SPEW Buddy Character Chats

[jenny b]

Character Chats

Every month as part of SPEW Buddies, you will be required to do a character chat with your buddy in addition to reviewing them. These are not difficult, do not take up much time and are a lot of fun. You can do this either through IM or through PM/email. Basically, you and your buddy each take on the persona of a canon HP character and then chat to each other as if you were those characters. Here are two examples:

IM:

Sirius: Prongs! Guess what I just heard?
James: Snivellus got his head stuck in a toilet?
Sirius: Not this time. But there’s a cage full of pixies in McGonagall’s office, which is almost as good.
James: What on earth are we going to do with a cage full of pixies?
Sirius: Prongs, mate, you don’t have to do anything with pixies except release them! They cause the havoc themselves.
James: That’s boring, though! We’re the Marauders; we can be a bit more creative than that.
Sirius: What do you suggest?
James: Well, I’m sure an enlargement charm or two wouldn’t go astray …
Sirius: Brilliant! Where should we set them loose?
James: The Great Hall at lunchtime, I reckon. It’d cause havoc.
Sirius: Great minds think alike! Do you think it’s possible to multiply pixies?
James: We can always try …
Sirius: McGonagall is going to murder us this time!
James: You sound so gleeful.
Sirius: I’m only joking, you know the old bat loves us.

PM/Email:

Dear Harry,

I miss you. I could write a whole page of just those three words, but that’s sappy so I won’t. The Harpies are great fun so far; they’ve all really taken to me. Training doesn’t seem as hard when I can go back to the house with the team and put my feet up with a glass of wine. They keep asking about you, though. Hardly any of them have boyfriends, and I guess it’s just fascinating to them that you’re the saviour of the Wizarding world. But I should go, I have training in twenty minutes and I’m still in my pyjamas. Three weeks until I’m home!

Love,
Ginny.

Dear Ginny,

I miss you, too. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, though. I kind of wish I had taken the same path of you and joined a Quidditch training camp for the summer, I’m getting bored here. The Burrow isn’t nearly as interesting without you here. Ron and Hermione keep bickering about everything from bath towels to sleeping arrangements, but I know for a fact that Ron has an engagement ring hidden in his bedside table, because he takes it out and looks at it every night when he thinks I’m asleep. Don’t tell Hermione, though. Ron would never forgive me. I can’t wait until you get home. Two weeks and four days; I’m counting.

With all my love,
Harry.

Obviously, one buddy is the green character and one is the purple. (And you only have to do IM or PM/email, not both!) There is no limit on how long the chat must be, but use these examples as a rough minimum.

Please note that this chat must be completed for SPEW Buddies to count as your review replacement. If there are extenuating circumstances and you and your buddy cannot complete it, then please PM me before the end of the month.

Once you have completed the chat, one of you needs to post in this thread with the completed chat. Please use this format for posting:

Month:
Your name:
Your character:
Your buddy's name:
Your buddy's character:

Your chats must be posted in this thread before midnight on the last day of the month. If you have any questions, please PM them directly to me.

Good luck, and have fun!

[Amortentia x]

Month: July
Your name: Emma/Amortentia x
Your character: Ron Weasley
Your buddy's name: Russia/Russia Snow
Your buddy's character: Lavender Brown

Ron: Oh, um, hey Lavender.

Lavender: Ron! It's been years!

Ron: Yeah, I know. How have you been doing? You're... you're looking well.

Lavender: Thanks! I'm fine, busy busy, you know. How about you?

Ron: Oh, you know yourself. Training to be an Auror at the moment, actually with Harry. What have you been doing with yourself? The last I heard you had a temporary job with Madam Malkin?

Lavender: Yeah, I'm Assistant Manager now. I love it, it's the best job I've ever had. An Auror? Wow that sounds so interesting, how is Harry doing?

Ron: Assistant manager? Blimey, that's great, Lavender! Congratulations! Oh, Harry's doing fine. Harry and Ginny are engaged, actually - they're getting married next year sometime.

Lavender: Oh wow! *wiggles left hand* I'm engaged too! We're waiting until Viktor finishes his world tour before we start planning though, so we might not tie the knot until the year after next. Are you still with... Hermione?

Ron: Viktor... as in Viktor Krum, Viktor?

*brief pause*

Ron: Oh, sorry, Hermione? Yeah... yeah, we're married, actually. Two years now this March.

Lavender: OH MY GOSH! Congratualtions! I can't believe i didnt know! Yes, Viktor Krum... we met when I went over to Bulgaira. I forgot that Hermione knew him when he came over for the Tri-wizard cup, we should all meet uop and have dinner together! I'm, sure Viktor would be THRILLED to see Hermione and you again.

Ron: Thanks. We're very happy. Very happy. You and Krum, that's... unexpected. How long have you two known each other? Oh, dinner... I'm sure Krum would be thrilled, and Hermione too, as a matter of fact, but we're busy. Very busy, with work and everything. You know yourself, sure!

Lavender: Oh... okay then. I went to Bulgaria two years ago, me and Ewan (he was my boyfriend then) went to a Bulgaira game and Ewan had bought top box tickets so we met Viktor and... as they say the rest is history!

Ron: That's... nice. Has Viktor moved here, or is he still in Bulgaria?

Lavender: He's over there playing a match right now actually, but we usually both move between countries. I;ve been researching setting up a chain of Madam Malkins over there, but at the moment I've just opened a new shop in Hogsmede, so I'm actually acting-manager there until it gets established.

Ron: Bloody hell, Lavender, you're doing well for yourself, so! That's great. So... have uh, Hermione and Viktor been in contact lately, do you know?

Lavender: Haha thanks! Uhm.. that's a weird question, is everything okay with you and Hermione?

Ron: Oh, eh, no, everything's fine between us! Really! I was just, um, wondering whether or not Hermione was talking to him recently. Maybe she knew Krum was coming over here? I know she'd love to meet up with him...

Lavender: No, as far as I know they lost contact a logn time ago, but if youi and Hermione want to come round... that'll be great once Viktor gets back from Bulgaria

Ron: Um, sure, that would be good. When's he coming back?

Lavander: He'll be back tomorrow night what're you doing the rest of this week?

Ron: That soon? Em, I don't think much, really. I'll have to check with Hermione first. She's very busy at the moment. Working in the Ministry, actually. The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.

Lavender: Really? I never really clocked Hermione as a Care of Magical creatures kind of girl...

Ron: Well, she always did love her SPEW, ha ha. And she has to start somewhere. Hermione would prefer to work in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, I think.

Lavender: Wow, that's really cool. So how's your auror training doing?

Ron: It's... it's going good. It's what I've always seen myself doing, you know? I don't think I could ever see myself doing anything else.

Lavender: Weren't you helping in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes for a bit?

Ron: Oh, yeah. That was when Hermione went back to Hogwarts for her NEWT. I wasn't ready to be an Auror, and uh, George needed help in the shop after... yeah.

Lavender: Oh... I'm really sorry about that Ron. Listen, I really have to get back to the shop now, but talk to Hermione about Dinner, and send us an owl okay? I'll telll Viktor you said hello?

Ron: Um, yeah, sure. I said hello to Viktor. Right. Yeah. Good talking to you, Lavender. Bye.

Lavender: Sure, Ron it was great to see you. Goodbye.

--Emma

[Kuri]

Month: July
Your name: Jenn/Kuri
Your character: Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody
Your buddy's name: Alyssa/ ronlover
Your buddy's character: Frank Longbottom

Frank and Moody -

Moody wants to convince Frank to stay in the order.



Frank: Moody, can we talk?

Moody: Yes. Wait, Why?

Frank: It's about the Order; I'm thinking about leaving.

Moody: Yeah. Right. You're pulling my leg. You don't do humour, Longbottom, leave it with the wife.

Frank: It's You Know Who.


Moody: What about Him?

Frank: He might be targeting me. Alice too.

Moody: That makes sense, actually. All right. What makes you say that?

Frank: You Know Who is going after my unborn son.


Moody: You sure you're not blowing things out of proportion? People are dropping off left, right , and centre. You're an Auror. Use your head. How do you know this?

Frank: Yes, Moody, I'm sure. There's a prophecy about You know Who, and he, or she, might be in it also.

Moody: All right, I'll bite. Does Alice know?

Frank: Yes, we both know.

Moody: Well, and you just want to quit is that it? Just because of a few words? Not good enough, sonny, I'm not buying it.

Frank: The safety of my family comes before the Order, Moody.

Moody: Your family? Your family? Look round. This is your family. Remember that oath?

Frank: Yes, I remember. But things have changed. Alice and I aren't just fighting for our lives; we're fighting for our son's also.


Moody: Are you listening to yourself? Do you hear what you're saying? Fool! We're all risking our necks. Why do you think we are doing this? We are a family. You think I want to do this? Did you see the obituaries yesterday? Benjy mean anything to you?

Frank: Yes, we're a family, but Alice is my family and I need to do what best for her and the baby. Being in the center of all of this danger won't help anything.


Moody: Damn it. You are walking away. You are giving up. Of all people, I thought you were better than this, Frank. They're words. Words. Whatever you've heard, it's not set in stone. You can change this. Aren't you safest with Dumbledore? Why leave? You're not making sense. Go get Alice.

Frank: I know what you’re trying to do, Moody. I know how you work. You’re not bringing Alice in to this.

Moody: Fine. Tell me. How will you sleep at night, lying with your wife, when you get word that, oh, let's say, Lily's dead? What's the difference between you and the Potters? They knew what mattered, and this is how we are keeping everyone together. Want to run into your scurrying hole now, Longbottom?

Frank: I’m not going to ‘scurry’ away; do you think I’d leave everyone? I just want to get out of the Order.

Moody: 'I just want to get out of the Order'. That means you are leaving, and you're dropping a commitment to me, to Dumbledore, to the Prewetts, to everyone in this room. You know what the sad thing is? You're less of a father for that. I might not have kids, and we're not going there, but you need to think about just what you are leaving behind.

Frank: Don’t tell me that I’m less of a father for trying to get him out of danger. I’m not going there with you, so don’t go there with me. I’m doing what’s best for the baby. Yes, in a way, I’m leaving the Order behind, and most of them will understand why I’m doing it. I’m not dropping my commitment; Dumbledore knows that I’m doing what’s best for my family, and he won’t see it that way. As for you, I’ll still be answering to you at work.

Moody: I know you. You're going to walk out and it might not bother you for a while, but the minute she says something… just remember that you're not the only one involved. I can't tell you what to do like I could when you were a trainee. Mind you, I'm your superior, and if you ever speak to me like that again, I'll put you in your place. You can't take it back. Once you walk out of that door, you're gone. We can protect you. Think.

Frank: I’ve thought about it, believe me I have. You are my superior, and I take your advice into consideration, but it seems like you’re not thinking about the safety of me, or Alice for that matter.

Moody: So that’s it, is it?

Frank: No it isn’t bloody well isn’t it, Moody. I’m sure you remembered what happened to the Prewett brothers; one was tortured to death and one is missing. I’m not even sure which one is worse. Alice and I, we have someone else to live for now; it’s not wise to take the chances that we’re faced with in the Order. I look forward to spending my later years as a father, and I will make that possible as an Auror. I don’t need to be a part of the Order to fight. What do you have when this war’s over? You won’t have a damn thing.

[Amortentia x]

Month: August
Your name: Emma/Amortentia x
Your character: Neville Longbottom
Your buddy's name: Jenn/Kuri
Your buddy's character: Augusta Longbottom

Neville: I'm sorry, Gran.

Augusta: No, you're not. You don't even know why you're sorry, and look at me.

Neville: I am sorry. I'm not ashamed. I just... I just never told them.

Augusta:Well, what have you been talking about for five years? Plants?

Neville: No-one asked, Gran, and I didn't know how to bring it up!

Augusta:What?Do you think they'd pity you? Do you realise who your parents are?* Really, there are times when I doubt you're their son. You don't know how lucky you've got it. And you shouldn't be such a wallflower. Your father isn't like that; he sets goals and has a purpose. People love him.

Neville: I didn't want people to pity me. And no, I don't know who my parents are, Gran, because they don't even recognise me.

Augusta: Yes, yes, Neville, you're right. Let's lock them up in a mental hospital and forget about them because they don't recognise us. That would be fair. Frank and Alice, especially Alice, would be horrified if she heard you say that. What do you think I have done for you? Do think this is easy for me? I raised my family already. You only see them when you're on your holidays, it's not even a hassle. Do you think they'd forget about you?Merlin, Alice would never have left your side.

Neville: That's not what I meant. I... I don't know how to say it. Gran, I am proud of them. I am. I'm not ashamed. It's not that I didn't want people to know. I just didn't know how to say it.

Augusta:You need to tell me. Try. Let's see if we can get on the same page here and understand each other.

Neville: All right. I'll try. It's just that it's hard, you know? To have them there - actually there, right in front of me - but they're not really there at all, really.

Augusta: I do. You know, for the first few years, I refused to listen to the Healers and willed them to wake up. That's why I requested Jonathan to handle their case. He had to sit me down and force me to see the truth. The way they are now, Neville, is the way they're going to be. This situation isn't going to change. The only thing we can do is accept that, and work from there.

Neville: I know. I know. But it's hard. I didn't know that it was going to be this hard. Harry Potter's parents are dead - they're not here at all. But mine are alive, and yet, they're not here either.

Augusta: So nobody knows?

Neville: Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny know now. But I don't think they'll tell anyone. I'll have to do that.

Augusta: You know, for me, it's different. I don't see that. To me, Frank is Frank, and he always will be. Alice is still a quiet mouse. They're not dead. You'll never fully accept it - or at least I won't - that this is it. It's frustrating, but I can't walk away. It doesn't seem right, you know?

Neville: But I don't want to walk away, Gran. It's not like that at all. But... I can't see them as the people they used to be. I can't. All I have is is what people tell me. I don't know them. Not really. They'll always be Mum and Dad to me, and I'll always love them. Nothing can or will ever change that. But it's just hard.

Augusta: I understand. You know, if you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me, of course, but Jon would really help. Trust me. He has a way with people.* He wanted me to tell you that. I think he understands more now that he has a family. That's why he stays at the hospital. He's there for you .

Neville: I know. I just need you to understand that I'm not ashamed of them.

Augusta: I do. You should discuss it if and when you're ready.

Neville: All right, I will. Gran? Thanks. Really.

Augusta: You're welcome, Neville. We'll visit next week again.

--Emma

[h_vic]

Month: August
Your name: Hannah (h_vic)
Your character: Katie Bell
Your buddy's name: Russia (Russia Snow)
Your buddy's character: Angelina Johnson

Katie: I can't believe Oliver's got us down here this early - the match doesn't even start for another hour!

Angelina: Sorry what? I cant hear when I yawn

Katie: I was just saying I think Oliver's really lost it this time.

Angelina: He does take this thing a little over the top... I hope he didnt bring the diagrams again

Katie: I don't think I could take the diagrams at this time of the morning. Merlin, I need a lie in!

Angelina: Me too, even AFTER the match I have so much homework to do...

Katie: Don't remind me! I don't even want to think about that Potions essay. Do you think, if I got knocked off by a Bludger, Snape would let me off it? It'd almost be worth it.

Angelina: Not a chance! otherwise I'd be flying into the path of the bludgers, trust me.

Katie: Shame. I wonder what the Ravenclaws have got in store for us today. It almost seems Davies has been training them as hard as Oliver has with us.

Angelina: Yeah, almost. I don't see any sleepy Claws out here, do you?

Katie: Yeah, eurgh, I need coffee. This is torture.

Angelina: Coffee? I need firewhiskey! Where ARE the boys anyway? And where's Alicia?

Katie: You know what Alicia's like - she'll still be asleep. Any minute now Oliver will be bellowing for one of us to go and drag her out of the girls' dorms.

Angelina: Yeah, and you'll make ME go. Because I ALWAYS go and she always yells at ME.

Katie: She may yell at you but at least she'll get out of bed. She just ignores me.

Angelina: Well yeah... so have you heard if the Claw team are any good this year?

Katie: Well, they've still got Chang and Davies obviously. Apparently they've got a new Chaser who's pretty quick and a Beater who's more along the Slytherin lines - all bulk and no finesse.

Angelina: Well Harry'll win that easy then... That quick chaser sounds dodgy though. I wish I'd been able to persuade the parents to buy me a new broom, I never realised how SLOW this one was will I flew next to Harry. TRIED to fly next to him anyway...

Katie: That Firebolt is in a different league. He let me have a go the other week after practice, and as much as I'm fond of my old Nimbus, there's just no comparison, it there?

Angelina: Not even CLOSE. Oh look, here comes Alicia! Are her eyes even open?

Katie: I think she's sleepwalking!

Angelina: Haha looks like it! But WHERE is Wood? It's not like him to be late...

Katie: Maybe Fred and George kidnapped him and shoved him in a cupboard. We can hope at least.

Angelina: That would be good... Oh god. There he is now. Looks like the reason he's late is because he's been working on more of those bloody diagrams

Katie: Your Firewhisky suggestion is seeming more tempting by the minute.

Angelina: Well, we'd best be getting into the changing rooms this will no doubt take a very long time and sadly involve no sleep

Katie: I'm sure we can nap through the diagrams!

Angelina: Unless he spots us and pokes us with one of those damn wiggly arrows...

Katie: If he tries, he'll be seeing the wrong end of a Jelly-Legs Jinx.

Angelina: Haha, well here he comes, incase I don't get another word in edgeways, good luck with the match!

Katie: Yeah, good luck!

[ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor]

Month: August
Your name: Jess
Your character: Albus Potter
Your buddy's name: Alyssa
Your buddy's character: Rose Weasley


Rose: Hey Al!
Albus: Oi, Rose, you've been gone all morning!
Albus: You were supposed to meet me here over an hour ago
Rose: I'm sorry about that. I was with someone.
Albus: Really? Funny, you didn't have a boyfriend yesterday. [sips butterbeer]
Rose: That's because we started going out today.
Albus: Might this bloke be someone I know? Please say no, because I'm not looking forward to your dad interrogating me.
Rose: Yes, you know him. It's Scorpius.
Albus: [coughs] Wow, um...yeah. That's great, Rose. Brilliant. Couldn't be happier.
Rose: You don't sound too happy. But thank you.
Albus: I'm happy for you. Both of you. Really. It's just...
Rose: Just what, Al? You can tell me.
Albus: [long pause] I was just surprised, that's all. Scorpius never said anything about fancying anyone. I just figured that I'd know about it, that's all.
Albus: But, really, I'm fine.
Rose: Al, I've known you a lot longer than that. What is it?
Albus: Nothing. Absolutely nothing, just like I said. Do you think I'm lying to you?
Rose: Al, look at yourself! You're hiding something. Please, what is it?
Albus: What do you mean, 'look at yourself'? I'm sitting in the Three Broomsticks on a Hogsmeade weekend--waiting on you, mind. Exactly what about that is bizarre or tells you that I'm hiding something?
Rose: You visibly changed when I told you who I was with! I'm sorry that I bailed on you, you know that, right? If you don't want to tell me what's wrong, you don't have to, but know that nothing good will happen from keeping it in.
Albus: Ha! That's rich, coming from the one who was snogging my best mate behind my back!
Rose: It wasn't behind your back! I just told you!
Albus: But you never told me you liked him? Don't you think that it might actually be important to me? [lowers volume] I care about both of you, but I'm always the last to know about things like this.
Rose: I didn't think that anything would come of it, so I didn't bother telling you. I'll tell you who I fancy next time, if you'd like. And you aren't the last to know. I hope my dad is the last to know.
Albus: At least your dad will be able to sleep at night because he doesn't!
Rose: Won't you be able to sleep at night?
Albus: Do I have to spell it out for you?
Rose: Spell what out?
Albus: Rose Ann Weasley, you are the smartest person I know, but right now, Greg Goyle couldn't be as thick as you.
Rose: Thanks, Al. If it's so obvious, why don't you just tell me?
Albus: I WAS THERE FIRST!!!!
Rose: You were where?
Albus: Merlin's saggy left bollock, Rose, I can't believe you don't know! For years--years!--I've wanted him, and the first chance you get, you snog him behind the first building you see.
Rose: You-you want him?
Albus: That's what I said, isn't it?
Rose: Yeah, I guess so. So you've liked him... like that for years? And you've never told him?
Albus: Go on, tell me exactly what I should say.
Albus: "Hey, Scorpius, guess what: I'm gay and I fancy you."
Rose: I see your problem. But...I don' know what to say, Al. But you should tell him.
Albus: Right. Great idea. Then all of us can be miserable.
Albus: [takes a long drink] I just want everyone to be happy
Rose: But you aren't happy.
Albus: Well, that's not likely to change anytime soon. That doesn't matter anymore. Just...just go.
Albus: Snog your new boyfriend. I'll be okay
Rose: Al, don't make me feel bad about this.
Albus: I'm not trying to. If you feel bad, then it's all on you. The signs were there, but you didn't see them. Neither did he. Now, I'm effing miserable, and you two aren't. That's the way life is sometimes, and nothing is going to change that.
Rose: [sighs] I'm sorry, Al. I really am. Maybe you could try liking someone else?
Albus: I'm fairly certain it doesn't work like that. You can't control who you fancy, just like you can't control most of the things in your life.
Rose: Have you tried not liking him?
Albus: Can you?
Rose: I see your point.
Albus: Look, Rose, just forget I said anything. Go on, be happy. I'll be fine.
Rose: Al...
Albus: Stop it.
Albus: You wanted to know, and now you do.

[ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor]

Month: September
Name: Jess
Character Name: Neville
Buddy: Vorona
Buddy's Character Name: Hermione

Hermione: Neville, I was wondering if you could help me with something.
Neville: Um, I'm not sure I'm the right person to ask.
Hermione: Oh, no, you are, Neville. It's about my plant.
Neville: Oh, um, right. What sort of plant is it? Is it indigenous to England? Is it from Asia? Africa?
Hermione: It's an adderroot. I've been following the directions *exactly* in how I water it, but it's still looking limp.
Neville: So it's African. That means watering it is especially tricky. Where did you come by it? They're not a common plant.
Hermione: It was kind of mysterious. It appeared on my desk last year around my birthday with no note. I recognized it, so I knew it wasn't there to kill me. Actually, I had thought maybe you were the one who sent it.
Hermione: Don't you remember that thank you note I sent?
Neville: I would have sent you something...pretty. It's not exactly something that a non-plant lover would prefer. It doesn't flower, and the leaves only blossom for three days out of the year. It--oh, the note.
Neville: I had no idea what you were talking about. I didn't want to look like an idiot, so I just assumed that I had done it and didn't remember.
Hermione: Oh, Neville! Well, anyway, I have this plant, and . . .
Neville: ...And you are pretty sure it's dying, even though you've followed the directions in watering it properly?
Hermione: Well, according to the book, I'm supposed to water it every third morning, but skip it during the 3 nights of the dark moon, and the pictures all showed this tall, green vibrant thing. I've been doing exactly that, but it's kind of brownish and the leaves are, well, they're kind of wilting and dried-up looking. It was pretty tall and green when I got it, but now it's all just sprawled out over my desk, and brownish.
Hermione: Oh, and it has this really odd odor. Sort of like sulfur.
Neville: Hmm. I'm pretty sure your dedication to instructions isn't in question. Maybe the plant is sick or infested. Perhaps you could bring it by my greenhouse, or if it's too fragile to travel, I could come to pay it a visit.
Neville: Sulfur?
Neville: Odd.
Hermione: Normally I would bring it by, but I think you're going to have to come here. I don't trust that the leaves aren't going to all fall off on the way. And yes, definitely sulfur. Like mineral springs.
Neville: All right...just a minute. Got to get more Floo powder. Here we are. Now, lead the way.
Hermione: Here it is. See, it's all brown and limp!
Neville: So, you watered it right and it looked healthy when you got it?
Hermione: Yes. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to look it up. There's no plant like this in the books.
Neville: Oh, it's an adderroot all right, but [sniffs] I've never seen or heard of one smelling like this. Normally, when they're sick or rotten or being eaten up by parasites, they emit a salty smell, like seawater. The salt helps it retain moisture in the heat, but parasites eat the flesh around the salt and salt doesn't rot.
Hermione: Okay, so if it was sick it would smell like salt? But instead it smells like sulfur, and you don't know what that means, but you are sure it's an adderroot. So, what should I do?
Neville: For the moment...I don't know. I have no idea if this is some sort of new sickness that herbologists haven't discovered yet or if it's something else.
Hermione: Oh.
Hermione: I knew it was strange, but I didn't realize it was *that* strange. But then, everything in my life has been strange.
Neville: Let me get a closer look.
Hermione: Okay.
Neville: Hmm, the stalk seems to be withering as well, which isn't normal for--wait. Do you hear something?
Hermione: Oh, that. Yeah, it's memo time. All the memos are flying around right now, and it makes that flapping sound -- hey, I have one. Let's see, it says, oh, Neville, now what am I going to do? It says that if I can't get the smell out, I have to remove it. There's no place for it at home.
Neville: No, that's not the sound I mean. It sounds like a clanking, and it's coming from your desk.
Hermione: Oh! Oh, it's the Sneakoscope! But why . . . I just tested it last month, and I know it's accurate. What just happened? Well, there was the note, and you came . . . you're not hiding something from me, are you, Neville?
Hermione: Or something you just said?
Neville: Just curious...try bringing it closer to the plant and see what it does.
Hermione: You think the plant is doing it? But it's been next to the plant the whole time, and this is the first time it's ever made a racket. So, you think something recently changed about the plant? Okay. I'll bring it closer.
Neville: Merlin's beard, the thing is going bonkers!
Neville: I don't know what has been done to this plant, but it wasn't meant to be an office decoration.
Hermione: You're right. Do you think someone poisoned the plant? What poison smells like sulfur? I'd better not touch it.
Hermione: In fact, I did touch it earlier today. I'm going to go wash my hands right now.
Hermione: Okay. So what do you think could have caused this?
Neville: I don't know. I'll take a closer look.
Hermione: Be careful!
Neville: Ow! It's hot!
Hermione: I told you to be careful!
Neville: What the hell could make the plant so...
Hermione: Neville!
Hermione: Neville! Get away from it! Get under this other desk with me! Quick!
Neville: It's just a little hot. No need to--
Hermione: No, you're coming with---
Hermione: Are you okay?
Hermione: Neville?
Neville: Ow, my head. Hit it on the edge of your desk.
Neville: But yeah, I'm okay
Hermione: Oh, good. I guess the plant is done for, though. So, it wasn't the sender who did it, but someone later.
Neville: But who would do that? These plants aren't exactly the ideal carriers for weapons. They're basically only used for salamander food.
Hermione: Who, indeed?
Hermione: Wait, did you just say salamander food?
Neville: Yeah. Is that important?
Hermione: Neville! A salamander just ate my plant!
Neville: I don’t—
Hermione: Who would put a salamander, a creature that excretes gunpowder, in my office with an explosive plant?
Neville: But the plant isn’t explosive.
Hermione: Of *course* the plant is explosive! That salt that you were talking about? It's saltpeter. It's explosive, especially when mixed with sulfur. And the sulfur obviously came from the salamander's, er, leavings. That's why it smelled like it did. Just like sometimes our . . . well, you know.


If you're not confused just a little bit, you deserve a medal. This bit has some back story. First off, Hermione is canonically a member of Magical Law Enforcement, but it really wasn't overly specific whether she had a field job or a desk job, but I'm assuming it's a desk job. Hence, she has an office with a 'nice' plant.

The adderroot is of Vorona's creation, and the bits about its properties are mine. It does not truly exist in the Potterverse.

Salamanders are little gecko-looking critters that live in fire. They are, I believe, from Goblet of Fire book, but they at least appear in one of the books during Care of Magical Creatures class. The rest of it, where their poop is sulfurous due to it being a part of their gastrointestinal system, combined with the saltpeter elements of the plant and the charcoal caused by the salamander eating its way through the plant, is completely made up. Of course, charcoal, sulfur, and saltpeter are what make gunpowder. If a salamander poops gunpowder into a fire, is it noticeable? (that sounds like an 'if a tree falls in the woods...' joke) No. It would burn off quickly and be gone. However, in this plant, it accumulates, and as the salamander eats, it becomes hotter and hotter. Heat plus gunpowder equals kaboom.

Please excuse our fuzzy science. This was done at 2 in the morning.

[Evora]

Month: September
Name: Dinny
Character Name: Rose Weasley
Buddy: Hannah/h_vic
Buddy's Character Name: Roxanne Weasley

Roxanne: Rose, can you keep a secret?
Rose: Er, yes..? I think so. What is it?
Roxanne: Well, it's a good secret ... or at least I think it is. It's just I'm not sure how everyone will react, and I don't think I want everyone to know at least not yet. But I had to share it with someone, or I think i'll just explode.
Rose: Well, then, share it with me! Don't worry, I won't hit you.
Roxanne: Okay, well ... Scorpius Malfoy asked me out!
Rose: .... Oh. W-when?
Roxanne: This morning, after Potions. I dropped my quill and he picked it up for me and I teased him that it was very gentlemanly of him, so he said that not all Slytherins are idiots, and I said that of course I knew that, and he said that he doubted that given my family's views, and so I said that I had my own mind, and he said I should prove it and go to Hogsmeade with him this weekend.
Rose: Huh. Well. All Slytherins are idiots, mind you... but I guess you don't mind going out with one.
Roxanne: I think Scorpius is different though; he's just so much fun (and good looking too).
Rose: So much fun? Really? And how would you know that?
Roxanne: Well, I mean we've talked and stuff before.
Rose: How come you never told me this? I never even got the impression that you liked him!
Roxanne: Like I said, I didn't want anyone to know, I mean, he's a Malfoy. No one would let me live it down! James would be insufferable!
Rose: So do you think it'll just be a fling? 'Cause if not, one way or the other, you'll have to tell them. Including James.
Roxanne: I hope it won't just be a fling - I really like him, I think. I just don't want to tell them until I'm really sure, you know? You won't tell anyone, will you?
Rose: Of course! But... do you think HE likes you enough to go against his family? Don't you think its quite a waste to put so much time and energy in a relationship that the other doesn't really care about?
Roxanne: What? Do you really think he isn't interested? But why would he ask me out if he wasn't interested?
Rose: Roxanne, I didn't say he's not interested. I meant if he isn't interested enough. What would you do?
Roxanne: Do you think I shouldn't go, then? I mean, I guess maybe it could be his idea of some sort of sick, Slytherin joke.
Rose: No, I don't think you should go, but.. if you really do like him, there's nothing stopping you. Maybe it is his idea of a joke, but if that happened to be true, rest assured, I will hunt him down with our many relations.
Roxanne: Thanks. Maybe I should get aunt Ginny to teach me her Bat Bogey Hex in case he stands me up or something. Or maybe I should just tell him I've seen through his little game and not go?
Rose: You don't need to learn that hex, Lily would hex him for you. This really depends on you though. It's your choice. Whatever it may be, I-I'm okay with it.
Roxanne: Thanks, Rose. I knew I could rely on you. You're always so sensible about stuff like this - you never seem to get all caught up over boys.
Rose: That's because I don't get a chance, but you're welcome and if ever you need any more help, you know that I'm always here.
Roxanne: You would get the chance, if you ever gave them a chance you know. It's almost like you are waiting for someone in particular.
Rose: Er-no, I'm not. Whatever gave you that idea?
Roxanne: You can tell me, if there is a boy you like. I won't laugh. Even if he's a Hufflepuff.
Rose: He's not a Hufflepuff! I mean, no I don't like anyone. At all. Really.
Roxanne: Oh now you have to tell me who Mr-not-a-Hufflepuff is!
Rose: Not in a million years. Anyway, I have to go to class now. See you, Rox, bye!
Roxanne: Don't think I won't wheddle it out of you later, Rose!

[CoolCatElly]

Month: November
Your name: Elene
Your character: Draco Malfoy
Your buddy's name: Vorona
Your buddy's character: Snape

Snape: Draco, get inside. Then we can talk about what just happened.
Draco: I'm not going in there!
Snape: Excuse me? There are Aurors looking for us, which probably doesn't concern you, but the Dark Lord is hardly going to be pleased. This is the only safe location for now.
Draco: Draco looks around furtively and follows Snape inside.
Snape: Have a seat. He makes tea.
Draco: He's going to kill me, isn't he. He's going to kill us all.
Snape: Well, he'll unfortunately have to kill me first, so no, I don't think he's going to kill you. Not yet. And stop being so melodramatic.
Draco: Draco stands up suddenly, glaring at Snape. That's right! You stopped me!
Snape: Good. Anger is good for you right now.
Draco: You got in the way! I did everything right, he'll have to kill you first.
Snape: Is that what you call "protecting you"? I swear, when this is over, I'm going to have words with your mother. And you weren't about to do anything. Even Potter knew it.
Draco: You leave my mother out of this! I did it for her. She shouldn't have gotten involved.
Snape: Well, she involved me, so unfortunately, the three of us are all connected. I will die if you do, thanks to her. I've only been trying to protect you this whole year, but you keep accusing me of other goals. This ends now.
Draco: You're right. It ends now. Draco reaches for his wand, and points it at Snape.
Snape: Draco. Silently disarms Draco with Expelliarmus. Fighting me is not going to save your life.
Draco: Shut up!
Snape: Snape sets cup of tea in front of Draco. Says nothing, but redoes wards on the door.
Draco: My life isn't worth anything anyway. That's why he chose me. Why do you care?
Snape: Do you want to know the truth? Will you actually listen if I tell you?
Draco: Stares at Snape for a long moment. Then nods.
Snape: Okay. He sits down across from Draco with own tea. It may seem that I am harsh in my classroom, but I'm a teacher for a reason, Draco. I care about the future of wizardry. Maybe you can do a better job than we did. I care for all my students in some way, I just don't show it. And I did promise your mother I would not let you come to harm, that I would do everything in my power to protect you, and that I would do the task if it seemed you were unable. Does that satisfy you?
Draco: Draco, looking defeated, simply nods again. So what happens now? Now that he's dead. What happens to us?
Snape: Yes, that is the question, isn't it? Well, we need to have a plan. I think it would be best if you continued to blame me, at least publicly.
Draco: Where are the others? Did they go back to the manor?
Snape: I believe so, yes. We will be due there shortly.
Draco: He's going to be angry.
Snape: Yes, he will. Don't try to whine your way out of what he says, if you can. He doesn't care that you're still young. We will agree that you would have done it, but that we didn't have time.
Draco: Right. Draco stares down at the floor, then looks up. But it's done now, isn't it? It's all over. We've won ...
Sir, can I ask you something?
Snape: Go ahead.
Draco: Did you imagine it would be like this? I mean, if we really have won, why does it feel like we've just lost?
Snape: You're wrong, Draco. It's not over yet. This is only one victory. There are many yet to come, and as Slytherins, we must always follow whatever path suits us best.

[lucca4]

Month: November
Your name: Ariana
Your character: Lucy Weasley
Your buddy's name: Hannah
Your buddy's character: Percy Weasley

Dear Lucy,

Your mother and I are very proud of the hard work you have put in to be offered a place on the Quidditch team, but whilst I do agree that House pride is important, I would urge you to think carefully before committing to accepting the place. This is an important time in your education, and Quidditch training may distract you from focussing on your studies, as well as preventing you from dedicating as much time to your schoolwork as you might wish too. The short-term glory of Quidditch may seem appealing now, but in the long run, I doubt it will prove as helpful to your future as a strong grasp of Arithmancy. You know that your mother and I will support you no matter what you choose, but I trust you to think carefully on the subject before making a decision, because not only am I concerned for your education, but also that Quidditch can be very dangerous (although I wouldn't encourage you to ask your uncles about their war stories on the subject as they are mostly greatly elaborated) and we would hate to see you get hurt.

Your mother also tells me that you have a boyfriend. Now I know your mother can be a little too much of a soft touch with you at times, and I am concerned that she may perhaps have implied that she thought this to be a good thing. Sadly, it falls to me to be the voice of reason as ever. There will be plenty of time for boys once your studies are complete, but much like Quidditch, I am concerned that at this stage a boyfriend may be an unhelpful distraction to you from more important matters, and no matter what he protests to the contrary, a teenaged boy will undoubtedly not have your best interests at heart. Your mother is apparently deeply amused at the concept of me wielding something called a shotgun, which is apparently some traditional Muggle device for overprotective fathers. I do not think though that I am being overprotective – merely offering sensible advice.

I am very proud of how sensible you and Molly are (and so unlike your undisciplined cousins), and so I hope you will give due consideration to what I have said.

Your mother and I miss you and look forward to seeing you at Christmas. Take care of yourself.

Love,

Dad

P.S. I enclose some cookies sent by your grandmother (please share them with your sister). I did suggest that oatmeal would be a healthier option, but she was quite insistent that double white chocolate chip are your favourite.



Dear Dad,

You do realise this is the third letter you and Mum have sent this week? I’m not trying to imply anything, but I just wanted to point out that small fact to you. You heard about Quidditch, then? I was so surprised when I heard the news! Me, Lucy Weasley, a Beater? I accepted the position before I had time to read your letter — I do hope you’re not angry. You know I always take your opinions into consideration, Dad. You are the most intelligent person I know and I would never deliberately go against your wishes. But, as I’ve already accepted, it seems as though I’ll have to stick with it. I would hate to let the team down, and anyway I expect it will teach me an important lesson in commitment. That way, I can show my future employers that I am not only smart, but capable of accepting responsibility. Lessons have been going quite well, anyway. I’m reading that book you gave me, Putting the ‘O’ in O.W.L.s. It’s very insightful, and I think it will help me a great deal next year (though I must admit, asking the Headmaster where to take O.W.L. Preparatory classes completely slipped my mind. It seems a bit useless to ask now, doesn’t it?).

Oh… Mum’s mentioned Byron to you? I really can’t imagine why she brought that up. I only briefly mentioned it… Well, I hope you know me well enough to realise that I would never endanger my schoolwork for something as silly as a boyfriend. He is really more of a study-partner than a boyfriend, anyway. Molly, unfortunately, has become jealous of this, and continually spies on Byron’s and my study sessions. She has threatened to tell you some wild, highly inappropriate tale of what she thinks my boyfriend and I really do (but of course, all I do with Byron is study as he is a very intelligent boy. Not a Ravenclaw, but smart enough to be). These stories Molly conjures are utter lies, Daddy, and thinking she might tell you and that you’ll believe them… it makes me want to cry! I shall move on from here, as I never meant to complain in this letter, only to warn you of the silly stories Molly might be spinning. You would quite like Byron, I think, though funnily enough I don’t think you’ll ever meet him. What I mean to say, of course, is that he is a very family-oriented boy who usually spends the holidays with his own parents. There is no need for one of those ‘shotguns’ you spoke of.

I realise that you are probably beginning our summer plans, as it is already March. I know you usually send Molly and me off to Summer Learning Extension programs, but may I suggest a different approach this year? My friend Emily (bright girl, probably third-best in class — so a very good person to be listening to) mentioned to me that her family takes her to Greece during the summer holidays. And you will never believe it, but Emily does not do one ounce of work that entire time. She and her family spend time by the beaches and discuss subjects other than the magical properties of underwater creatures. Of course I admire your… drive to have us excel at everything, but perhaps it would be interesting to, for once, do nothing? Please don’t be angry with me, it is only a suggestion.

I look forward to hearing from you (and I undoubtedly will soon—not implying anything here either, Dad. Your constant letters are of great importance to me).

Much love,
Lucy

P.S.
Thank Grandmother for the cookies, please. They were very delicious, and I do love double white chocolate chip. Though, oatmeal is very delicious as well.