MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For Secret Admirer

Name: A True Weasley (Anonymous) · Date: 03/22/05 12:05 · For: New Mysteries, Funny Surprises
great story!!i was laughin loads about the banner and the posters now my family think im really weird!!!!i feel really sorry for hermione PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!your story rocks!!!!

Name: Dumbledoress (Signed) · Date: 03/20/05 15:56 · For: New Mysteries, Funny Surprises
hmm the story is great.. don't take teh review business personal ... or taht ur story aint good.. cos ur story is great its jus lazy buggers cant be bothered to review... (i would know.. im one of them) i tried givign ur story a 20 cept it onliy goes up to 10

Author's Response: Thank you *SO* much!! We apreciate your beautiful* review...lol....Thanks again!!! Oh and about the lazy guys out there....I have to admit that I'm one...lol....this is Nickle by the way!! Bye-bye........... *I know it's a weird word to describe it. lol.

Name: lilcheergurli7 (Signed) · Date: 03/15/05 14:58 · For: New Mysteries, Funny Surprises
OMG u havent updated in forever!!! ugh! ok if u dont update soon.... its....its.... CLOTHES! lol update please?

Author's Response: We will!! I promise!! Well.....If neither one of us get grounded because we both kinda...well....have attitude probs....lol....so yeah. Bye-bye!! Keep those reviews coming!! YAY!!

Name: Greta_Prewett (Anonymous) · Date: 03/12/05 11:19 · For: The First Gifts
Hey again!! The story has been in my favs for ages, BUT you two better update soon, cause the waiting is killing me!!!PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!

Author's Response: From Nickle: Hey, I'm really sorry. It's just that Vicky is still grounded. I know.....the pain. OH!! Sorry!

Author's Response: Yay!! this is Nickle!! Guess what!!! Vicky isn't grounded anymore so we'll post the chappie in a little while!! Hold on to your pants people!! lol.....Ignore that please!! YAY!!!

Name: Madnessisme (Signed) · Date: 03/11/05 4:47 · For: New Mysteries, Funny Surprises
If that love-letter writer isnt Ron,then I'm a 6-legged mammal with overlarge tentacles.But it has to be him,the story is about him and Hermione.:)But I also want to say thatRon doesnt seem like the type to read those kind of poems...

Name: nvrndngtears13 (Signed) · Date: 03/07/05 17:05 · For: The First Gifts
k. i really, really like your story. but you kinda gave away who the secret admirer is by putting it under the Hermione/Ron catagorie

Author's Response: Well, you never know who it might be. It might be some other guy pretending to like Hermione and then she finds out and turns for Ron fro comfort, or it could be that she decides that she would rather be w/Ron that the other person......bye

Author's Response: OKis.....I'm sorry I made so many mistakes while writing that response...this is Nickle by the way. I was in a hurry, but I hope you guys got what I meant!!!

Name: Ron Weasley (Signed) · Date: 03/01/05 17:28 · For: New Mysteries, Funny Surprises
When I first read that Ron was going to ask someone out, I screamed, "Bloody hell, NO!" But then I remembered who the story was about...I liked this chapter very much. Nice showing, and no telling; lovely description. I liked the bit about Snape and Malfoy snogging--too good!

While reading I saw some punctuation mistakes, and also noticed some Brit spelling and some American spelling. For example "realising" and "realizing". You had both. Other than that, I thought it was great, and I cannot wait for the last chapter. Great job, once again.

Author's Response: Thank you *soooooo* much!! Vick and I loved your story and we were both really upset when it ended!! Please make a sequel!! Thanks for reading and reviewing!! The next chappie is the last one and Vick and I will both write it. Sadly, Vicky is grounded....and I don't know how long she will be grounded for. So, when she's done 'serving her time', then we will finish the story!! Bye-bye......Nicky

Name: Mione_Bookworm (Signed) · Date: 02/28/05 21:01 · For: New Mysteries, Funny Surprises
Oh that was so funny!! The amazing bouncing ferret, and snogging Snape&Malfoy were just incredible, I read those paragraphs over and over again!! You've got to send the next chapter!!! Or take option b: I hunt you down.

Name: PPMKatie (Signed) · Date: 02/26/05 15:45 · For: New Mysteries, Funny Surprises
Could you please hurry and open Hermione's eyes! It's getting sad how much I want these 2 together. Great chapter by the way.

Author's Response: thanks!

Name: Ronandchicken (Signed) · Date: 02/26/05 12:41 · For: New Mysteries, Funny Surprises
Ahhhh! Update soon!

Author's Response: OKis....this is Nickle....I am really sorry that the chappie wouldn't go on!! I'm gonna write the fourth chappie soon and then I'll post!! promise!!

Name: vanillasweety (Signed) · Date: 02/26/05 0:07 · For: New Mysteries, Funny Surprises
why do you torture me i need to know morewhy does it have to stop at the good parts. I know this capter can have been up long and i wouldn't want to be annoying but i cant wait a long time for another chapter

Name: Lil Witch (Signed) · Date: 02/25/05 15:18 · For: New Mysteries, Funny Surprises
Yay! I love it! I don't mean to be pushy, but I can't wait for the last chapter. You guys are the best! *10*

Author's Response: yay! lol

Author's Response: Yay!!! thank you!!

Name: Nny13HP2ZSquee (Signed) · Date: 02/21/05 0:07 · For: The First Gifts
I think this is really good. I thought that the rose and the poems and chocolate were really cute..the banner maade this secret admirer seem just a ta bit obsessed...but I still like it!

Author's Response: lol.....this is from Nick. When I first read the first chappie I thought the same thing. But now I've come to *LOVE* that banner. It's just soooooo cute!! Anyways.....thanks for reviewing!! Keep it going!!

Author's Response: UH! You said the banner was okay! Wait...who wrote that chapter? nevermind, that was you...lol

Author's Response: no!! that was you weirdo!! lol......remember, you wrote the first chapter and I wrote the second.

Name: winky36 (Signed) · Date: 02/19/05 10:27 · For: The Chapter That Takes Place After The First One
I think that both chapters were really good. I want the secret admirer to be Ron, but it might not be...so I guess I have to keep reading! Keep it up, and update soon!

Author's Response: Will do!!

Name: weasleys_king (Signed) · Date: 02/18/05 13:21 · For: The First Gifts
Great story... PLEAZ WRITE MORE!

Author's Response: THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!! YAY!! And we promise that we will keep writing more. The chappie is still in queu(?)

Name: Lil Witch (Signed) · Date: 02/17/05 20:25 · For: The Chapter That Takes Place After The First One
I love it! keep up the good work! And by the way...I've had a dream where I'm in a land of chocolates before, it was weird ^_- . Later!

Author's Response: oOo...yay! Chocolate! mmmm! lol thanks for the review! - from Vick (hermioneclone12)

Author's Response: YAY!!!!!!!!!! This is Nickle!!! YAY!! You *HAVE* had a dream w/a chocolate land thingie-me-bopper!!! YAY!!! Too much sugar today. SORRY!! YAY!!!

Name: Ron Weasley (Signed) · Date: 02/17/05 14:19 · For: The Chapter That Takes Place After The First One
John Clare is such a wonderful writer, and so are you two. Another sweet chapter, and yet another unfortunate humiliation by the Slytherins. It's nice you kept the true relationship between Ron and Hermione (the bickering). Sometimes people can either get carried away with it or ignore it all around.

I noticed quite a difference between both your chapters in grammar wise. I was wondering if you had a beta to help you out with grammar and Britishisms? Some of the differences I noticed were:
Hermione's thoughts in chapter 2, Secret Admirer and Quick Quote Quills, and the letter had quote-quotes ("") around them
I didn't spot any spelling errors, but there seemed to be a few grammar mistakes such as, "By the next morning Hermione still couldn't figure out who..." and "When she got dressed she went down to the Great Hall"--There should be a comma after "morning" and "dressed" since you're beginning the first sentence with a prepositional phrase and the second with an adjective clause.

All in all, I think this story has begun splendidly, and I cannot wait to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: lol....this is Nickle. Thank you soooo much for your help. We really appreciate it and we'll go right now and fix it. Or, I will. lol. OK....thanks again for reading our story and reviewing!!!

Name: Ron Weasley (Signed) · Date: 02/17/05 13:42 · For: The First Gifts
I love how the story beginning attracts the reader's attention by immediately adding mystery. The reader begins to think who this "shadowed figure" could be, and willingly wants to continue reading. I personally thought adding the poem by Robert Burns was so sweet, and the rose makes a girl feel just extra special. Then when I read the banner, I thought, "Whoa. Sweet, but a little overboard." You captured the whimsical feeling of Valentine's Day, and brought it in to a story between to characters very well.

With said that, I found a few spelling errors in the following sentences that just bothered me a bit:
"It couldn’t be anyone gut a Gryffindor" --I think you meant to say "but" not "gut" *lol*
"Alright, it isn’t from my mum and dad." --It's a most common error in stories, but Brits don't say "alright", but "all right"
"...is just said, ‘To Hermione Granger’"--You probably meant to say "it" not "is"
"...looked up at and laughed."--Here I think you forgot the word "her" after "at"
"Hermione lay in her bed in the girls’ dormitory"--The word "lay" doesn't make much sense with this sentence. I think you meant to type "lied"

Your overall grammar was quite good, but there was one paragraph I was wondering about. When Hermione sees the banner and the Slytherins all laugh at her. I think you have some unnecessary semi-colons (;). It would read better if they were replaced by a (.) because the sentences around them can't flow well together if you replace (;) with ", and".

Well I think I'll stop criticising now. *lol* I'm off to chapter 2.

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you! Nickle looks like she's already gone to fix it, so yeah...I try my best, but I live in the US andsuck at Brit Picking...but I did set my spell check in Microsoft Word to be a British dictionary...lol...thanks....and, why did you have to end Soaked in a Sea of Envy? Why? Make a sequel, I demand you! Now! lol

Name: Jean (Anonymous) · Date: 02/15/05 23:14 · For: The Chapter That Takes Place After The First One
I liked it. A Ron/Hermione from Hermione's point of view. Ron being hurt by Hermione this time.... I want to know what happens next. Is Ron the secret admirer? Is this secret admirer going to ever ask Hermione out?

Author's Response: Thanks! Amd to amswer your questions I'm just gonna say, "I don't know." lol....bye

Author's Response: From Vick: Telling you would ruin it! I haven't got a reply back, saying whether or not it was accepted or rejected, so it's still in queu (sp? lol) Just one hint though - Hermione's been having a deen about Ron and a mysterious girl - try to think who this girl may be, and look at the cotext and despcritions of her, and try to think of a saying about dreams, I'll give you a hint: "Dreams do come ___" lol

Name: CattyDeLuca (Signed) · Date: 02/15/05 22:03 · For: The Chapter That Takes Place After The First One
Your story is awesome! I love it so far, please write more :)

Author's Response: From Nicky: Thanks! I promise that we will. Vicky submitted the 3rd chappie in a few days ago. It should be OK now. I hope. lol.

You must login (register) to review.