Reviewer: HG-HP-fan
Date: 07/22/10 21:14
Chapter: Chapter 1

It's interesting to see someone look at Draco this way. I wish your chapters were longerf.

Author's Response: Thanks. It was interesting writing about him. Also, I wish I had written the chapters longer as well. :) I am determined to revise this fic one day and hopefully expand it so it doesn't feel so rushed.

Reviewer: coolh5000
Date: 11/30/09 19:57
Chapter: Chapter 1

The first chapter was a great follow on from you prologue and I feel that you really settled in to the flow of the writing in this chapter. The timing and transitions were written much more smoothly and it was a lot easier to follow the action. I always felt I knew where I was in the story and how it fitted in to the overall picture

I continued to enjoy your characterisation of Draco. He is different to his time at Hogwarts and this is shown most effectively through his relationship with Katie. When he is with her, he becomes funny, kind and loving, and is able to reveal quite how much he has changed as a result of having her. Underneath, however, there is still so much of the old Draco left in him. My heart sank at this moment: “Nothing,” he lied seamlessly because I so desperately wanted him to tell her and share his problems, but of course the old Draco within him still has the natural instinct to lie, and you wrote that element of his character very well. It came through in several moments throughout the chapter. When he goes to visit Harry for example he still is unable to stop himself sneering involuntarily and the use of that particular word showed quite how deeply Draco’s actions and reactions to Harry are imbedded in his character.

The plot in this chapter is progressing at a good pace – you are feeding us some hints about the mystery but without giving too much away. The suspense is building up slowly and I am definitely curious to find out more of the story. The actions of all the characters are believable and fit well into your overall story.

I think you show a great skill for balancing different emotions in a fic. Within this chapter alone, you were able to carefully mix the more angsty moments of Draco reflecting on his relationship with Katie and its ability to last under the threat of a dark power, with the sweet moments of romance between the couple, and also the subtle injections of humour. There are, both in this and the previous chapter, some lines that are written in a dry, very humorous style and made me chuckle. In this chapter, the line, .This was embarrassing, this sharing stuck out to me as a rather funny one. Draco is involved in a serious situation and clearly very worried but is still able to somewhat sarcastically reflect on the sharing of emotion between the two and how strange and unusual it was. But even within the humour, there were touching moments of emotion, particularly when Harry and Draco realise they share a common bond. However, none of this emotion is created through sacrifice of characterisation and their dialogue shows them to still not feel any particular affection for the other and to be naturally inclined to argue than to chat with one another.

Keep up the great writing, and I hope that in the next few chapters we get to learn more of the mystery behind the mark.

Hannah

Author's Response: Thanks, Bob!

Reviewer: ron lover
Date: 07/23/09 20:04
Chapter: Chapter 1

This chapter is freaken amazing. I LOVE it. I love the last paragraph. I really love the fight thing between Harry and Draco. It was greaat. I can't wait for the next chapter. I hope it's up as quick as this one was. :p

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: hermionegm
Date: 07/23/09 18:54
Chapter: Chapter 1

The story is very interesting. You have started out nice, I hope that you will continue in this fashion

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: fairylights1006
Date: 07/23/09 13:29
Chapter: Chapter 1

Very nice. Harry and Draco have more in common than they ever realized. I can't wait to see how it unfolds. And maybe Katie will be more forgiving than Draco realizes. After all, he almost killed her (accidently) in HBP but she still married him. ;)

Author's Response: Thanks!

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