I love the whole idea that Cedric had a prophecy that he didn't want to hear and Amos's feelings about it. Great characterization.
I liked how Macnair worked with Amos, that's a nice use of detail. And I loved the lethifold. And the oblivation. Macnair is up to something....
I'm very curious as to who A.L.P. is. Or is she just anonymous?
I have two nitpicks:You don't need quotes around the ministry letters. And 'quite nondescript' doesn't make sense because 'nondescript' means that she isn't quite anything.
Great story! Keep it up!
This is the first mystery fanfic I read, and I immensely enjoyed it. The prologue was fantastic! It drew me in to read further. I adored your portrayal of Amos. Like Dory said, the Obliviate bit was a bit confusing, but it left us to guess what had happened, and I liked that. My guess: Macnair casted it on Amos, and that's why he forgot what had happened to the letter. Right?! Anyhow, I have to say that I'm adding it to my favourites. 10/10!! - bL
I really enjoyed this. It's really nice to see a story that focuses a lot on Amos Diggory, as he is a character we don't see much of in the books. I think you've characterized him very well here. Amos had gloried in his son's glory, felt accomplished in his son's achievements, been young once more in his son's youth. I liked this line a lot. I thought it summarized Amos's character really well in one sentence. It shows that Amos had sort of lived vicariously through his son, which he does seem to do in GoF.
I loved the beginning, with the prophecy. It set up the story quite well, and the end just goes along with it so perfectly. They're like bookends or something. And the Mopsy reference was great. A nice little...shout out, if you will. The prophecy itself I thought was worded nicely. I probably wouldn't have capitalized 'immortality,' but I also tend not to capitalize creatively. Not to mention I probably wouldn't be able to write such a nice prophecy, so...point defeated.
I really liked the use of the Lethifold. It was such a perfect creature for this, I think. However, I was a little confused with the whole who obliviated whom. I figured it was Macnair who obliviated Amos, but it took some rereading for me to fully understand it. I think maybe attributing the "Obliviate" would help a lot to clarify that part of the story.
So overall, this was really good. It was a good read, and the exploration of Amos's character was great. I loved reading about him, especially since you characterized him so well. Keep up the great work!
Wow, I really enjoyed your story. You have done a great job of focusing on Amos Diggory and what he would have been going through after losing his son. This story was very touching with the way you highlight how close Amos and Cedric were while Cedric was alive. One of my favorite things about your story is the way you seem to weave certain details from Order of the Phoenix into the story so seamlessly. By including those tiny little details, you do a marvelous job of keeping this story grounded in the books themselves.
As much as I completely enjoyed reading through your story, I was also slightly confused about a few things. It never really made sense to me that Amos would've taken either letter about the prophecy in to work with him. I mean, I can perhaps understand the first letter a little because he might've taken it in on the off chance he decided to go down to hear the prophecy as a spur of the moment type thing, but that doesn't seem too likely as he was pretty vehement about not hearing it since Cedric didn't want to hear it. However, I can find no justification at all for him taking the second letter to work. One other thing that really confused me was what exactly happened with the Obliviate charm? I couldn't tell who cast it or who was hit by it. I have thought it over a few times and have come up with arguments for both sides of it: Amos hitting MacNair and MacNair hitting Amos. Either way it would fit in the story, but I wish it had been a little clearer about which it was.
Aside from my confusion, I really adored this story. Your Prologue is really fantastic and it had me roped in from the beginning. The idea of a prophecy about Cedric is very intriguing, especially when that prophecy is delivered to Sirius Black. However, the fact that the main thread through the whole thing was the bond between Amos and Cedric is really great and my absolute favorite part of the story. Their mutual love and respect is so clearly evident in your story, especially when you talk about how Amos only learned to do the Patronus Charm because Cedric talked about how useful it could be to him. You make the pang of Cedric's loss very clear, and I can't help but feel sorry for Amos. Very well done.
This was a fantastic one-shot, and really thought out and developed with a lot of skill. I think your characterization was fabulous; Amos was completely believable in all senses, and I want to congratulate you on achieving that believability.
Also, I think the idea for this --- the prophecy and all that --- was truly inspired and very unique. You had the plot and everything developed very well [ike I said earlier :) ], and your writing showed a lot of talent. That's something else I'm going to congratulate you on.
This story being my only venture into the Mystery genre, I can't really compare it with others in the same category, but I can easily say that it is one of the best pieces of writing that I have seen on this site. Congratulations once again on writing a truly talented story.
Well done! It's really good the way you filled in the rest of the prophecy. I'd never really thought about what the rest was when I read Book 5... Shame Amos never did find out what the prophecy said though, it would have been nice to see his reaction. Great fic though! :)