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Thread: "The *attempted* kidnapping of Severus Snape" Round Robin

  1. #1

    "The *attempted* kidnapping of Severus Snape" Round Robin

    In the interest of House Unity, ALL ARE WELCOME!

    Hello All,

    Over in Ravenclaw tower we have been having a fabulous time. The ladies have all gotten together and have been devising ways to kidnap Severus from the dungeons. Unfortunately he seems to have gotten wise to our little plots. Seems he has been taking internet lessons as well as forum navigation lessons from someone. *coughVVcough*

    So I thought we should start a Round Robin to see what kind of mischievious plots we can come up with.

    So scope out your spot and let's get it started in here.

    Severus sat in his dungeon classroom grading 3rd year potions essays. Suddenly the door burst open and Draco Malfoy came sauntering in. Severus jumped up from his desk with a look of murder on his face. "Mr. Malfoy," he sneered, "who has so offended you that you feel you need to annoy me with a diatribe at this late hour?”

    “Professor,” Draco spewed quickly, “I have heard a rumor that I think you should know of.”

    Snape raised an eyebrow sardonically. “Do tell, Draco.”

    Draco looked about the room suspiciously, as if expecting someone to be spying on his conversation and went on. “Sir, I have heard that some ladies in the castle have intentions…erm… towards you.”

    “What would these intentions be, boy?” Snape said, as he pinned Draco in place with his stare.

    “Well Sir, I heard they intend to remove you from your dungeons by force and well…” Draco was becoming nervous knowing that the Professor was not likely to be happy at the news, “take you to Ravenclaw tower.”

    Snape smirked. “And why would I want to go to that hive of know-it-alls?”

    “That’s just it, sir. I don’t think they care that you wouldn’t want to go.” Draco said quietly, hoping to not draw the Potions Master’s ire to himself. “I think their intentions are less than, shall we say, honorable.”

    “And where,” Snape drawled silkily, “may I ask, did you come about this information?”

    At this Draco paled. “Well, sir, there is a Slytherin boy who is quite taken with a girl from Ravenclaw and he was following her when he overheard her talking to some of the other Ravenclaw’s who had heard these ladies talking in the Common Room.”

    Severus slowly sat back down in his chair and clasped his fingers beneath his chin. He contemplated the stone ceiling. “I thank you for your information Draco, you may go now.”

    Draco knew better than to remain. He got up with a confused look upon his face and headed for the door.

    So, the Potions Master thought, they want to play a game with me. I think they will find that they have put the wrong ingredients in the potion this time.

  2. #2
    “Well, we should sneak into his room, of course. The attack should be around dawn,” Slian Martreb said knowledgeably, as she strode down the corridor with her Ravenclaw friends.

    Delaney, another Ravenclaw, rolled her eyes dramatically. “Slian. That’s ridiculous. It’s probably bloody difficult to get into his room. It was hard enough that one time we snuck into his storeroom to look for—” Delaney was cut off by a shushing sound. She looked over in its direction, her blonde ponytail swaying as she turned her head.

    “Laura!” she chided, spotting her friend. “No one is actually listening. It’s not like a mad plan to kidnap the Potions Master and hold him hostage in each of our rooms would actually be believed by anyone.” Delaney faltered, her confidence suddenly wavering. Laura was staring, in shock, blue eyes wide with shock, at a spot just behind Delaney’s left shoulder. Delaney’s stomach churned as she slowly turned around, only to see the steady stream of people hurrying past.

    “What—” Delaney began, confused, but she was interrupted by the entry of another conspirator.

    “Was that Draco Malfoy?” Lys asked, ducking through an archway to join the group. “He always seems to turn up wherever you are, Dela—”

    “Oh no,” Laura groaned, closing her eyes in disbelief. “Oh no, oh no, oh no.”

    Slian adopted a serious expression. “That means we’ll have to take action sooner. Tonight.”

    Delaney bit her lip in embarrassment. Now their beloved Potions Master would know everything. If she knew Draco Malfoy. And, right at that moment, she desperately wished she didn’t.
    Here it is! I certainly solved the mysteries from the first entry, but it leaves the Ravenclaw ladies in a bit of a pickle. Me and my assurance. *rolls eyes at self* Good luck to Periwinkle!

  3. #3
    The girls promptly took off back to their Common Room. They should have been more careful, should have known that Draco would be nearby, should have known he'd tell his Head of House about it.
    They tumbled in breathlessly, not stopping to catch their breaths, and fell down in a heap on the floor.

    "What are we going to do?" Lys moaned, biting her lip anxiously, her fingers unable to be still. They looked at each other, wondering what the next step should be.

    Slian looked at them matter-of-factly. "We have to do it tonight, then. The sooner, the better. He won't expect us to do it this quick, since he only got the news tonight."

    "We don't know what Draco really told him. We could be overeacting," Delaney added, fingers twirling around her blonde hair.

    "True, but we know he told Snape something...and if we don't act now, then our plan is most likely ruined," Laura told her. The girls sighed heavily and got up.

    "Let's all act normal. None of this happened," Slian instructed. "Meet everyone back here at 8 o'clock sharp. Don't be late."
    That's all I can crank out now. Go for it, Lurid!

  4. #4
    There was a stifled nervous laugh, and a creaking sound in the darkness as a pale hand emerged from the depths of the shelves holding an old gas lantern. A face poked out, and a turquoise eye darted around, calculating.

    Steph edged her way out the narrow opening between the bookshelves, and motioning with quick flitting hand gestures, told the others that the coast was clear. She pressed flat up against the wall, and was soon followed by Tina, and Lys who was wringing her hands together in excitement.

    They giggled shrilly and shuffled quickly out into the open area when tables that had been filled a few hours earlier stood empty and void of the rustling of papers, whispers, and Madame Pince. Slian Martreb walked out calmly, frowning at the other Ravenclaws.

    Delaney put her hands on her hips. “Way to ruin the mood, Slian.”

    Steph stuffed her hands in her mouth to stop herself from guffawing. “Yeah, here we were, being innocent stalkers, and you put a stop to it.”

    Slian looked at them indignantly. “I wasn’t stopping you. I was just trying to speed things up so we could get their quicker. It’s already quarter to! We’re going to be late, and we’ve got to meet Laura down there.”

    Slian picked up a book nearest the door with interest and pressed it into Lys’ hands. Lys pocketed the book, and then ducked her head in laughter.

    “Well, what are we waiting for? Everyone got their drool rags ready?”

    Delaney held up hers, and Steph stuffed hers in her bag before setting down the corridor at a full sprint, her long auburn ponytail swinging. The other girls exchanged looks, then smiling broadly, followed.

    They only got as far as the Grand Staircase when they found Steph stopped short, leaning over the stone railing. Her green eyes were wide and disbelieving.
    Go for it, Insecurity! *giggles* Hope it wasn't too amateur...

  5. #5
    Okay, I just spent the past half an hour doing this instead of actual school work... but oh well. *giggles*

    From down below, Steph could distinctly hear the smooth, sardonic tones of the Potion’s Master. “To bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses,” he pronounced so seductively.

    Steph assumed that her ears were deceiving her, but when she looked to her fellow housemates, she realised that they too had their ears pricked and mouth’s agape with horror.

    “We’ve been discovered,” Slian confessed.

    “Now we need to get back to the Common Room without anybody seeing us. But how?” Lys asked, getting a little flustered.

    “Actually, you won’t be going anywhere,” a confident, daunting voice spoke behind them. They each turned, dreading what they would discover, but were only greeted by Tina, who had a smug smile on her face.

    Perplexed, Lys stammered, “B-But…”

    “It isn’t the Potion Master down there. I do believe that the voice you hear is my ringtone,” she said. She didn’t blush. There really was nothing unusual about having Snape’s beautiful voice being played to her whenever someone less worthy was trying to get in touch.

    “I thought Muggle devices don’t work,” Slian objected, sceptical.

    “Actually these do. Dumbledore only likes to think we can’t use our mobiles so that classes don’t get interrupted by them,” spoke another voice, this one distinctly British (apparently) and slightly irritating. Laura ascended the stairs to greet her classmates; she turned to Tina and smiled cheekily. “Hubby called again. I made my best attempt at flirting with him seeing as every bloke who I flirt with ends up turning gay soon after.”

    “Laura, what would I do without you? That should keep him away from me until our wonderful plan is completed,” Tina beamed. She then grabbed her mobile phone, selected her ringtone and listened to it again.

    Slian turned to Steph, Delaney and Lys with a worried expression on her face. “From what Laura has just unwittingly confessed, it may not be safe for us to have her on our team. I mean, her flirting really is bad.”

    Two nodded, but Delaney was a little appalled. “But… we can’t ditch her!”

    “Actually, we can,” Steph said decisively. She then turned to Laura with a panic-stricken look on her face. “We forgot the Aniseed Balls!”

    “What?” Tina exclaimed. “I swear you picked them up. I told you to pick them up.”

    “Could you please fetch them for us, Lore?” Lys asked, pleadingly. “They are crucial, and the last thing we want is Maeve to accidentally eat one of the contaminated ones.”

    Feeling like the first-prize doormat, Laura skulked off in the direction of the Common Room. A little paranoid at her sudden dismissal, she turned back and asked, “You will be here when I get back, right?”

  6. #6
    Laura quickly ran back to the common room, grabbed the Aniseed Balls, and rejoined her friends. Now was the time to sneak up on Ravenclaw's favourite Potions Master.

    "Shh!" Lys said loudly as they turned the corner.
    "Okay..." Laura mumbled as she activated the Marauder's Map she mysteriously stole from Harry. "Snape is in his room!" she said excitedly.
    "Great," said Steph. "Now, how do we get there?"
    "Turn left here," Laura pointed to a long, cold corridor with no lights.

    The Ravenclaws walked in the direction of Snape's room in the light of their wands. They turned corner after corner, and finally they stood in front of a small, wooden door with rusting hinges. The hall was freezing. With her shivering, Laura dropped her drool rag. She hastily picked it up.

    "Okay," Tina said excitedly. "Lys will open the door while we all run in. Steph and Silan will Stupefy him. If for some reason they are otherwise engaged Delaney will do that. We will then levitate him under this Invisibility Cloak up to the Common Room. Then Snape will be ours!"

    Everyone cheered.

    "Ready?" Tina asked. The Ravenclaws nodded. "One, two three... go!"

    "Alohamora," Lys whispered. The door unlocked.

    She pushed it open.

    Snape was sitting on a battered black couch reading a huge book. He looked up. His eyes flickered with surprise, but then he understood. He put the book down.


    But Snape didn't have time to finish.

    "Stupefy!" Yelled Steph and Silan.


    I know it's not very good, but I don't really know where to go with it and I trust you guys to make it better. *laughs*

  7. #7
    Of course Snape was ready for them. He deflected the dual stupefy spells as if brushing away cobwebs. Turning, with a sneer he said, “Hello Ladies,” then as if thinking better of it, he added, “for lack of a better term.”

    Slian, looking at her comrades astonished faces realized that she had to take charge. “Hello Professor,” she said with a smirk that would rival his own, “we just wanted to speak with you about…erm…”

    “Aniseed ball…?” Laura offered, helpfully.

    Delaney was edging around the left side of the couch, and Lys the right as Laura kept getting closer with the outstretched box of sweets.

    “Good Gods, do you really think you have a chance of kidnapping me?” Snape said, looking truly puzzled. He stopped both girls from circling him with a vicious glare at each. “Do you have any idea who you are dealing with?”

    Laura, looking a bit nervous at this statement shook the box again, “please, sir, have a sweet.”

    “Dear Gods, woman!” Snape practically shouted. “Do you think I cannot smell the potion all over them from here? Now, I will give you one opportunity to cease this inane plot and leave my quarters,” he said through gritted teeth.

    Slian looked around at each of the Ravenclaw ladies, meeting each one’s eyes in turn to ascertain if they were still interested in following through, but one was missing.

    Tina had slipped out in the melee and into the Potion Masters private bedroom. She was amazed to find that he had no additional wards preventing entry, but then normally, if someone had gotten to his sitting room it was probably by invitation. I wonder if he actually gives out many invitations? Probably not, she thought.

    Slian tried not to let the shock of her missing classmate show on her face as she searched for an appropriate response to Snape’s demand that they leave. “Well, sir, I am afraid you will just not be able to get rid of us that easily.”

    “Trust me madam, getting rid of you lot will be entirely that easy.” Snape appeared to be in complete control as he turned and pinned Lys with a steady black eyed stare. Delving into her mind he extracted thoughts and emotions that he hadn’t entirely expected. He flipped through images of himself seated in the Ravenclaw common room surrounded by a rapt audience of girls hanging on his every word.

    Releasing Lys, he turned his gaze on Laura. In her mind he found images of himself in a heated debate with her, as he couldn’t hear the words, he had no idea what the debate was about. He could, however, sense that her emotions were very much in turmoil…

    Snape stopped suddenly with a sharp intake of breath, and removing himself violently from Laura’s mind; he turned and glared angrily at the door to his bedroom...


    I am such a troublemaker.

    Edit: This is horribly un-beta'd. Please forgive me.

  8. #8
    While Severus’ attention turned to the Ravenclaw student in his bedroom, no one noticed that another woman entered the hallowed office. She quickly assessed the situation and knew that something was happening; why else would there be so many Ravenclaws in Snape’s office?

    “Hem, hem,” she said with a fiendish gleam in her eyes. And then an evil smile appeared on her face, when everyone seemed to freeze with horror. Even Professor Severus Snape. “Well, well,” she continued, after she had their undivided attention, “what are we up to here? Why are all these Ravenclaw girls here, Professor?”

    “And what are you doing here, Ms…?” he asked in his smooth, oily voice that made everyone cower. Well, obviously everyone but these insolent Ravenclaw girls and the annoyingly mysterious woman, Severus mused a moment later.

    “You may call me Professor Joanna, Professor.” Her answer was accompanied with a smile that indicated that two can play this game. “Girls, it would be best to leave him to me…”

    Her suggestion was met by an uproar from the girls present.

    “Just because you are a professor, you don’t have the right to have him to yourself,” Laura cried, throwing vindictive glances at the newcomer.

    “No one is having me!” Severus protested, but his voice was subdued by the loud approving ‘yeahs’ and ‘she is rights’.

    “You know, you are right, Laura,” the woman seemingly agreed, “but you also have to agree, that I could tell the headmaster what I just saw. Because I’m sure he would be interested to hear that there was a female student in Professor Snape’s bedroom.”

    “I’m not going anywhere,” Tina said, coming out of the bedroom. Crossing her arms, she shook her head vigorously.

    “You cannot send us back to our rooms, you aren’t a professor at Hogwarts,” Lys argued and then looked at her suspiciously. “How did you get here?”

    “Now, that’s a good question,” Severus said and looked at the self-proclaimed professor, awaiting her answer.

    “Well, I’m here because I’m a friend of the headmaster...” Professor Joanna started to explain, but Lys interrupter her.

    “I meant, here,” she said, showing around.
    This is my contribution. Now, Peri, it's all yours.

  9. #9
    Professor Joanna raised an eyebrow at Lys. "Being a Ravenclaw, you're not very smart, dear. There's lots of ways I can get into this office. There is more than one door."

    Laura and Delaney exchanged looks. "If there was something you needed to tell the professor, I'm sure you would have walked in the right door; the more visible one," Laura informed her. Professor Joanna balked. The girls had her and she knew it.

    "Maybe if it's really important, and I don't want others knowing, I can go through any door," she retorted.

    Severus, who had been quiet and pale throughout this whole ordeal, frowned. "I'm sorry, Professor. I don't recall anything important going on."

    "Of course you don't," Professor Joanna said breezily. "It just came up."

    "But surely, if it's so important, wouldn't the Headmaster call a meeting?" Severus asked, glancing around the room.

    "It's only meant for you and me, Severus," Professor Joanna said, amusment in her voice.
    "Could you tell the girls to leave? We need to talk."

    Professor Snape looked at each of them pointedly. "Leave, or I shall deduct House points."

    The girls grumbled and begged, pleaded and shouted. But Severus was having none of it. After a few minutes, after he had gotten the last Ravenclaw girl out, he collapsed in his chair, head in hands.

    Looking up at the new professor, he asked, "Now what was so important?" Professor Joanna launched happily into her recount of what happened in the Great Hall that previous hour. Both, however, weren't aware that Slian had slipped out, and was listening to every word.
    Not my best, but I hope it's enough. Things have certainly...changed. Let's see what Professor Joanna tells Snape, and more importantly, what Slian hears.

  10. #10
    Slian pressed her ear to the door in a most unsubtle fashion, straining to hear what Professor Joanna had to say to the Potions Master. She couldn't make everything out, and was tempted to just leave, as what she was hearing sounded incredibly mundane, something about owls in the Great Hall. Slian couldn't understand why the Professor would have been so secretive about owls.

    Sighing, she turned to go, when she distrinctly heard the word 'kidnap.' Whirling around, she thrust her ear at the keyhole, hitting her head rather fiercely. It didn't phase her, though, and she kept listening, jaw dropping at several intervals. She continually had to stifle gasps. When the conversation reached what she thought was the end (she couldn't be sure, as she was still not hearing everything), Slian jumped upright, hitting her head yet again, and raced up the stairs, intent on getting to Ravenclaw Tower as quickly as possible.

    She flew into the Common Room, paused to look around for her friends, and made a beeline for them.

    "Well?" Tina demanded. "Did you hear anything good?"

    "What was that woman doing down there?" Laura asked indignantly. "I don't know what right she had to boot us out of there." Delaney and Steph nodded their agreement. Slian drew a deep breath.

    "You all are not going to believe this! That Professor knows about us! Everything we've been planning! She's had house-elves spying on us! She said she felt she had to warn him about our childish prank." Slian's eyes flashed dangerously. The others were making noises of anger and disgust. But Slian wasn't done. "Here's the worst part. She's not concerned for him at all! She's trying to get in ahead of us! Just before I got out of there, she offered to let him have the use of her private rooms for as long as he wanted, to 'foil those children!'"

    "Oh, she is going to regret meddling with us," Lys growled.
    Sorry it took so long, everyone! Can't wait to see what Vorona does with this!

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