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Thread: Las Chicas Locas

  1. #21
    GinnyPotter
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    Okay, Since we decided the order, here is the beginning!

    You know, when someone plays quidditch for the Gryffindor team, I thought we were supposed to show pride for Gryffindor. But sadly, my Captain, Charlie Weasley, had different ideas.

    "Okay team, to make sure we win, we will make sure that everyone hears us hiss!" Charlie said happily when we were going over our jobs. He gets like this before a quidditch game, so I wasn't surprised. But I had one little problem, and so did everyone else.

    "Hiss?" we all exclaimed.

    "Yes, hiss." Charlie told us.

    "But aren't Gryffindors supposed to roar?" we asked while we walked onto the Quidditch field.
    Get ready to add on!

    ~*~Ginny~*~

    EDIT: Sorry TF. I fixed it up so it is 100 words.

  2. #22
    bittersweet_lullaby
    Guest
    "Listen, just get out there and play," Charlie told us. "Please."

    We all traipsed out to the pitch and waited for the match to begin. Charlie stood next to me, and as Madam Hooch walked to the center of the pitch, he leaned down next to me and spoke in my ear.

    "They’ll be after me so I can't get the Snitch," he muttered. "Will you cover me?"

    I nodded. Madam Hooch stared all around at everyone before ordering the two Captains to shake hands. They did, staring intensely at each other while clearly trying to break the other's fingers.
    Also, Ginny, the beginning is much too long. Each of us can only write 100 words, and yours is 220 (ah, the joy of Appleworks).

    - TF

  3. #23
    Third Year Gryffindor
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    After the captains finally stopped cutting off all circulation in their hands, we mounted our brooms. But before we could kick-off, Madam Hooch had a few words for us.

    "I want a fair game from everyone today," she said sternly, turning her eyes to each of us one by one, her eyes lingering longer on Marcus Flint, the Slytherin captain, who was known for bending the rules. This is definitely not going to be a fair game, I thought.

    Before we knew it, the balls were thrown in the air. We kicked off into the air, and the game began.

  4. #24
    GreyLady
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    The Slytherins were all over us from the start, our Beaters struggling to cover us while the Keeper made a valiant effort to block the hoops. The Slytherins’ grim determination was shocking in its intensity; I wondered just what was spurring them on.

    As I bobbed nimbly through blurred figures, I spotted Charlie under the attack of two fierce Bludgers. I didn’t think; I acted. The Quaffle made a rather loud cracking noise as it came in contact with a head.

    “Charlie, you okay?” I shouted. He gave a strained grin before zooming off in pursuit of the elusive Snitch.
    Are we supposed to have exactly a hundred words? I did, just in case. And you've got some minor problems, Ginny. Quaffle and Quidditch are capitalized, Angelina was not there when Charlie was, and if words aren't names then they aren't capitalized after dialogue.

  5. #25
    GinnyPotter
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    Thinking he was okay, I sped out to get the quaffle, which was going toward the Gryffindor goal post. When I was about to grab the quaffle from the Slytherin, he suddenly swerved down, leaving me to give of chase. But, he scored when I flew about 10 more feet closer to him. I heard all of the Gryffindors booing, and all the Slytherins cheering. I could hear the Slytherins more.

    As I saw the quaffle speed toward me, I reached out, grabbed it, and headed toward the Slytherin hoops. The Slytherins didn’t even know I had grabbed the quaffle.
    I did exactly 100 words too, just in case. Also, sorry for my errors, I will fix them.

    ~*~Ginny~*~

  6. #26
    bittersweet_lullaby
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    Ginny, I don't want to continue if the first bit is still breaking the rules. Do you think you could re-write it to 100 words so I can add on?

    I'll have to reply this afternoon. I have to do my math homework and get ready to go out. I'm going Christmas shopping (since I have to ship stuff to England) and I'm getting my superlong hair cut short.

    - TF

  7. #27
    GinnyPotter
    Guest
    TF, I fixed the beginning so it is 100 words. Sorry for the trouble.

    ~*~Ginny~*~

  8. #28
    bittersweet_lullaby
    Guest
    I hate to be a stickler or a bother, but that's still 171 words. I checked it in an Appleworks file. I just don't want to get in trouble, y'know?

    I'm sorry if I seem bossy or obsessive, but I just want this to get done and follow the rules.

    - TF

    I was speeding up now, heading for the goal posts. The Keeper looked up, saw me, and darted forward to block my shot. I grimaced.

    It's not going to be pretty if I don't make this goal, I thought. C'mon! I feinted left, flew right, and shot--

    A loud groan rose from the Gryffindor stands. The Keeper had turned around just in time to grab the Quaffle before it flew through the goal.

    I swivelled around only to see something large and black hurtling straight toward my face.

    I ducked half-heartedly, bracing myself for the pain.

  9. #29
    Third Year Gryffindor
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    But the pain never came. I could see the Bludger fly right past me and nearly hit the other team’s Keeper. I was extremely lucky. I quickly turned my attention back to the game.

    Over by our goalposts, I could see one of the Slytherin Chasers headed directly for our goals. I watched as one of our other Chasers sped after him. When she tried to steal the Quaffle from him, the Slytherin knocked her off her broom. I saw my teammate begin her slow flight to the ground and heard the loud thud of her body against the ground.

  10. #30
    GreyLady
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    Charlie sped towards her in dismay and I felt a twinge of jealously…since when did I care whether Charlie helped another girl? But the look on his face…

    In my distraction I almost dropped the Quaffle as it was passed to me, but managed it, barely. A Slytherin was flying very close to me--

    “Oomph!”

    He had jabbed his elbow into my stomach, resulting in a dropped ball and disoriented flying. That was the most obvious instance of cobbing I had ever seen! But nobody did anything about it.

    This game was getting more out of control by the second.

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