First off, I love this story and it is the one thing keeping me from dying of boredom while babysitting now. But one thing. I'm Jewish and to name a Jew Haman? FYI, that's the name of someone who tried to kill Jews. So, that just bugs me a little.
This story is genius. I love the way that you write all these Nazis in such a completely unbiased way (for the benefit of the story). It's also a very interesting premise. :-)
Thank you. Not many people are willing to write (or read) stories with dedicated Nazis as the central characters, and I admit that I was hesitant to start writing this. However, I am glad I did. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
~ Tim the Enchanter
Continuing with chapter four, you divulge into a family evening, introducing us to Dieter and his siblings. I liked the way you showed Hans and Dieter bantering, and that Hans had difficulties concentrating on the book Mein Kampf. I personally haven’t read it, but I’ve heard that it’s not the best literary book there is. And still, it gave even more insight into the era.
What confused me a bit, though, were Hans and the pages he was reading on. Did he read the book backwards? Because before Dieter had the idea of reading to his younger siblings, Hans had only progressed about five pages into Mein Kampf. Then, Hans […] was still struggling with the fourth page of Mein Kampf, and when Dieter started reading aloud, Hans [was] looking up from the third page of Mein Kampf. Did he have to go back page by page because he didn’t understand what he had “read” previously and thus had to reread it?
But moving on. The younger siblings are positively cute, and I chuckled about Paul’s homework troubles and the exasperated Dieter explaining it to him. This small scene characterised both boys nicely, and added perfectly to the chapter’s setting of a quiet family evening. Also, again, it showed the teachings of that time, and that the Aryans were better and stronger than any other race. It was a simple way to portray those beliefs and yet very effective, like young children’s homework would have looked like back then.
The story you invented of Sky Captain Otto von Von was neat, and it read like being a true children’s book from Hitler’s era. Again, you leave me envying your creativity and ability to perfectly portray the time period.
Flower the owl was very sweetly described; the little feathery ball gave me an instant picture, and I would have loved to have seen that owl with my own eyes. And yet, despite being cute, the animal is trained and just waiting for the response. I chuckled at Dieter’s father’s antics of shooing the bird out without it moving. It’s really entertaining, and like in the Harry Potter books, authentically shows that the post owls were indeed very clever animals.
Some advice though: Be careful with dialogue. I noticed some parts were the dialogue should have been capitalised, like in the sentence He handed his parents the letter and the envelope and added, “and it’s addressed to me.” The “and” when Dieter starts speaking needs to be capitalised. Also, I noticed that sometimes, when someone addresses another person with their name, you forget to put the name in commas, like for example in the sentence You see Melita? (end of chapter three). There should be a comma after “you see”.
Another great chapter closes and leaves me waiting for more. Excellent work, Tim.
Guten Tag, Bine! So sorry it’s taken me so incredibly long to respond – I do apologise. But thanks for reading and leaving such a great, long review!
Anyway, I’m glad you noticed the bit about Hans reading Mein Kampf backwards – very good observation! You have correctly guessed that I was making fun of how badly written the book is, in which Hans had to keep going back to understand what he was reading. I’ve actually read the first three chapters of Mein Kampf (I gave up after that), and I found myself in the exact same situation Hans was in – rereading the same sentence over and over and having to flip back to previous pages. I’ll tell you that if you have trouble falling asleep, Mein Kampf is the book to read! It’ll knock you out within five minutes!
As you have probably noticed, I had enormous fun writing the excerpts for Sky Captain Otto von Von. I’ve actually sketched out the plots for a few books from the series, and if I’m feeling ambitious I might actually write some of these novels in full! However, that might not be a very good idea, because that means I would be writing NAZI PROPAGANDA CHILDREN’S STORIES! Perhaps I’ll include chapters of Otto von Von at the end of regular chapters as “bonus material.” Oh, and for a bit of historical trivia, the homework assignment about the foxes and rabbits was inspired by a 1943 Disney propaganda cartoon called “Education for Death” - though it is an American wartime film, I believe the classroom scene is a fairly accurate picture of what Nazi education was like.
Thanks again for reviewing, and I'm very pleased that enjoy this story and think it is accurate - my research has paid off! Also, sorry I haven’t updated in a while, but hopefully I’ll be back to writing at a feverish pace when my school schedule loosens up!
Tim the Enchanter
You know, I like the boy! I want to hate him, but I can't. I feel bad for him, and in a way all the young people who were brain washed into this sort of life....
You have a great story, it flows well. Keep up the good work!
Oh good - thanks for liking the story and for reviewing! I admit that I too have developed a soft spot for Dieter, despite his rather serious character flaws. Anyway, I have two more finished chapters waiting to be validated, so stay tuned!
Tim the Enchanter
A little surprised that the word magic does not appear.
Well spotted. As you have probably guessed, the letter was written for a Muggle audience - it wouldn't have been taken seriously if it explicitly mentioned that Durmstrang was a school for magic. But then again, the Heydrichs didn't believe it anyway!
Thanks for the review! Next chapter is in the queue!
Tim the Enchanter