I wish that they would be friends again.
You already know that I heart this fic quite a lot, but I’m going to detail all the reasons why in some reviews. –grin-
The opening few paragraphs of this are great. They set everything up perfectly and engage the reader immediately. You introduce all the major players, plus you give us this awesome setting with the tower. Love it.
Just briefly touching on the title of this chapter, I love that Regulus wants to be a completely prejudiced git. This is where, I think, we start to see a different side of Regulus that a lot of writers never effectively convey. You know, Regulus was a Slytherin, and he wasn’t a carbon copy of Sirius, but other writers…yeah, I don’t think they always think Regulus all the way through. You have, though. Um, basically, you rock at writing Regulus.
The background on Sirius and Regulus is lovely. Sometimes I forget that not everybody comes into these stories knowing everything about these two characters that we want them to know, and you do a great job of explaining things and providing a past without bogging the story down. (The side note about the Gryffindor v. Slytherin rivalry is nice and really helps to characterize Regulus more; it flips our sort of default ideas about the two houses and tells us that Regulus isn’t ashamed to be in Slytherin – he’s just not our ‘Slytherin equals evil’ type guy.)
And yet, Regulus is still bothered by the fact that he has non-pureblood friends; it shows that he does care about the opinions of his family, that he isn’t interested in completely severing his ties with them, at least not at this point in his life. Even though he regards his situation with mild sarcasm, I think it’s clear he does feel conflicted, and that’s basically the point, isn’t it?
Ah, I totally heart the conversation about Quidditch. This is something you do so well – writing normal, regular, every day dialogue. And I mean that in like…the best of ways. Because it makes the fic feel real, like we really are reading a scene out of Regulus’s life, and it’s easy to picture other days, other conversations about Quidditch. And, Matt and Rachel may or may not remind me of some certain other people. >.>
Of course I adore Sirius’s entrance into the fic. It’s perfect, exactly what I would imagine Sirius doing. The exchange between Sirius and Regulus is so sad, but so great. This is why I love our Black brothers. They are still brothers, and they do care about each other, but their lives went in different directions, and their relationship could never remain the way it was when they were younger. Ah, love. Obviously you know this, but you just write them both so wonderfully. I love when Sirius says, “You are my brother,” after Regulus says that Sirius is supposed to be on James’s side. Usually we think if James as more a brother to Sirius than Regulus, but again, you show how the Black brothers are, still, brothers.
Oh, that’s the end of the chapter. I sort of momentarily forgot you split this into chapters. But anyway, excellent of course, and I’m off to the next chapter.
Hello, SPEW buddy!
I'm here to leave a review. Obviously. =p
Um, I can't help but point out a summary mistake:
A story about Regulus and Sirius, written for the fourth SPEW Secret Santa exchance.
It should be 'exchange'. =]
That's about it. Now on with the review!
I really loved this fic when I first read it on LJ. And did leave a review saying that. I especially like the way you've portrayed Regulus. We don't know much about him, but whatever JKR's let on, you've formed it all up very well to give us a very IC Regulus.
He's got mixed feelings about every thing. He's trying to use his mind and not heart but in the end the latter wins. The same happens after he becomes a Death Eater. He joins Voldemort because he thinks it's his duty to do what his parents believe in. To take it a step further. Later, he finds out about the horcruxes, and what happens? His heart takes over and he realises that what he's doing is wrong. He tries to make amends and ends up sacrificing himself.
Over here too, he's thinking about not talking to Sirius, and staying away from Rachel, but he can't. Again, the heart interferes.
I like the whole brotherly relationship. First Regulus and Sirius used to meet somewhere alone to just talk... or not... to just have a good time together even though Sirius was the black sheep of the family and had been sorted into Gryffindor and not Slytherin unlike Regulus. Sirius is not into the pure-blood stuff and is a rebel. Regulus, on the other hand, tries his best to live up to the expectations of his family. But despite these differences, the bond is still there. Even when Sirius leaves, Regulus tries to persuade himself that since they're no longer family, they shouldn't meet but he can't help but miss his big brother. He wants to listen to his family, and does try his best but he can't overcome his feelings.
Regulus also likes a girl-- Rachel. And she's a Muggle born. Cliche, but it works really well. And I read some where that something becomes cliche because it's repeated again and again, and the reason why it's repeated is because it's true. So this is a good thing. Anyway, coming back to Rachel. Regulus is undoubtedly attracted to her, tries to stay away but can't help especially when the feeling is returned. Again, he's trying to not to something since it won't be allowed but he can't and succumbs to the temptation.
Also, you've mentioned the Quidditch bit some where in the beginning. It's another canon fact which you mention in passing.
Now on with Sirius. He misses Regulus and he shows it. He also agrees that not all Slytherins are 'prejudiced gits'. That's another thing I like. Sirius accepts it and does not act all against them unlike the way other fics show him to be. Also, apparently he has some girl issues too. A girl who turns out to be a Slytherin pure-blood. Lol. I like the talk between him and James too, it sort of adds humour to the fic where Regulus is all depressed over his complicated life. I love how charming Sirius is with Reeve. Obviously, there's something going on from both the sides.
I'd mention more, but since others don't know the ending, I will stop. *zips lips*
One thing though. The ending is lovely. Very realistic. *stops self from writing more*
P.S. PoA is on TV right now. Lol. /random
Author's Response: Ahaha! Another reminder that I need to finish updating this story. Thanks for your response to the part of the fic that's up so far, Afifa. And I will go and fix that summary mistake. -facepalm- Oh, but in your review you said that Rachel was a Muggleborn, but she's actually half-blood. I am so totally aware of how common it is to use a Muggleborn with a hardcore Slytherin character, so I wanted to avoid that; but I also, when taking Regulus' character into account, didn't feel like *my* Regulus would go for a Muggleborn. He can rationalize Rachel being halfblood as okay, but he couldn't ignore it if she was Muggleborn.
Oh, how I loved this story when I first read it in the swap. It’s such an incredible insight into the relationship between Sirius and Regulus. I know that you split the actual story in half, so I’ll try my best to only review the part that you’ve submitted as the first chapter.
It had been their thing, after all, he and Sirius. For his first four years, it was a ritual for them to meet as brothers, sneaking up to the top of this tower to talk, or not talk, and gaze at the stars.
Speaking of the relationship, I thought that this little part was really well characterized. I mean, Sirius and Regulus are clearly different and they both know it, but they are brothers. It’s one of those little facets in their relationship – that they actually do (or perhaps did, depending on when you want to speak about it) care about the other. Growing up, they were really all that the other had for playmates (I doubt that they would really want to play much with their female cousins), so they must have gotten along pretty well as kids. Anyway, I really liked how you emphasized that point right at the beginning – it really sets the stage nicely for the rest of the story to come.
One of the things that I really like about your writing style is how you do the dialogue. Dialogue is such a tricky thing to capture most of the times, and I think that you do it really well. I like that you don’t overuse the “…he said/she said,” at the end of every line. The fact that most of your dialogue stands alone really emphasizes what the characters are saying, as opposed emphasizing how they’re standing, breathing, or talking. (I only point this out because I’ve been working on dialogue recently and I have a rather newfound appreciation for well-written dialogue when I come across it).
“I wouldn’t get involved with her anyway.”
“Because you’re stupid.”
“Oy, what’s this? Aren’t you supposed to be on James’s side?”
Sirius shrugged. “You are my brother.”
“You’re such a girl.”
A perfect example of why I love your dialogue! Besides that, I also adored this conversation between Regulus and Sirius. Sirius was just perfect: he had the humor, the sarcasm, the quick wit, and the concern for James and his own brother. The fact that you were able to convey that in a minimum of words makes me worship your writing. Really.
At the very end, after Sirius leaves, you have Regulus talking about how he’s the quieter brother and Sirius is the leader. Although I absolutely agree with your characterization, I sort of wonder about Regulus and how he changed after Sirius left home. I think that he would have, perhaps subconsciously, taken on more of a leadership role in order to prove himself the exact opposite of Sirius and then flaunting that. I mean, the description of his room in Deathly Hallows just screamed, “Polar opposite!” I think that he would have tried desperately to prove that he was the “good son” unlike his older brother, even though he still cared for him.
Moving on, though. I love this story, Mar (could you tell?). The characters – even Rachel and Reeve – are absolutely superb. Just…love.
Author's Response: Oh, Kelly, thank you for your wonderful review! -squishes- And yay because you reminded me that I needed to put up the next chapter...