The May Challenge Begins!

[Gonz]

Calling all Quidditch fans and fanatics, the May challenge will be beginning shortly.

Announcing your Team Captains for the month of May…

Gryffindor: hermione210
Hufflepuff: Just Tink
Ravenclaw: Wand_Waver2006
Slytherin: Sly Severus

The Contest Dates are:

Signup For Teams: Tues. April 24th
Challenge Begins: Sun. April 29th
Entries finished: Sun. May 27th

If you are interested in participating, please read the Rules of the Game, browse through the wonderful entries from last time, and keep an eye out for your House’s sign-up Thread. If you have any questions you can ask them in the Questions Thread or PM Kumydabookworm or Gonz.

Last, but not least, enjoy your time at the Quidditch World Cup!

The Referees,
Gonz
Kumydabookworm

[Gonz]

Since we now have the teams here is the challenge....

Writing History, Making Playbooks

During the 1300s, the Golden Snitch was invented to replace the Snidget. This event marks the beginning of the modern era of Quidditch. Your task is to describe a Quidditch game in the pre-modern era. Your match could be one of the first games played at Queerditch Marsh, one the last played with the Snidget, or anything in-between. Consult Quidditch Through the Ages to get an idea of when rules and different aspects of Quidditch were introduced, and show us your creativity when the book isn’t clear. So dust off your thinking caps and show us the beginnings of the noble sport of Quidditch.


Captains please start a new thread to write your match in. The sign-ups threads will be deleted, and last challenge's threads will be moved to Hermione's Corner.

[kumydabookworm]

*blows whistle* Assemble, teams! The time has come for the critiquing of your work in this World Cup. Congratulations to all the teams; the decision was very hard to make. I'm very proud of the effort all of you put forth, and I wish you best of luck in the following rounds.

Team Critiques

Use these critiques in order to improve your performance next round. You can even read the other teams' evaluations to see what they did well so you can learn from THEM.

Slytherin Team – Disqualified (see referees' note at bottom of critique)

Pros:
• Characterization
• Cool Plot Line
• Flow
• Dialogue
• Nice OCs

Cons:
• Mechanical Errors
• Fitting Quidditch into Founder Era accurately
• More Description Needed
• More Quidditch Needed

Overall Comments:

Your story was really interesting; we really liked the way you incorporated the stuff about the school’s start into the game! However, there just wasn’t enough about the actual game, and that should have been the main focus of the story. We enjoyed your characterization and your flow was excellent. It felt like your entire story ran on dialogue; next time, try to balance it with description more. Another thing: make sure to do your research. You should not have had snitches and you should have had baskets instead of posts in the Founders Era version of Quidditch. Mechanical errors also really hurt you – misspelled/misused words, some awkward punctuation – try to read over your own work and edit as you go, otherwise the writing looks careless (and we know it wasn’t!) Finally, the final scene with the red bludger, we got confused – was it a Quaffle, was it a Bludger? Make sure to make narration etc. clear so the reader doesn’t get confused. Overall, nice story with great characters/plot. Include more Quidditch and balance description with dialogue and you should be good to go!

REFEREES' NOTE: Guys, you didn't keep to the 100 words per post for each member - some of yours had over 200 words. We are strict about the rules so read them and follow them in the future. For this round, you were disqualified.

Ravenclaw Team

Pros:
• Characterization
• Flow
• Humor
• Good Quidditch
• Colorful Dialogue/Description

Cons:
• Sudden Ending (needs a bit more resolution)
• More Development of “Evan/Elaina”
• Used Snitch instead of Snidget – canonical error
• A Few Mechanical Errors (quaffle instead of Quaffle)

Overall Comments:

Let’s begin with the Quidditch. You guys did your research – the first World Cup was FILLED with fouls. You also had a lot of creativity in regards to the fouls. We know that the first World Cup falls right on the dividing line between pre-modern and modern Quidditch, so we understand why you used the Snitch – but the prompt asked for a pre-modern game, so you should have used the Snidget. Aside from that, your characters truly made your story shine – each one of them from Tristan to Cellon had vivid personalities. The only person that fell flat was the actual main character – Evan/Elaina. We feel like she was pitched as the main character in the story, and then we barely saw any of her personality or thoughts. Try to keep the main character in focus next time around. Your humor, dialogue and description made for such a colorful, engaging story. However, the ending sort of dropped off – a bit of resolution after the big discovery of “I’m a girl,” would have finished the story off better. Finally, watch your mechanical errors. You only had one or two, but they were easily fixed, so next time, try to squeeze that in if you can. Overall, very well-written story and a pleasure to read!

Gryffindor Team

Pros:
• Characterization
• Dialogue/Description
• Mood/Feeling
• Quidditch Research
• Flow

Cons:
• Nothing made it POP
• Mechanical Errors

Overall Comments:

You wrote a sound story, and really focused on the Quidditch. We saw EVERYTHING you should see in a pre-modern game. Your characterization was good, as well as the balance between dialogue and description. You had a really good mood/feeling for a historical game, and your flow was well-written. You had a few mechanical errors, so try to get those next time. The biggest problem we have with this story is that there’s nothing to make it POP; it doesn’t leave a lasting impression for us. We see all the Quidditch, but we need to see more than that next time. Make it a story that incites true emotion from your readers as well as covers the technical concepts. Overall, well-written story that was good to read.

Hufflepuff Team

Pros:
• Characterization
• Flow
• Point of View - CREATIVE
• Quidditch Research – Elfrida Cragg
• Plot – CREATIVE

Cons:
• Lack of Quidditch Descriptions
• Snidget’s Voice Inconsistent

Overall Comments:

What a creative story and plotline and character! That was truly the biggest strength in your story. We also enjoyed the historical reference to Elfrida Cragg, so nice research. You flowed very well, but we thought the Snidget’s voice was inconsistent. Most of the times, it spoke simply like a bird would, but once in a while, you’d have a complex word thrown in. Watch consistency in the future. Also, the major problem with using this creative viewpoint was incorporating the technical aspects of the game. Now, we are NOT asking you to alter the creative approach at all – we really enjoyed that! However, it would have been possible to have the Snidget watch the “Beans” play the game for a while as she was floating along – that would have made Quidditch a main point in the story, as it is for the Quidditch World Cup. Finally, you guys did have mechanical errors in the form of run-on sentences. We didn’t count that against you, however, because it really was part of what characterized the Snidget for us – a bit excitable and young and quick to form run-ons because she thinks so fast! Very creative and fun to read story, guys, but make sure to include more Quidditch somehow in the future.

Announcing The Winner...

Congratulations to the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team!


This banner is yours to keep, thanks to pixichik118. Please credit her and do not hotlink.



However, the fun isn't over yet! We felt that another team deserved accolades for their extremely creative approach to the prompt.



Congratulations to the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team!


Though you will not get any House Points, this banner is for you. Please credit pixichik118 and don't hotlink.

~The Referees

[Wand_Waver2006]

Good work, you guys! This round was fun! I can't wait until September's. Think you can take our Cup from us? *goes off to squee to her parents that Ravenclaw won even though they probably won't care*

♪Star♪

[Just Tink]

Great work, and congrats Ravenclaw! I'm thrilled on behalf of the 'Puffs- perhaps now Kumy will create 'The Bartholomew Creativity Award'! (just kidding. Or am I....) We'll wear our banner with pride!

[hermione210]

Congrats on your win, Ravenclaw! And great job, Hufflepuff! But look out-- the Gryffindor team wants their trophy back!

On a side note, I went through the threads and read everyone's entries... I really liked them all! It's interesting to see how one prompt can get four TOTALLY different responses. ('Course, I thought ours was the best, but I may be just a little bit biased there... ) In all seriousness, though, great job, and I can't wait until we see what will happen at the September QWC.

~Becca