Narcissa Malfoy (née Black)

[LittleBlackLioness]

I've started a story about Narcissia Black's years at Hogwarts, and i wanted to make syre she was well chacterized. The first chapter is finished (not in queue yet, though). So I thought I'd give you an example of how I've chacterized her and you can tell me what you think.

Example:

“No, I don’t think so.” Narcissia felt slightly let down. “My parents are both Moogles, so I doubt anyone in my family wrote a book concerning anything that has to do with magic.”

“What?”

“She means Muggles. Her parents are Muggles, not Moogles, whatever those are.”

“So you’re a Mudblood!?!”

“Watch your mouth!” Elle snapped.

"I can’t talk to you.” Narcissia practically sprinted away from the compartment. Her parents had been painfully clear that she was not to associate with anyone less than half blood.

“Elle,” Lily asked as they watched the blonde run down the train car, “What’s a Mudblood?”



Any imput is greatly aprriciated.
Also, does anyone think it's out of canon for me to have Narcissia start Hogwarts at the same time as Sirius? I looked on the Black Family Tree, but Surius was, of course, removed.

Edit- Thanks for all your help, first chapter is now posted!

[Dumbledore Prince]

Note to the mod: I double-checked for older Narcissa threads and couldn't find any.

I know that the purpose of your excerpt is to get feedback on characterisation, but it's a little hard to say whether you've got it right or not, because we don't see too much of Narcissa. Yes, she is a Black, and therefore she is expected to liaise with pure-bloods alone, but I think she's too subtle to use the word "Mudblood" rather openly. Perhaps she was not so cautious when she was young (compare Draco's behaviour at Madam Malkin's with Narcissa's), but she does have basic knowledge of what is considered highly offensive and cannot be used casually.

Basically, she needs to be a little more subtle in the excerpt.

[midnight_me]

“So you’re a Mudblood!?!”

I agree with Dumbledore Prince, Narcissa needs to be more subtle.

From what I've seen, Narcissa isn't really the type to call people Mudbloods, especially at that young of an age. Instead, I think she would be more likely to give a Muggleborn a nasty look. She was probably a snob and thought she was better than everyone with lower blood status when she was at Hogwarts (and out of Hogwarts, for that matter).

Also remember that the Excerpts of Murtlap forum is available, if you haven't posted there already.

Also, does anyone think it's out of canon for me to have Narcissia start Hogwarts at the same time as Sirius?

Narcissa was born in 1955 and Sirius was born in 1959 or 1960, so it would be un-canon to have them in the same year. However, Narcissa would be at Hogwarts with Sirius, just a few years ahead of him.

Narcissa is a challenge to write, but I think with some practice you'll be able to write a very believable Narcissa. Good luck!

[remus_rocks]

I believe Sirius once said that, 'most Black's thought themselves royalty.' Or something along those lines. This is how I perceive Narcissa - someone who thinks very highly of themselves.

I would also use what we have seen from Lucius Malfoy as building blocks for her attitude. The way she talks about him, I could see her as perhaps in love with him. Or in love with his image. Either way, she seems to think he is doing things very right, and would probably strive to be like him (with the exception of becoming a DE). Use the adult Narcissa as a draft for your child Narcissa because she does grow to become her, no matter how you make her act in your story.

[crazy_purple_hp_freak]

When we first meet Narcissa properly in canon (GOF at the Quidditch World Cup) Harry describes her as being quite nice looking, if she hadn't had a look on her face as if there was a nasty smell under her nose.

I agree with the others, that Narcissa is probably, even at a young age, more subtle than to use 'Mudblood' openly. Rather, you could possibly describe her as 'nice looking', maybe even friendly to start off with. However on learning that Lily is Muggleborn, she would probably become instantly slightly 'colder' in her manner, with the characteristic sneer beginning to play on her face. She might also make a feeble excuse and walk away from Lily, never to approach her again.

In the scene here, I don't know whether Narcissa is with any of her fellow Slytherins. She strikes me as the type who would be 'nastier' to others if she were in a group of people. Therefore, once at Hogwarts, and safe amongst her group of Slytherin friends, she might be more content to bully Lily more and call her 'Mudblood' more openly.

[MorganRay]

Jo has always suggested that Narcissa is a bit more clever than we, the readers, may suppose. She confinced Lucius to sent Draco to Hogwarts. Now, how many people convince Lucius of anything? She also got Snape to do that Unbreakable Vow, which demonstrated that she orchestrated the entire trip to Spinner's End to get to that part. The woman is not dumb, and I don't think she's socially inept, either. She would probably not spit out 'Mudblood' on the train at first. She may have gotten that look on her face like there was something rotting under her nose, turned in the other direction, and said something slightly rude while leaving the compartment, but I doubt she would have exclaimed the word 'Mudblood.' I don't see her exclaiming anything, actually. I think she would show the surprise, but then regain her composure.

[Ithinkrabis2people]

Question for a fic I'm writing.

If Narcissa found herself (and Draco, possibly Snape as well) on the run from the Death Eaters and in need of a place to go, is it unfeasable that she would go to her sister, Andromeda? As a last resort? If she knew they would be killed if they stayed put?

This won't come up for another few chapters, but I thought I'd best give myself time to plan!

[Celestial Melody]

Dear Ithinkrabis2people,

I haven't been active in the Hospital Wing for awhile, but this caught my eye. I just finished reading HBP (again) today and was reminded of Narcissa's deep love for her son, Draco. (<-- Well, obviously, you know who her son was, but anyway... ) When Narcissa is convinving Snape to perform the Unbreakable Vow, the manner in which she campagins for the protection of her son is quite touching and shows a mother who not only loves her son, she's besotted with him.

Imagine living, if you will, with Lucius Malfoy (who I love, but no matter) for ... quite a while. Admittedly, the marriage wasn't completely awful to Narcissa. She met Lucius in school, I believe, and was in a similar circle though that's understood conjecture by fandom writers. Anyway, my point is that living with such a man would make her son all the more valuable to her. Now, also in the beginning of HBP, Narcissa defends her husband. I don't believe she hates or even dislikes her husband, but because of his Death Eater activities, he would be gone, often, and she'd need someone of her 'caliber' to be with at the Manor. That person is Draco.

Mothers form VERY strong attachments to their children. Chemicals and all that. However, because of her loneliness (IMO) Narcissa placed more than the usual attention on Draco. Because of this, she is over-protective of Draco (dragging him all over Diagon Alley), and indulges him (Madame Malkin's) when he's unhappy.

All this evidence, IMO, does indicate, indeed, that Narcissa would (if it saved her son) go to her sister's. For herself, alone? I believe, No. As we have seen in the books, Narcissa's reason for living is for her son and husband... especially her son. But if it was she, alone, hurt and in danger of death, I believe she would rather choose death than rely on the sympathies of her 'blood-traitor' sister. Do not forget her attitude in Madame Malkin's. Narcissa relies on tradition to get her through life and, I belive, that when her sister married Ted Tonks, she wrote her (Andromeda) off as a lost cause and obeyed the custom of her family: shunning the traitor. But, again, this is only if Narcissa is by herself.

I suppose what I'm trying to say (in a very roundabout way supported by tons of evidence *giggles*) is that, yes, I believe if Narcissa were with Draco, she'd go to Andromeda's to save her precious little boy. With Snape? I don't know; does your fic take place after the Vow? If so, yes, I belive she would save him. But it would be for her son; not for Snape. Unless you've involved the pair romantically. There was a hint of that in the beginning of HBP, and I'm sure it would work whatever way you decide to go. (*gigglesnort* Alliteration, much?)

Anyway, hope I helped and if you've any questions, feel free to refute/argue/whatever my thoughts.

~Julia~

[MorganRay]

Personally, canon pretty much clarifies that Narcissa would do anything for her son.

Did she have problems having children? Did Lucius only want one son? Did Narcissa loose another child, therefore making her more attached to Draco? There are many reasons why Narcissa may be over attached to Draco, and one of them just may be her own lonliness while Draco is growing up. What we do know is that 1) her closest sister is in prison, 2) her husband can't be home a lot with his job and Death Eater work, and 3) because Narcissa relied on tradition and her blood pride to get her through life, she probably does not have contact with Andromeda. Also, Andromeda might be dead, but we don't know this for sure, either. Also, if Lucius has any family, they haven't shown up in the books to our knowledge. Besides her sisters, the remainder of the Black family is either dead or not on speaking terms with Narcissa. Therefore, she would be quite lonely, and the only person she would be able to dote on is Draco.

Personally, I think Andromeda is dead. If she's not, her and Narcissa and probably not on speaking terms. The one problem I forsee if Narcissa tried to run to Andromeda for Draco's sake is the issue of Bella following her. Bella does not understand Narcissa's need to protect Draco. We see this in HBP when Bella declares that Narcissa should be proud to sacrafice Draco to Voldamort's cause. Narcissa, while she holds the same values that Bella does, obviously puts Draco above herself and her own family values. To save herself, I don't think Narcissa would go to Andromeda, but to save Draco, yes, I think she would go. However, Bella might try to prevent this from happening since Bella would not understand going to a 'blood traitor' for ANY circumstance.

[nikkiolapotter]

Question: Would Narcissa seem like the type of mother who wouldn't want Draco to fight in the Final Battle for his own safety? It's for a fic I'm writing, and I wanted to clarify before I check my email and find a rejection letter, stating OOCness.