That was really well written. I think what you address in this fan-fiction really also applies to real life too, we must mix the good and the bad. We shouldn't ignore either the good news or the bad news, but look at both. Plus I got to your story searching "peanut butter" when I was bored! Keep up the good work!
No you got Hermione right on! In between all the horrors and her sort of secret love for Ron.. Allergies make you want to murder. Or well, cry about murder. I loved this. They both had insight and it showed growing friendship.
Both of them escaped off into their own little world for just long enough to form a friendship. Then a bell rings and they are blasted into reality but keep the friendship. I'm too tired to make an intelligent review, I'm sorry.
great job! i'd always hoped that Hermione and Luna would become better friends than they are in the books. I was also wondering (this is a minor detail, im such a pessimist!), as Padma Patil is in Ravenclaw, would she really need tutoring? I don't know, this is just me and my nit-picking ways. nice work!
My favorite line was "It takes more work to see the good in things. Searching through the filth and dirt and grime of all that is bad to find a single speck of goodness is consuming, maybe even painful." I agree with this completely. I'm a "glass is half full" kind of gal, and I think Luna would be too. Plus I agree with you on Hermione's discomfort making her so cranky and pesimistic. I think that is the perfect excuse for her OOCness. And really, Hermione can be stubborn to a fault sometimes as it is. Overall, I think this was very well written.
I was going to comment on Hermione, and even state that dripping noses can get the best of us down, but your A/N covered that. So, on to Luna. A bit more loquacious than I normally imagine her, but it works. She is the perfect foil for Hermione because no matter how open minded Hermione tries to be, Luna will always be even more accepting. I really like how Luna's optimism is the annoying bright light that forces Hermione out of her gloom. I also really like that while they've had this moment in your story, you've shown at the end that the friendship will continue. My favourite part of this story, though, is its relevance. You often seem to use HP to portray what you're seeing in the real world and I find that makes your fics even more powerful as well as accesible at the same time.
I really enjoyed this one. I though it was interesting how you emphasised Hermione and Luna's opposite personalities by their opinions, and then used that to bring them together in the end. The similies that Luna used throughout the story were also very drawing, in a unique sort of way, but the crunchy peanut butter was sort of weird... I think that you did rather well with Hermione, though in the beginning you over did it with the sneezing and stuff. And she seemed a little bit too much on the defense in the whole story....But I think that you did Luna very well. I liked the how you ended the story, with Hermione asking more about Transmogrfication. It wrapped up the story very well. Good work. 8/10
Wow. Well, honestly it doesn't surprise me how well done this was. I've always known you're quite the writer. I loved the dynamics between Hermione and Luna. I don't think Hermione was too OOC, as everyone has their moments of despair. Luna was spot on, and the banter between the two was as well. I agree with previous reviews that it was very satisfying to read a Harry Potter fiction that so closely relates to and offers insight on our own world. Lovely job : )
hey Seren! i really LOVED your story. all the talk about good & bad and the balance, really made me think. i felt that your writing style is similar to JK's and thats a GOOD thing cos it made me feel like i was really reading the real thing (: great language & vocab you have there. one of the best fan fictions i have read. i like the imagery you used here and there. AWESOME i must say! wow i am in awe after reading ur story (: keep writing more chapters. yours is definitely in my favourites. & a hermione / luna friendship is truly unique and cool to read about!
This a great story! You are an awesome writer!
Absolutely inspiring, Seren. Yet again, you have paralleled your story plot and theme with real world subjects and controversy; the thoughts of everyday people coming to life through the budding friendship of Hermione and Luna. What a beautiful web you weave with the profound musings of two ordinary Hogwarts students!
Besides a couple typos, there is nothing bad I have to say about this. Such a mature subject matter and so well done. The flawless continuity and flow of this piece leaves me with a warm tenderness in my heart. I love seeing stories where Luna and Hermione debate and/or get along, and your characterizations, I believe, were right on the mark. I can so relate to both characters, especially Hermione and her seasonal allergies. (Oh how allergies wreak havoc on my life!)
Anyway, I think I have gushed enough. Lovely work and, of course, I impatiently wait for another wonderful one-shot by you.
Inspiring! I'd like to read more of your works.
Once again, great story! I think you are an awsome writer.