MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Evilpersonified (Signed) · Date: 03/22/05 16:30 · For: Completion of the Prophecy
oooo, drama! I love the idea of the final battle, although I always imagnined it to be longer...go figure. Lupin was wondefully in character! I love Lupin! And the little banter between Lupin and Snape: Loved it. The dialogue was a little static and seemed a little forced. Try to make it flow more. The line I thought was the most static was Moody's line about the prison cells. I think it just needs a bit of rewording. Anyway, great job on keeping the plot together, and the ending was wonderfully fluffy!

Author's Response: I like the bit between Snape and Remus as well. I can't keep the dialogue fluent in this fic because I am too lazy to rewrite it, however, I shall keep it in mind in the future. Thanks! You liked the ending? I am so pleased because I didn't!

Name: Evilpersonified (Signed) · Date: 03/22/05 16:24 · For: Memory and Urgency
Ha, I told you I would review every single chapter! Okay, comment time: The first part, the part where Snape, McGonagal, etc. got kidnapped, was a bit...sudden. I wasn't really prepared for it. You seemed to take a giant leap forward in time. Second comment: I understand that you were trying to add drama and importance to the conversations, but the characters started sounding like they had just been transported out of a shakesperian play in some of the sentances. Just try to make it sound more natural. All that said, I think you have a wonderful plot going, and please don't think I hate your story, because I don't. And don't think that just because I found something you could correct that I think you can't write, because you can! *goes off to read the rest of the story*

Author's Response: I love it when someone reviews every chapter! Anyway, about how they talk; I stated this in a previous review "I am aware that they talk like that. Tis proper English. You see I read a lot of old fashioned poetry and write novels that take place in olden times, so that influences my writing style quite a bit. I apologize if it annoys you. " Sorry about the suddenness, but this was my first fic, so I was not sure about how slow or fast the story should go. I was worried that if I went too slowly it would get boring. I greatly appreciatte you sharing your thoughts.

Name: Evilpersonified (Signed) · Date: 03/22/05 16:17 · For: Snape's Counsel
Hehe, Snape rules! I love Snape, and you didn't ruin his character! YES! Draco was...interesting in this chapter. Not OOC, but you put a twist on his character, showing his more vunrable side. It seemed a bit sudden, him admitting that he loved her so quickly. I would imagine that he would first deny it, but that's my only concern. Oh, little sentance problem: add a "the" to the sentance "Next day as Harry and Ron" so that it reads "The next day as Harry and Ron...". I will comment on the other chapters as I read: I'm highly interested to see where this goes.

Author's Response: Thank ya! I was going to put "The next day" but in 1 of the HP books, I cannot remember which one, it says "Next day instead of "The next day" so I thought it would be okay to use in n HP fan fic. I think Snape is a fun character to write, so I put him in almost all of my fan fictions. Without fail though, Remus Lupin is ALWAYS in my stories. You shall see as you read on!

Name: Evilpersonified (Signed) · Date: 03/22/05 16:11 · For: Death Eaters' Council
I like this fic so far: interesting to see how Draco could start worrying for Hermione without turning into a sappy bloke you just want to slap. Draco will always be evil or, at the very least, a git, and I think you have portrayed his personality very well. One minor comment on Hermione, however; I don't think she would say the word "mate", just judging from how posh she seems. Not posh in a bad way, just not a city kid. I imagine her having quite a polite English accent, unlike Ron, and she would probably say "friend" instead of "mate". Maybe it's just my English brain being overanalytical. Beautiful job, and I look forwards to reading the next chapters...

Author's Response: Yeah, I HATE when Draco randomly turns sappy! I guess I never really thought about if Hermione would say "mate" or "friend" I just wrote the story without thinking much. lol Thank you for reviewing!

Name: GinnyRox (Anonymous) · Date: 03/13/05 16:08 · For: Completion of the Prophecy
Yeah I'm definately sad about Dumbledore. Actually you are better at endings than you thought. All I wonder now is what happened to Ron. Magnificent story! You're really good at seeing a story through Hermione's eyes! 10!

Author's Response: Yippee!!! 10!!! I'm glad you thought I understood Hermione's perspective well and that my ending wasn'y bad. Er, I actually do not know what happened to Ron. I don't like him that much, so I hadn't thought about it. *ducks all the food that Ron-lovers throw at her* He, um, just went to work for the Ministry I guess.

Name: RebeccaPotter (Signed) · Date: 02/28/05 12:54 · For: Completion of the Prophecy
I loved the ending so much i could die! Genius! I have nothing else to say but if j.k can write better i will be suprised

Author's Response: I am sooooooo pleased you liked my story, but do not die! You doubt J.K.R. could write better? That is the BIGGEST compliment I ever recieved!!! Thank you so much!

Name: madfoot (Anonymous) · Date: 02/19/05 21:38 · For: Completion of the Prophecy
Keep up the good work! I would be more sad if Lupin died. DONT KILL LUPIN.

Author's Response: No worries; I would NEVER kill my future husband. Thank you!

Name: wolfsbane_potion (Signed) · Date: 02/16/05 21:15 · For: Memory and Urgency
not too much fluff i meant

Author's Response: I know what you meant! Thanx!

Name: wolfsbane_potion (Signed) · Date: 02/16/05 18:25 · For: Memory and Urgency
I only read this fic cuz my sister made me, and guess what? I actually like it cuz there's not too much. You are a good writer and I think you should write a Marauders fic.

Author's Response: I've already written some Marauder fictions. I just have not submitted them to mugglenet yet. Thanks you.

Name: darling (Signed) · Date: 02/16/05 16:52 · For: Snape's Counsel
Wow! i neva thought about THAT being the reason why snape is so bitter; great idea! great story!

Author's Response: Thank you, I thought twas a good idea, but J.K. Rowling has said in book 6 or 7 there shall be something about Snape falling in love or having been in love, so I speculate that my theory shall be disproved.

Name: HedwigsHeart (Signed) · Date: 02/16/05 16:51 · For: Snape's Counsel
Oops, I should have submitted my last review under chap. 3 Sorry. Oh, and dont take the "OXOX" personally I use them in most of my reviews. Still a great story!

Author's Response: No problem. Thanks!

Name: MrsMoony (Signed) · Date: 02/16/05 15:49 · For: Completion of the Prophecy
Hey lupin had a great part! A little short, but good anyway

Author's Response: Of course Remus Lupin had an awesome part; I love him!!! Judging by your name you do, too. I bet I love him more than you! lol Thank you for reviewing!!!

Name: HedwigsHeart (Signed) · Date: 02/16/05 15:34 · For: Completion of the Prophecy
I hate this fic cuz Hedwig wasn't in it! LOL just kidding You get 10

Author's Response: Sorry Hedwig was not in it, but tis from Hermione's point of view, and I did not even put in Crookshanks; therefore you should not feel too badly. HHHHHHOOOOORRRRRAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!! I got a 10!!!

Name: HedwigsHeart (Signed) · Date: 02/16/05 15:32 · For: Snape's Counsel
I bet that's how the Malfoys would react if Draco did ever end up with Hermione. Great JobXOXOXO

Author's Response: I believe so as well. Thanks!!!

Name: Busy Bee (Signed) · Date: 02/16/05 14:50 · For: Completion of the Prophecy
really gd i think it should hav been lil bit longer. oh well i think you should keep writin!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. Sorry for the shortness, but glad you liked it anyway.

Name: icesk8monkey (Signed) · Date: 02/14/05 13:41 · For: Completion of the Prophecy
i think its good but it needs more detail. elaboration. i didnt think a story would only be 4 chapters though.

Author's Response: I've written other fan fics, which I have not yet submitted to mugglenet, and they are all short, also. I guess writing long fics is not my strong suit.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review!

Name: HermionePoter (Signed) · Date: 02/13/05 19:27 · For: Memory and Urgency
i like the way they talk.ive always loved the people that talked in that way although i could never use it myself,a bit to hard and confusing seeing as im eleven laterz

Author's Response: I am happy that someone else likes sophisticated speech, too. As long as you read enough of it you could learn to use it. Thanks for reviewing!

Name: icesk8monkey (Signed) · Date: 02/13/05 15:36 · For: Memory and Urgency
i think the story is ok, but the wording you used like i know not and we know not was a but weird. why are there only going to be 4 chapters in this whole story?

Author's Response: I am aware that they talk like that. Tis proper English. You see I read a lot of old fashioned poetry and write novels that take place in olden times, so that influences my writing style quite a bit. I apologize if it annoys you. (You are not the only one to say tis irritating.) Yes there are only 4 chapters, however, I shall most likely write a sequel.

Name: icesk8monkey (Signed) · Date: 02/12/05 17:54 · For: Death Eaters' Council
great story. it doesnt seem like draco would do that 4 hermione though. update soon. plz r+r my story harry potter and the department of mysteries.

Author's Response: Oh, I, obviously, think he would. Thanks for reviewing and I'll read your fan fic if I get the chance.

Name: hermionesclone14 (Signed) · Date: 02/12/05 12:39 · For: Death Eaters' Council
Nice,I like it.I'm not a big Draco/Hermione person if Draco would have a ship I would chose Draco/Ginny but anyway I like it and thats a big compliment for a ship I'm not really into. 10/10 for you!

Author's Response: I am very happy you enjoyed it and you gave me a ten?! *dances joyfully around the room* Wow thanks!

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