MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Name: A H
(Signed) · Date:
07/18/09 16:28 · For:
Before I even read further I have to say how very freaking Draco the first passage is. 'Freaking' because I can't say the other word, but the other word would hold the weight of just how very freaking Draco it is.
"I'm sorry," he said simply.
I… don't even know how to explain why that hit the amazing radar. I'll try from the beginning….
The imagery from this passage was just amazing. Using past tense the way you did, it allowed for his current and past emotions to be shown, and seeing how conflicting they were—the emotions themselves and how they compared, present to past—just… inspired images. Fear, pain, more fear, hope—it was like the emotions painted the scene, so I was seeing through a haze of (freaking amazing writing) . . . emotions. That's the only way I can explain it. :/
But back to Draco. It starts off with the six years of Azkaban and slides smoothly and flawlessly to the bathroom scene with Ginny, and from point a to b, two very different sides of him, it's just so… in character. It's Draco. And maybe that's why the 'simply' line caught me; an apology from him is something that probably happens once in, I dunno, fifty or sixty years, and his saying it 'simply', it just made the scene blow up in my mind. Like he was even surprised that he would apologize.
I've never been so taken with the first five/six hundred words of a story. :]
But oh, before I forget, the obliviating. Dare I say it again? I dare. AHHHH it's just something he would do. *smiles and nuzzles into her Draco* You have seriously done his character justice in such a small space.
If she was with me, she wouldn’t be living in such a pathetic little place, Draco thought. With a sharp jolt he was reminded that Ginny wasn’t with him, she was with pretty-boy Potter.
I'm going to try and pry myself away from the happiness that Draco's character isn't just another carbon copy, but this line/s made me smile. It shows so perfectly what a true control freak (even in a mild sense) Draco is. And the fact that you've completely avoided any of the old rivalry between him and Harry and simply listed him as pretty-boy is just wonderful. It shows that he doesn't and never did like him, but you didn't stray from the Ginny/Draco point by downing us in Draco/Harry rivalry. Very nice. :]
I have to say the ending was kind of abrupt. It feels like unfinished business and, well, don't stab me with pointy things but I just don't think Draco would give up that easily. I was completely captured by the mood and feel of the ending, but Draco is a fighter in my mind. If he wants something, he'll do whatever he has to to get it.
On the other hand, six years in prison changes a person, so maybe it's a moot point.
What struck me most about this story was the imagery. Some stories, no matter how well written, interesting, or hear-wrenching they are, simply tell you a story. While that's acceptable—I read to hear a story—being able to see things so clearly, it's . . . I dunno, nice? lol. As I first said, it was like watching things through a haze of emotions, and from what was happening to how dear Draco was feeling, I was definitely not disappointed.
I feel like thanking you for doing Draco such justice. xD
Author's Response: Ari, that is the most amazing reveiw ever. I didn't even think this fic was that good >.< but as long as you like it, I am over the moon! I am glad you like Draco so much! I know what word you meant, you told me on AIM lol Draco is one of the few characters I feel like I can characterise half decently, so I am incredibly happy that he works for someone else too :-D I am glad I didn't dissapoint you! What else can I say? just thankyou so much Ari! *squishes* Russia xxxxx