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Thread: June Activities 2010

  1. #11
    'Til the end of the line Ravenclaw
    Kill the Spare
    ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Forever and always in rarepair hell
    Title: In the Weeds
    Word Count: 790
    Chosen Character/Prompt: Susan Bones/Green
    Author's Note: There is much more to this story than is here, and perhaps I'll get around to it someday, but until then, I'm afraid this will just have to do. Enjoy.

    It was over. After years of fear and of death and of Voldemort, it was finally out of everyone's lives for good.

    It was draining, that feeling of completion; Susan Bones felt it sharply. Her life, up to that point, at least, felt purposed and focused on one thing - resistance. But there was nothing left to fight for, because they had already won.

    Or had they?

    The battle was two days gone, but so many of the combatants were too jubilant over the victory, too grief-stricken over losses, or some sick marriage of the two to leave Hogwarts. She was no different, but after days of seeing people weeping in corners, it was time to get out. Susan felt trapped by the raw emotion that surrounded her, and she needed some sort of release.

    Her feet carried her to Hogsmeade, but the town was nearly abandoned, as a good number of the residents were still at Hogwarts in the post-war throng. The doors and windows of all the buildings were sealed up tightly, save for one. The battered door to the Hog's Head was hanging open, swaying in the gentle breeze. Someone was inside, and it sure wasn't Aberforth Dumbledore, who was still at the castle.

    Wand out, Susan warily stepped inside of the dingy tavern. There was no trace of anyone in the room, at least until she heard a pitiful groan come from behind the bar. Had someone stumbled out of the battle, wounded, only to fall here? Maybe this mysterious moaner needed help, and she decided that she would take that chance.

    "Hello?" she called out tentatively. However, her hail was met by another pained noise at a slightly increased volume. Perhaps this person was unable to do more, which meant that he (judging by the timbre of the voice, it was almost certainly male) was in dire need of assistance.

    Susan rushed behind the bar to see who had had the strength to stagger this far, but when she caught sight of the source of the pained whinging, it was one of the last few people who she thought she'd see. It was Theo Nott.

    She picked up his hand to feel for his pulse. It was slow, but he seemed to be okay in that department. Next, she looked around his body for any sign of wounds, but she found none. That was when her eyes strayed a few inches beyond his hand and to the empty bottle of Firewhiskey that lay like it had fallen from his grip when he had passed out.

    He wasn’t wounded or in pain at all (well, maybe in pain a bit, judging by how much of it he had consumed). He was drunk. With an annoyed huff, Susan dropped his hand unceremoniously on the floor. She had no time for rotten, green-clad, Slytherin sots when there were people back at the school who were genuinely in need of help. This one could just stay there for all she cared.

    She strode toward the door in order to put as much distance as she could between herself and Theo’s stinking form; but, just as she was about to close the door, she stopped. Her gaze went back to the bar, behind which was her former classmate’s prone body. She couldn’t just leave him like that. As much as she wanted to, it was simply not in her nature to abandon someone in a bad situation, even if it was of his own making.

    With a flick of her wand, Susan Levitated Theo and guided him through the air and toward the stairs. It was an inn, after all; no matter how manky they may be, leaving him in a bed was better than leaving him on the floor. Soon, he was tucked into the cleanest room she could find. She supposed that she could have cleaned both him and the room up a bit, but he was one of them. It was more than he deserved.

    He seemed like a good sleep was what he needed, so Susan decided to leave him to it. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, but she pushed herself up to leave. It caught her by surprise when she felt a tug on the hem of her shirt. After looking behind her, she was shocked to see that Theo’s hand was the source. And he was awake, looking right at her.

    “Don’t leave,” she heard him whisper.

    There was no earthly reason why she should’ve stayed, but Susan felt herself shift back to her former seat, never looking away from Theo’s surprisingly lucid eyes. She knew she would never be able to resist that look in his eyes. “Okay.”
    Jess WritesJess DrabblesJess DuelsJess PoetsJess Draws

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  2. #12
    My review is here for Forty Days a Charm

    What inspires you to write your stories? Do you find specific things, or are they really just random?

    You wrote a lot of fics for challenges, is that because the prompts were too good to give up, or did you just want to enter them?

    Do you find it hard to write with a prompt or easier?

    How does it feel to be featured author?


  3. #13
    Russia Snow
    Oh GOD Queen O' SPEW, WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY did you choose that fic? WHY?

    I like OCs and obscure characters because I feel like they're more open for me to experiment with. I would NEVER EVER write Harry because I feel like he is JKRs character and I would never feel that my portrayal of him was accurate enough. I like OCs and obscure characters because I can make them my own, really. I also think that it is SO much more interesting reading about obscure chararacters because you don't know what to expect.

    The easiest fic to write, for me, was 'Forty Days a Charm' I think. It kinda flowed the best out of all my fics. Hardest to write was 'To Tell The Truth' i only submitted it because it was for a challenge, I was never happy with it.

    My favourite fic has to be 'I Never', it was my first one accepted and the reviews that I got for it made me want to write for the rest of my life

    My least favourite fic is of course 'To Tell the Truth' (so the opposite to you, Jen LOL) I hate hate hate hate it. Which is why I wish you'd picked ANY other fic to review >.>

    Thanks for the review and the questions, Jen! *squish*

    ~Russia xxxxx

  4. #14
    Hermoine Jean Granger


    Name of the Story(with link): Returning Home
    Author: Cwiddy
    Rating: 1st-2nd years
    Word Count: 1456
    Warnings(if any): Character Death
    Summary: It has been 10 years since the final battle and Harry had left, not keeping in touch with any of his friends for the past 10 years. Now he is returning home to face the friends he turned his back on for 10 years.

    Name of the Story(with link): The End
    Author: Ella Darcy
    Rating: 1st-2nd years
    Word Count: 1468
    Summary: It's all come down to this: The Boy Who Lived and The Dark Lord, battling for the fate of the Wizarding World. A Horcrux!Harry fic, without Harry dying.

    Name of the Story(with link): Of the Horrors Thine Eyes Have Seen...
    Author: Loving_Padfoot
    Rating: 1st-2nd years
    Word Count: 1741
    Summary: He spent two and a half years in the wrong place, but now he's out thanks to her. When they meet again, they are both ready for change. One-shot, AU due to a small detail that doesn't fit with HBP. Please R&R!

    Name of the Story(with link): Clearing the Brush
    Author: Muguet au Bois
    Rating: 1st-2nd years
    Word Count: 1802
    Warnings(if any): DH Spoilers
    Summary: The Malfoy family tree needs a little pruning

    Name of the Story(with link): Holding The Door
    Author: Dear Irony
    Rating: 3rd-5th years
    Word Count: 2474
    Summary: The sequel to “The Runaway”, but can be read as a stand alone. This time set to Anberlin’s “The Unwinding Cable Cars”.

    Harry has been gone for over nine months. Ginny waits for him to return, but is slowly losing hope. When an unexpected visitor shows up at her home of Godric’s Hollow, what will happen? Read to find out!

    Ginny's POV, Harry/Ginny

  5. #15
    Hermoine Jean Granger
    I love self-evaluation exercises! =)

    Review for For What It's Worth, by Aelan Greenleaf.

    This is one of the best AU fics that I've read, and one which entirely changed my view of Lily/James. The characterisation of James and Lily have been done in a marvellous manner. We don't see the extremely kiddish and bragging James, nor the whining, or extremely angry and commanding Lily. Something that I enjoyed while reading this was the fact that Lily and James were being friendly and teasing each other; they weren't yelling or whining. Many stories that mention James and Lily have them fighting all the time, and I'm glad this story showed another side of their relationship.

    The imagery depicted in the story is really good as well. The images were vivid, and some of the lines were really 'brought to life', as I would say. The idea of using snaps to bring the scene alive is a really good one, and I thoroughly enjoyed the bittersweet ending. The ending lines, especially, brought a tear to my eyes.

    As she leaves, the slight wind catches her whisper: "For what it's worth, James, I've only ever loved you."

    Powerful, and heart-wrenching. Truly superb.
    This is one of the first reviews I wrote which didn't consist of four lines and no substance. However, I think that this needs a lot more to qualify as a quality review. I find that while I have extolled the author's excellent work, I haven't really analysed the story enough or let the author know of the exact instances in the story that touched me enough to call it "one of the best AU fics that I've read."

    While looking at the positives of the above review, I noticed that I have made an effort to let the author know of why I find the story different from other similar stories. I don't say I have put it across in the best way possible, but there is a clear attempt that is seen. I have, however, learned that that while reviewing, piling up so many clichés from what you've read isn't possibly the best way to say to an author that their story is good. In retrospect, I feel that I should have concentrated more on what was better in the story I was reviewing, rather than talk about the clichés that the genre has. It is a better way to put across your view, and I, speaking as an author, would like to hear what I did right, rather than what clichés I avoided. As a reviewer, I seem to have overlooked this aspect entirely.

    The first paragraph has a sort of whiny tone, when I read it now, and it could have been phrased much better. I start with lavishing extravagant praise, switch to talking about the genre and the common peeves I have with stories, and finally comment on a different aspect entirely. There's no continuity in my flow of thoughts; I seem to be jumping up and down with excitement of having read something which does not have X/Y/Z peeve of mine.

    Also, when you look at it in its entirety, there's hardly anything about the story in question. I don't talk about the plot, the characters(well, I do this in a very roundabout manner), or the different devices that the author has used to make a convincing AU story. I have commented on the imagery - I am a sucker for description and this is unlikely to change in the near future - but it is mainly talk about how moving the piece as a whole is.

    Also, why did the ending lines make me tear up? Was it due to the buildup to it, or the description, or the gradual growth in the characters that we see throughout? In a review, I feel I should let the author know why I was overcome by emotion, instead of just writing what my reaction was. There's hardly anything to indicate my reasons, and to an outsider, that part comes across as a particularly hormonal teenager's ramblings. Not something that I, as a reviewer, would like.

    The third thing, something I have learned after coming to SPEW, is the use of quotes. There was an excellent RAC post regarding the use and misuse of quotes in reviews, and this happens to be a perfect example of how quotes shouldn't be used. I know I added it then because I thought that a review must contain quotes, but looking at it now, I feel that I haven't, by any means, elaborated on why that particular quote was heart-wrenching and caught my attention. This aspect is something I consciously work on while writing reviews these days, so it is something that jumped out at me when I reread this review now.

    Overall, while I can say that the review wasn't horrible, I can say that there is a lot of scope for improvement. I'd like to think that I have improved at least a little from the standard that I have maintained in this review.

  6. #16
    Russia Snow
    Title: Side-saddle
    Word Count: 486
    A/N: It's kinda VERY meh. I basically forgot my plot halfwayu through writing it... so it's not the best. It's also un-betaed.

    “You’ll be fine Adeline, you have to stop worrying.”
    The brunette eleven year old was shaking from head to toe. Fleur hugged her tightly.

    “Just tell Madame DuFlonce that you’re a little afraid of heights, I’m sure you won’t be the first.”

    “I’m not a little afraid of heights, Fleur, I’m TERRIFIED.” Adeline looked close to tears. “Everyone is expecting so much from me. How can the daughter of French Quidditch captain Lucian DeTerra be afraid of heights?”

    “Girls, girls! Hurry along! Madame DuFlonce is waiting for you on the pitch!”

    Fleur gave the other girl a reassuring smile, flicked her skirt around her ankles and hurried down to the Quidditch pitch.

    Madam DuFlonce was a tall, striking woman. She had long brown hair tied tightly in a pony tail that reached the whole way down her back. Her slender figure was clad in dark navy Quidditch robes and her pointy leather boots poked out from underneath the hem.

    The rest of the class were already stood on the centre line, Fleur and Adeline joined the end of the line, trying not to cause too much of a disturbance. Adeline wanted to be on the end, but GFelur pushed her ahead.

    Soon they were all stood in crocodile formation, each with a broomstick by their right heel.

    “Place your hand over the broom and say UP!”

    Both Adeline and Fleur’s brooms leapt into their hands immediately. Fleur grinned at Adeline, “It’ll all be fine.” She mouthed.

    “Now, mount your brooms and after I say three kick off gently from the ground. Note the gently.” She added, frowning at some of the boys.

    Fleur sat elegantly on her broom and kicked off from the ground. She floated a few feet off the ground and glanced back toward her friend. As she watched, Adeline kicked hesitantly off from the ground and floated a few metres into the air. She glanced over to Fleur,

    “Erm... Fleur... I don’t think you’re sitting on the broom right.”

    Fleur floated higher, she was now further from the ground than any of her class mates.

    “FLEUR DELACOUR! Get back down here right now!”

    Fleur bit her lip and descended to where her flying teacher was glaring at her.

    “Did I TELL you how to sit on a broom?”

    Fleur nodded.

    “Then why didn’t you do as I told you?”

    “I’ve always flown that way.”

    “Well not in my clas you don’t. Get inside and think about what you've done.”

    Woah, Fleur thought as she trudged back up to the castle with her broomstick in hand. What has she got so against side-saddle broomstick riding?

    Before walking through the grand pillars into the castle, Fleur glanced back at Adeline. The other girl was flying high above the others and even from a fair distance Fleur could see Madame DuFlonce clapping her hands in joy.

    I’m still going to ride side-saddle.
    So AS I posted that I came up with a way better plot. But I'm gonna post this one anyway. Damn my laziness.

  7. #17
    Title: untitled
    Word Count: 277
    Author's Note: Don't worry, I don't understand it either.

    Why did she have to have green eyes?

    They were so bright, so lively, so powerful. They could do crazy things to you, if you weren’t on the lookout. They could make you feel things you’d never felt before. Feelings you didn’t know existed.

    They were beautiful, glorious. Like emeralds, like Irish fields. They were dark and rich and something about them drove you absolutely mad.

    You can’t explain it. You don’t even know how you’d begin to explain it. But you never, ever thought that Lily Evans’s green eyes would make the pit of your stomach burn with unmistakable heat.

    Especially not since you were supposed to end up with Lucius Malfoy. It had been decided since before you were born, since before you even knew what it was to want someone, to need someone. You’d agreed to it before it occurred to you that love didn’t feel empty and didn’t come with a heavy sense of obligation, before you realized that you didn’t love Lucius, that you didn’t even like him, and that you’d never be happy with him.

    Before you realized who the one person you did want to be with had green eyes. Green like the silky Slytherin banners that draped the house. Green like Lucius’s favorite color, green like nearly everything in the house.

    Maybe you could have gotten through this, maybe you could have moved on, maybe you could have even learned to love Lucius, but there was this constant reminder of what you didn’t have, of who you were missing, of who you wanted that always got in the way.

    Why, oh, why did she have to have green eyes?

  8. #18
    My review for Agnes.

    What prompted you to pick Umbridge?

    What's your favorite part about reviewing/being in SPEW?

    Aaaaand for fun: What is your main guilty pleasure in fan fiction?



  9. #19
    Russia Snow

    What inspires you to write your stories? Do you find specific things, or are they really just random?

    Totally random and crazy things just POP into my head, although most of my fics are based off songs, lyrics or quites that remind me of certian characters.

    You wrote a lot of fics for challenges, is that because the prompts were too good to give up, or did you just want to enter them?

    I just wanted to enter the challenges The prompts were a lot of fun to write though and it was different and fun for me to write inside a timeframe and with a prompt.

    Do you find it hard to write with a prompt or easier?

    It honestly depends on the prompt. Some are like BAM I have an awesome idea and it gets written and it's all good. Others i go BAM, get an idea then it totally flows all wrong and I either can't make it even SEMI good, or it goes totally away from the rules of the prompt.

    How does it feel to be featured author?

    GAH HORRIBLE. Selina had it last month, and I asked how she got it and she just said that it happened and that she thought everyone took turns and that it would probably be my turn this month SURE ENOUGH. But it's terrible because I have this EPIC plan to revamp my authors page this summer and now ALL you guys have read my terrible stories and none of the awesome ones that I have inside my head >.> And the QUEEN O'SPEW read my worst one. /not impressed about that, Jen. >.<


    What prompted you to pick Umbridge?

    *tries to remember prompt* We had to explain why a character was evil, and I didnt really want to fo typical ones like Bellatrix. Me and Karaley dargen were discussing it and and Umbridge's name got thrown out there, then randomly one night this whole story formed in my head and that cemented my choice to pick her.

    What's your favorite part about reviewing/being in SPEW?

    I always like the feeling when I POST a review. I actualy hate the bit before it when I'm like "siiiigh now I have to go and write a 300 word review"(but that's just because I'm lazy) but as soon as I hit that "submit" button I feel really glad that I was able to give feed-back to an author and hopefully help them improve. The best part about SPEW it by MILES the people here. I always swore I would never join SPEW, but when Paige says 'Jump' I jump And I am soooo glad I did, I've met some awesome people here. Another thing that's great about SPEW is that it forces me to read. I'm TERRIBLY lazy (as I mentioned uo there) and if it wasn't for SPEW and SBBC I would probably never read MNFF fics. So I'm glad that it makes me

    Aaaaand for fun: What is your main guilty pleasure in fan fiction?

    Gah, slash. Definately. Harry/Draco= <3 Oh, and I also came out of the Snamione closet a few months ago XD

    ~Russia xxxxx

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