Sirius-as-a-dog was chilling, and I experienced the rest of that scene very vividly. I could clearly see in my mind’s eye Remus realizing with horror what had happened, and then lurching into action. Your chapter title is very appropriate; the morning sun illuminated what had occurred during the night.
I’m still in love with your characterizations. They’re so well-rounded and down-to-earth, unlike any other Marauder fic that I’ve read. Sirius is Sirius, stubborn and loyal and prone to blowing up. “Because I was fine,” Sirius said obstinately. “I am fine.” *snorts fondly* Just a few line after that, though, this line really true, and made me a little mushy. “Sirius was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, “I didn't want to leave you. You would have done this to yourself if I weren't there.” You do such a good job with him, showing all the aspects of his personality, but it doesn’t seem at all contrived, just very natural and casual. *shakes head* I don’t know how you do this, to be frank.
Not to mention the humor. “Drinking before breakfast? Remus Lupin, you're a bad influence.” *lol*
With James, I swear that I heard his lines in my head with Harry’s voice saying them. o.O (That’s a good thing, by the way.) He’s just great: concerned about his friends, obsessed about Quidditch…vain. Funny, too. “A few?” James said incredulously. “You look like a jigsaw puzzle!” But again, it’s all in moderation, which is a rare thing.
Peter’s role continues to be pitch perfect. He fits in with the Marauders with his humor and general good-nature. I liked how he showed his bravery by sneaking in to get Sirius the potion, but his bad side is also visible, if barely, as it should be; his nasty attitude toward Severus is a glimpse of that.
I love your Remus. I thought it was interesting, how he lost his temper at Sirius, because it shows that he feels very strongly even if he doesn’t let it show much. “Would you bloody well look at yourself?” Remus shouted, throwing his robe down in frustration. “I almost tore you apart! How could you let me do this to you?” I felt quite sorry for him right there, and later when he was forced to be practical. “He’d gotten caught up in his friends’ excitement and let them convince him that they would be safe, but in the harsh reality of morning, the truth was clear.” You know, I think this relates to how he approached his relationship with Tonks. He’s so afraid of the people that he’s close to be hurt by his lycanthropy that he pushes them away. I wonder if that will prove to be an obstacle in his relationship with Lily, besides the one that James presents.
I found one little thing to criticize:
“As they trudged back through the tunnel to Hogwarts, both moving rather more slowly than they had the day before, Remus observed Sirius’s uneven gait with a heavy mind.” “Heart makes more sense than “mind” in this instance.
Great, great work; keep it up!
Author's Response: *loves* Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I'm all sorts of flattered. :) I'm glad you like Sirius's portrayal; I have so much fun with him that I think I let him overshadow the others sometimes. And I'm really pleased that you commented on Remus's outburst in the Shack! His temper is so mild compared to his friends' that I was afraid the intensity of his anger and feelings of betrayal wouldn't come through. I felt it was an important moment, so I'm glad it stood out to you. :D And I also love that you saw Harry in James, because he's still my trickiest character to pin down. I agree with your critique, too... "heavy mind" isn't exactly right, but I want it to be a bit more logical and less emotional than "heavy heart." Well, I'll think on that. :) Thank you again!