When I joined the Death Eaters they promised me glory. They promised me that I would take part in the cleansing of the world, obliterate all the Mudbloods, Muggles and Muggle-lovers dirtying it.
I joined; foolishly thinking that I would be treated as an equal, for was I not a pureblood, just like them? But then I learned who our Lord truly was. I learnt that the Dark Lord was just a half-blood. What did it matter that he claimed to have the blood of Salazar Slytherin in his veins? The Dark Lord was just a half-blood.
I had been shocked when I had made that discovery. I didn’t want to serve him anymore. My blood was purer than his, for I was a member of the House of Black! He should be serving me
! I could not leave the Dark Lord’s service, however much I desired to. There was only one way to leave the Death Eaters. That way was death.
I shook myself out of my reprieve, for the task at hand required concentration. My legs shook like jelly underneath me as I tailed the person I had been assigned to ‘eradicate’.
But could I really do it? For this was not just another Muggle to torture, this was more than mere grunt work.
I had been assigned to kill my own brother. Sirius Black.
As a child, I had always admired my older brother. He had seemed so strong, so brave; I had always felt safe in his company. Then he went to Hogwarts and became a Gryffindor, leaving mother and father wondering where they had gone wrong.
And now I had to kill him. It would be by far simpler if I didn’t have these images
running through my mind.
Sirius, five years old. Giving me his ice-cream after I had dropped mine. Sirius, seven years old, defending me from my parents after I had wrecked some ‘precious heirloom’.
With these pictures running through my mind, it made me feel sick to my stomach to even think of killing him, like some animal. With a churning sea for a stomach, and spaghetti for legs, I sat down heavily before I could fall. I could not do this. I had gone too far.
It was time to hand in my resignation to the Death Eaters. I hoped that with my death, I would receive the glory that was promised to me, the glory that I had been denied for so long.
I would finally receive my glory.