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Thread: Ravenclaws take to the pitch with high hopes!

  1. #11
    emily_the_poet
    Guest
    Elaine hovered high above the pitch, her eye out for the golden snitch. The game hadn't even started yet but something told her that this was not a match to prolong. The sight of those Transylvanians crossing the field gave her the willies.

    The captains shook hands in air and the bludgers erupted. The quaffle soon followed and the match began.
    *Is going to kill 50 character count just cause it's there*

  2. #12
    Wand_Waver2006
    Guest
    Gabriel flew to his spot, shaking his head at his brother. The female fans loved him, but he was a dobber sometimes. Why couldn't they see that? (Or that he himself was a much better catch.)

    "Oi! Stop your rubbish, the quaffle's up!" he called just as Avenal went after it. The commentator's voice drowned out the crowd, his magically amplified voice resounding around the stadium:

    "Welcome, ladies and gents, to the first Quidditch World Cup Final! Representing Britain, we have the Ravaging Radishes in blue playing for the memory of Rowena Ravenclaw! Their opponent is the undefeated Transylvanian Trekkers!"
    Exactly 100! *phew*

    ♪Star who hates the 50 character count thingummy♪

  3. #13
    red and gold
    Guest
    Avenal nabbed the Quaffle and turned towards the goalposts. He was quickly flanked by fellow Chasers Haven and Resold. He made eye contact with both and immediately they understood the plan. Avenal fell behind as Haven and Resold closed ranks in front of him. The three flew straight as an arrow towards the Transylvanian Keeper, Sedmohradsko Kersana. Tristan and Markus smirked at each other as the Keeper went pale. They each leaned down closer to their broom to gain more speed. The Keeper lost his nerve and vacated the goal, leaving the way clear for Avenal.

    "And the Radishes score!"
    Whew - 100 words.

    Okay, team - I'll be "Evil Drabble Monitor" today and ask for some corrections. Please feel free to disregard.

    but not with as much grandiose
    Jessica, on your last post, I think it might sound better to say, "..as much grandiosity" OR "but not as grandiosely"

    Star, "dork" is an American word; perhaps "dobber" or "berk" would be a better British term. The same with "clowning" - try "stop your rubbish".

    Also, I think the wording needs to be changed in "In blue we have the Ravaging Radishes, playing for the memory of Rowena Ravenclaw out of Britain playing the Translyvania Trekkers in red!" To make it flow a bit better, how about "Representing Britain, we have the Ravaging Radishes in blue playing for the memory of Rowena Ravenclaw."

    Thanks, guys! Erm, gals!

  4. #14
    Lily_writes
    Guest
    Just after it passed through the goal, Tristan dove after the Quaffle. He caught it an inch off the ground before soaring back up to the level of the goal posts.

    “Ready to see how a real Chaser scores a goal, Avenal?” he called, looping around an idle Transylvanian Beater.

    Avenal scowled as the cocky Chaser took off to the center of the pitch before returning to the scoring area. He dive bombed the poor Keeper and tossed the Quaffle in.

    “Twenty-nothing for the Ravaging Radishes!” the commentator yelled to the crowd. “Goals by Avenal Casten and Tristan Resold!”
    99 words. Too close for comfort....

    *hexes 50 character count*

  5. #15
    emily_the_poet
    Guest
    At that point something strange happened: Tristan was transfigured into a duck.
    Great right? I know it's short (twelve words short), but I want to see where Star goes with that.

  6. #16
    Wand_Waver2006
    Guest
    *rubs hands together* Hehe!

    The referee immediately blew the whistle. "Foul to the Trekkers!" he called.

    The Trekker fans started to boo and shout while the Radish fans called, "Good call, ref!"

    The commentator winced. "ooo, looks like the Trekkers have some bad seeds! Sefer Hacisri has transfigured Avenal Caston into a duck! I believe he may be put into the penalty box. . . and he is! Not very happy about that."

    LIttle did they know that that was that beginning to an all-out foul war.
    Wheeeeeeeee.

    ♪Star♪

  7. #17
    red and gold
    Guest
    Haven held the Quaffle tightly, preparing to take the penalty shot. He leaned forward on his broom and faced down the Transylvanian Keeper. He swooped to the left and the Keeper took the bait. Markus swerved quickly towards the right and scored. The crowd cheered wildly. Play resumed with a restored Tristan, but the team now had a grim attitude. When a Trekker Beater aimed a bludger at Avenal, Avenal whipped out his wand and hexed the bat to continually thrash the hapless Beater about the head and face.

    "Foul! Penalty shot to the Transylvanian Trekkers!" yelled the incensed Referee.
    100 words! at Camelot we eat ham and jam and spam-a-lot!

  8. #18
    Lily_writes
    Guest
    "Oh come on Ref!" Tristan shouted. "That Beater was… going for his head!"

    The referee glared and turned back to Avenal and a Transylvanian Chaser. Tristan grinned evilly as an idea suddenly came to mind. He pulled out his wand and conjured a club. The referee still had his back to him so he swung it the other Transylvanian Beater’s broom and lobbed off the front. Instantly, the broom nosedived and Tristan Vanished the club.

    “What happened?” asked the referee, turning around as the Beater screamed.

    Tristan shrugged as the Transylvanians pointed to him. The ref looked between them exasperatedly.
    100 words! -_-' Too close....

    *is ready to blast 50 character count into oblivion*

  9. #19
    Wand_Waver2006
    Guest
    "Nothin', sir," explained Tristan. Gabriel was shaking his head in the background.

    "Alright. Play on!"

    The fouls went back and forth for the next hour or so; Caston charmed the quaffle to sail away from the Trekkers, one of the opposing team members hexed Abel, the bludgers were attacking select players, and so on. Nearing the end, both teams were frustrated. Gabriel was ready to pull what hair he had left after this game out.

    "We need that Snitch, Evan!" he growled as the seeker flew past.

    "Working on it!"
    C'mon guys let's finish up!! *sweating with anxiety*

    ♪Star♪

  10. #20
    red and gold
    Guest
    Evan was trying, but how was one to find a walnut-sized Snitch in this chaos? Brooms set on fire, Beaters exchanging bats for axes, and the animal kingdom well represented as players were hexed left and right. Seven hundred fouls and three referees later, the Radishes were 50 points behind. Ducking a flaming Bludger,Evan suddenly saw the glittering Snitch hovering a foot off the ground. She dived, the wind whistling in her ears, her arm outstretched.

    She caught it.

    She held the struggling Snitch up triumphantly. The referee blew his whistle and gratefully yelled, "The Radishes Win!"
    Whew! 100 words even!

    Okay, Jessica, bring on the Cup! Let's celebrate our amazing victory!
    Woot!
    ~Andrea

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