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Thread: A Snap Shot in Time- A photographic drabble

  1. #1
    BleedINink
    Guest

    A Snap Shot in Time- A photographic drabble

    Nineteen-year-old Lily Potter stood at the edge of the courtyard, looking off into the distance. She was waiting for him and she really didn’t want to wait any longer. And there he was just across the way, her beloved, her husband, her James.

    She ran to him, arms out stretched and he welcomed her into his open arms. Their bodies collided but not a sound was made. Lily felt her feet leave the ground; James was spinning her around, just like every other time they embraced this way. As he set her down their eyes interlocked, either felt the need to speak. Why, when their souls had had this conversation so many times before? This was timeless exchange of thoughts and feelings and hope in one lingering look. Their expressions spoke volumes, books of unspoken words. Their love vibrated around them, creating an almost visible aura. Lily felt safe here, in her husband’s arms. James ran a tender hand through her hair, she closed her eyes against it and he just smiled. It was an action that he repeated a million times and Lily hoped he would do so a million more. She lay her head against his chest, squeezing him with all her might, trying to envelope herself in this mass, this being she loved so much.

    A silent wind blew through the courtyard, shuffling leaves that couldn’t be heard.

    Nineteen-year-old Lily Potter stood at the edge of the courtyard, looking off into the distance. She was waiting for him and she really didn’t want to wait any longer. And there he was just across the way, her beloved, her husband, her James, her eternity…
    ***

    A young man of nearly seventeen watched the ever repeating scene once more, the man, the woman, and the courtyard. He almost wish he could be there, feel what they felt, instead of this impending sense of doom weighing heavily on his chest. A single tear fell on the glass protecting the photograph.

    “Mom, Dad” He said in a chocked voice full of emotion, “I could have loved you both so much, had I just been given the chance.”



    Thoughts, anyone? Be harsh.

  2. #2
    BleedINink
    Guest
    Ok I know I am double posting but I was wondering if there were no comments, suggestions...anything??? I am desprate here! Please tell me how to make this better!

  3. #3
    lily_16_evans
    Guest
    I really liked this idea. And i think maybe you should try and expand it to make it a one shot? Beucase I really think others would like reading this.

    Loads of hugs
    lily

  4. #4
    BleedINink
    Guest
    Expand which part? The Harry Part or the Lily/James part? I was thing about incorpurating this into my Procrastinators challange... Good idea or bad one?

  5. #5
    Seventh Year Ravenclaw
    Attending a Deathday Party
    Gmariam's Avatar
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    May 2006
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    Hi,
    I think you might want to take this over to the Hospital Wing - Skele Gro, if you want to expand it, or EoM if you want some technical help. I'd be happy to take a look at it in in EoM. I'll just make a general comment or two here.
    I think the two sections fit together very nicely. The description was very nice in the first part. I would suggest adding to the second bit with Harry. I might also rework the final sentence, make it more hopeful, perhaps? And watch your punctuation and tenses - again, an EoM thing, I think.
    Good luck!
    ~Gina

  6. #6
    BleedINink
    Guest
    Ok Mods you can lock and grave this one. I moved it to EoM!

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