Ratings/Warnings: 6-7th years (profanity and slash)
Word Count: 781
Link to Post Containing Artwork: Jess/Free
A/N: Thank you, Maple, for the brief read.
For the first time, James had nowhere to go.
Whenever he had been upset, a little sulking in his dormitory had fixed most things. If not, Albus and Lily were always there. It had never been like this; James couldn’t go to the dormitory- he would be there- and his siblings didn’t know.
They didn’t know who … what he was. He supposed they would know soon enough, but James was scared. He was scared of what they’d say, of what everyone would. How James felt was unnatural … he shouldn’t feel this way.
That was what he had said, before the s*** had hit the fan; his girlfriend had found out. He wasn’t breaking up with her, though … he was breaking it off with James. After everything that happened- the lust, the frenzied kisses in hidden corners, getting drunk off each other’s lips- it was over. The warm feeling in James’s gut was still there, something he desperately hoped wasn’t love.
His girlfriend knew; she was going to tell. Everyone would know.
The first time after it happened, James had cried. He had no idea why he felt the way he did, or why it felt so … right … when he was kissing him, but at the same time, James was scared. He didn’t have anything against being gay, but other people did. For a Gryffindor, he wasn’t very brave.
So, James found himself on the Quidditch pitch, broom in hand. He doubted anyone would look there; he hadn’t played on the house team since fifth year, and no one would be out there in December. The sky was clear, but the cold was bitter.
Trying to rein back all of his emotions- sadness, anger, and maybe-possibly-hopefully-not love- James took off into the sky. It only took a few laps for the old rhythm to return to him, and he remembered why he loved it.
Everything just seemed to fade away; no one else existed. Flying was just so … simple … and so exhilarating. Slowly, James pried his fingers away from the broom, and just held his arms out. Merlin, he hadn’t felt this good in a while.
It was a rush, but a different type from kissing him. It wasn’t complicated, or full of lust, no- it was pure adrenaline. Simple and wild. Like James used to be.
He didn’t know how long he was out there, but James knew it was awhile. His fingers were practically frozen to his broom, but he just kept flying. Flying kept the feelings at bay.
Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, a figure came running out onto the pitch. James would recognize that person anywhere. The emotion came crashing back in a tidal wave; anger, but mostly a sharp pang in his gut. The feeling had been love, it had to be to hurt that much.
Hesitating, James tried to ignore the figure on the pitch, but he was waving his arms, trying to get James’s attention. Closing his eyes, attempting to sum up any courage he had, James slowly drifted back to earth. His heart was taking up a frenzied beat, and he could see the same fear in his eyes.
The beautiful blue eyes almost covered by blond hair, the ones that had melted the anger away. James hated himself for it, but even after all the ets*** that had just happened, it faded away when he saw the fear.
“I’m so sorry,” he choked out once James’s feet had returned back to earth, before running at James. Their lips met, and the burning need was more than ever- as James bit his lip slightly, and his fingers became entangled in his hair- oh, god, James had never felt so alive. When they finally broke apart, James turned away.
He couldn’t do hide anymore. He couldn’t be someone’s dirty little secret.
“James … I …. I broke it off with her. You were right; it is you. I can’t f***ing run from this anymore; I … I love you.” In that moment, James swore his heart stopped. It couldn’t be. It was too good to be true. “Please, look at me.” At the pleading in his voice, the pain, James did. When he saw the pain, James found his voice.
“I love you, too.”
There, on the Quidditch pitch, James finally felt truly happy. They didn’t just kiss, they talked. But a lot of the former was involved.
After he had left, James went back up into the sky. Unable to stop smiling, he just flew, but it didn’t hold the same power it had before.
Nothing would compare to that kiss.