In the Rubble at Godric's Hollow
Corinne Elaine Lerwick
So, I've recently created a new character to fit into the Potterverse. I am not sure I am doing it right, though, so I would really appreciate some feedback on the character itself. So here it goes:
Hello stranger, my name is Corinne Elaine Lerwick. I donít really know how people do this write-to-an-anonymous-pen-pale kind of thing, but I figured I could give it a try, lifeís not been too easy lately and I need someone who doesnít know me.
To start off with, I guess you need to know about my story, so here it goes:
Back in the past I was known as Corinne Elaine Granger; I was the second daughter of Jeane and Bill Granger. My family only consists of Jean, Bill and my older sister Hermione, weíre not a big family but itís a nice family. So I grew up in a muggle world, but ever since I can remember Iíve been able to alter the way I look at my own will, minor things at first. Mum said that when I was only a baby, I would make my hair change colours, she also said it startled her at first, but she eventually grew accustomed to it, plus it made me real happy. The first look on my parentsí faces was priceless. Most of the times when we went out, she covered my head with a hat so people couldnít see how my hair changed, I suppose it would have scared the muggle community.
Anyway, I was 11 years old when a letter came to me. It was from Hogwarts-the school I currently study at- and it said that I was a witch, at that moment my parents werenít really surprised because Hermione had gotten it a year before, although it explained why I could change my hair colour. My parents were extremely proud of me and also quite excited, I was quite happy too because I was going to the same school Hermione was attending, and I love my sister and did quite miss her when she was gone.
Getting into the whole experience of getting ready for Hogwarts was very interesting, although not as hard as it was for Hermione. Since my sister had already gone through it, she knew exactly where to buy everything I needed. We went to Diagon Alley and I was at totally awe by the magic it irradiated. We were in a place called Flourish and Blotts when I first met Harry Potter. I didnít grow up with his story, neither did Hermione, the difference was Hermione did serious research when she found out she was a witch, while I only had to sit down and listen to her talking about it. So she introduced me to Harry, he smiled warmly and shook my hand. I couldnít help to notice his scar, and felt the intense need to touch it, although I didnít. It was probably going to upset him or something. Afterwards, she introduced me to her other best friend, one she had been talking a lot about, his name was Ron Weasley. He smiled too, but a bit awkwardly, and shook my hand just as Harry did. He was a fun person, or that was the idea I had gotten from Hermioneís adventures last year. After meeting Ron, Hermione also introduced me to the whole Weasley family, and quite honestly I really liked them. Mrs. Weasley-Ronís mother-was so kind and warm it reminded me much of our own mother, she even made me call her ďMollyĒ and not ďMrs. WeasleyĒ, then there was Mr. Weasley-Ronís father- who was also really nice and extremely fascinated with the whole muggle world, he-too-made me call him Arthur. Following them, I met Ginny; she was Ronís youngest sister. It was Ginnyís first year at Hogwarts as well, and she was just as nervous and excited. As we searched for our school supplies together, we soon became good acquaintance, further on through the years Ginny became one of my best friends. Finally I met the twins, and I absolutely fell in love with them, probably not in the romantic way, but they were extremely cool. They, too, became really close to me.
On that very same afternoon before getting into the Hogwarts express, I met the vilest human being; his name was Draco Malfoy. He stopped us just before leaving Flourish and Blotts, he spoke to Harry with disdain, and then another man came in, he looked very much like Malfoy, so he was most likely his father.
He talked really badly of the Weasley family and our parents. I didnít like the man either, but he was probably more civil than his son.
At that time, the elder Malfoy took a long look at me, as if he was trying hard to remember who I was. It was entirely illogical and quite unnerving, because it was clear we had never met before, but he still seemed like he thought heíd seen me before-which was unlikely.
Once at Hogwarts, the sorting hat decided that I belonged in Slytherin. I could see from my sitting place that Hermione looked concerned, while Ginny looked disappointed. I was hoping that I got into the same house as Ginny, and it got slightly worse when I caught a glimpse of silvery blonde among the students sitting at the Slytherin table. It sucked that I was going to have to share it with him.
Through the years I did make some friends inside the Slytherin house, it was difficult because many were fill with prejudices against muggle-born people-like me-but I got through. One of the closest friends I got from inside the house was Astoria Greengrass, Melody Downkork, Matthew Revenue, and Lisa and John Cropper (non-identical twins); they were really nice. As for Malfoy, I canít say I got used to him through the years, if anything, I came to hate him even more than before. He only knew how to insult my sister and me, and let me tell you I can handle insults that are directed to me but no one messes with my family or my friends. This has led Malfoy and myself to fight a lot, and quite constantly as well. Even so, sometimes his words hurt me more than I want them to, sometimes Iíd like him to like me, itís a weird feeling; love-hate kind of thing. Itís complicated when it comes to Malfoy. Heís a confusing person.
Also, it was at Hogwarts where I finally learned why I could change my hair colour. Turns out I am a metamorphmagus, and that means I have the ability to change my physical appearance at will. I probably shouldnít be saying this, but it comes in handy and I do tend to use it often.
Now, I suppose you might be confused about why my real surname is Lerwick. This is the thing: my lifeís been a lie. My biological parents are not the Grangers, and Hermione is in no way related to me. I have no brothers or sisters, and my parents are Mildred and York Lerwick, Death Eaters. I havenít met them; I donít feel the courage to. A part of me wants to know them, to know why they gave me up, it makes me question if they ever even loved me, but the other part of me feels angry that they didnít want me to grow up with them, guilty because it was the Grangers who took care of me. It was a whole lot of new emotions.
After that, the teachers started calling me Miss Lerwick, not Miss Granger anymore, and even Malfoy started being nicer to me. That made me hate him even more, because he was so fed up into his own prejudices that he changed his attitude towards me just because I was not a ďmudbloodĒ, I was a pureblood. It was beyond ridiculous! Can you imagine that? He was just nicer (and just a bit nicer) because I was a pureblood! Itís bullocks!
Moving on, Iím still searching for more of my past. Up until now, I just know that my parents are both Death Eaters, and that Mrs. And Mr. Malfoy are my godparents.
I shall keep on writing to you if I find anything else.
So what do you guys think? I would really appreciate some help here, please?? D:
Arguing With The Sorting Hat
Hezzu! (That's Jenny-speak for hello.)
I think you're doing fine so far. Keep in mind that your story is AU though; if Hermione had a sister in canon, we'd know.
You haven't said--how old are you now?
What is your relationship with Hermione like nowadays? What did it used to be like, before you found out that you weren't related?
What are Astoria, Melody, Matthew, Lisa, and John like? Is one of them your best friend/closer to you than the others?
Do you think Malfoy's treatment of you reflects only his prejudices, or do you think anything else affects his behavior?
What are you interested in? Do you have a favorite class?
Which of your traits do you think makes you a Slytherin?
What do you have in common with Hermione? What is different about you?
And, just because I'm curious--how did you find out that the Grangers weren't your real parents? Is it a coincidence that you were put with a Muggle family that just so happened to have another witch daughter? (Because you could totally do a plot development about that...)
Setting Snakes on Hapless Relatives
Hi there. Corinne seems fine till now, but what you've written is her backstory, which is great! It's awesome that you have it, because you'll need it once you start writing, but I'd like to know more about her personality.
How does she feel when she finds out she's not a biological daughter of the Grangers? That must've been quite a shock.
How does she feel when she gets sorted into Slytherin and not Gryffindor?
What was it like growing up with an older sister as smart as Hermione? Did she admire her? Did she feel she was under her shadow?
A physical description would be nice too.
Good luck with your story!