April Activities 2009

[GringottsVault711]

Another one of those ideas that was born as I opened the thread. That happens pretty much every month now.

So, this month I want you all to pick 4-8 award categories - you may use the QSQ categories as inspiration, or you may choose your own - and award them to authors or stories from the MNFF archives. Post them along with a link to the fic, and an explaination of why you chose this story/author for the award. The explaination should be along the lines of "SPEW-worthy", meaning I want to see some substantial reasoning. Pretend that you're fighting for it in front of an awards committee. It doesn't have to be long - one, two paragraphs should do it. But, it should be more than "BECAUSE IT'S MADE OF SEXY WIN!!!ELEVENTYONE."

Please use the following format for each "award"


Award:
Author/Story:
Link:
Reason:

BECAUSE IT'S MADE OF SEXY WIN!!!ELEVENTYONE.

Remember; at least four, no more than eight.

Posts should be made by April 30th.

[GringottsVault711]

The challenge for this month is

Write a drabble that splits up your favourite pairing.

What do you mean, evil?

Rules/Guidelines

• Drabble can be between 250-800 words. <---- AHEM.
  
• Content should not be any higher than a 3rd-5th Years rating.
  
• All content that would require a warning on the MNFF Archive should be labeled.
  
• This thread is for responses only. If you have a question, PM me.
  
• Responses must be posted by April 30th 2009.
  
• Please post using this format:
  
  Title: Sweetest Goodbye
  Word Count: 450 (This may be approximate)
  
  

  Story Text Story Text Story Text Story Text Story Text Story Text Story Text

• As with all activities within the SPEW forum, this challenge is open only to SPEW members.

[Indigoenigma]

Title: Full-Time Friend
Word Count: 718 <---

Extra explanation: Ron and Hermione is not, per se, my favorite pairing in the HP universe. However, they are my favorite canon couple and any time that they fought was painful for me. Essentially, I sympathize for them a lot more than any other couple and I would feel the worst if they were the ones who broke up. Hence, my drabble.

Full-Time Friend

The first thing that Ron noticed was that Hermione wasn’t at her usual place at the breakfast table.

She usually was at the bench, studying ages before he and Harry managed to tumble out of bed and eat before classes began. But today she was missing, mysteriously absent.

The second thing that Ron noticed was that there was an owl, a Hogwarts owl, glaring impatiently at him over his toast.

Making haste to placate the owl, Ron took the proffered note and accepted the small peck on the finger that it doled out as a punishment for keeping it waiting. He watched it fly back to join the others before looking down at the small letter.

Who on earth would have sent him a letter from a Hogwarts owl? Ron was baffled by who it might have been from or what it might be about. He examined it closely, but could discern nothing from the handwriting, as his name was printed in large and blockish letters across the front. They gave away nothing except for the fact that the person who wrote them knew how to draw a straight line.

“What’s that?” Harry asked, looking blearily up from his porridge.

“This? Oh, nothing.” Ron hastily shoved the letter into his pocket. Whatever the mystery was, it could wait until he was alone.

--

It wasn’t until after dinner, when Ron was searching desperately for a spare bit of parchment on which to finish his homework, did he remember the note.

He was alone in the library; Harry had gone off to bed early (or was going to go spend time with Ginny, Ron figured resignedly) and Hermione was oddly not with him. He knew that she was feeling well – she’d been in class today – but he hadn’t been able to find her after class.

And she hadn’t come down to dinner with him either.

Was she avoiding him?

Not Hermione, no. If she had any reason to avoid him, she’d tell him so that he could fix whatever was wrong.

Ron didn’t know quite what to make of her behavior – perhaps it was a female thing - but he shrugged and unfolded the note.

It was short and written in a script that was achingly familiar to Ron – Hermione’s writing.

Dear Ron, he read.

Dear Ron,

I don’t know how to put this into words, which is why it’s in a letter. Even though we’re the best of friends, I think that’s all that we can ever be. These last few weeks of dating you have been wonderful and yet unnatural. It’s like dating a brother and I’m afraid that I’m uncomfortable with such a scenario. Please don’t be angry with me; I wanted our relationship more than anyone but I’m afraid that I really can’t go through with it. I’m horribly sorry for the pain that I know that you’ll feel and I hope that we can walk away from this as close as we were before. I cherish our friendship and I hope that you still do as well.

Affectionately,
Hermione

What?

Ron couldn’t breath. She was breaking up with him? With a letter? She couldn’t tell him herself? His brain felt as though it had been pulverized by something heavy and his thoughts churned sluggishly.

What was she doing?

Ron slowly became aware that he had nearly crushed the note in his clenched fist. Carefully, he smoothed it out and looked at the words again, feeling his eyes burn in pain.

And she still wanted to be friends; that was the clincher. After all that she couldn’t say to him and had to put into a letter, she still wanted to be friends. Impossible. That wasn’t how things worked. Never.

Ron closed his eyes, but he still couldn’t escape the words on the page. They were seared into his brain.

I cherish our friendship…

Damn it, Ron still valued it, too. After such a despicable act, he, against his very will, still craved her friendship. He hated how she had this much power over him.

Ron sighed and leaned back in his chair. If only they could be both – lovers and friends. Then the world might be perfect.

For now, he supposed that he would have to settle for merely being a friend.

[jenny b]

Title: Sixteen
Word Count: 743 (Win!)
Warnings: Teenage pregnancy

‘Scorpius.’

‘No.’

A tear spills over her cheek. He remains immobile, staring out over the lake. His fists are clenched so tightly by his sides that his knuckles have turned white. She reaches out now, gently stroking the back of one of his hands.

‘I love you.’

Even this doesn’t provoke a reaction in him, and more tears streak down her face despite her efforts to stop them. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. He loved her. This shouldn’t change anything, not now … he wouldn’t leave her. He couldn’t.

‘I want to keep the baby, Scorpius.’

‘No.’

It hurts so much. It feels like someone is tearing at her insides, like her heart is being pulled to pieces. She instinctively places a hand over her still flat stomach, trying to reassure the unborn child. Shh. You’re safe.

He turns, finally looking at her. His face is pale, paler than usual. His grey eyes bore into hers, and for a moment it looks as if he’ll cry, too. She can’t help the tears anymore; they stream freely down her face. She knows she must look a mess, but it doesn’t matter. He always called her beautiful.

‘We can’t keep it, Rose.’

Him calling her Rose instead of the usual Rosie makes her start; it sounds unnatural. He hadn’t called her Rose since the sixth grade. Everyone else still called her by her proper name, but not Scorpius. With him, she was always Rosie. Beautiful, loved Rosie.

And now it was back to Rose, with matted hair and a tear-stained face, carrying their six-week old child. It was amazing how quickly everything had changed, how two little words could turn her boyfriend into a cold, uncaring monster.

‘Yes, we can. Scorpius. Please.’

It comes out as little more than a whisper, her voice choked with sobs, but his expression remains the same. He doesn’t care, she realises. Another jagged knife rips through her heart.

‘We can’t!’ He jumps to his feet, glaring at her. ‘Merlin, Rose, what is your problem? Our parents don’t even know we’ve been dating. You know full well that mine would kick me out of home if they knew about us, and if they find out I’ve got you pregnant …’ He stops and kicks at a nearby rock. ‘Rose, we won’t have any money. They’d cut me off.’

‘My parents …’

‘Your parents will probably tell you the same thing I am, once your father has hunted me down. You can’t keep it, Rose. They won’t let you. You’re not even of age. You’re sixteen. How are you going to finish school? A baby will ruin your life. You have dreams. You don’t want to be a teenage mother.’

She rises now too, sadness giving way to anger as she puts her hands on her hips. ‘Don’t tell me what I do and don’t want, Scorpius. Yes, I have dreams. A baby isn’t going to stop them. I’m keeping it, whether you’re with me or not.’

There. She said it. Dread rushes through her from head to toe as he stops, looking at her. Thinking it over. Everything is perfectly still; even the breeze seems to have stopped, waiting for his answer. The answer that will change both their lives.

He shakes his head. Breaks her heart.

‘I can’t do it.’

She turns to go. She can do this; she can walk away without a single glance back. They have made their decisions, and those decisions mean they can’t be together. Again, she places a hand over her stomach – she still has their baby. She still has a piece of him, however small.

‘Rose.’

She turns back, not wanting to hope. His face has crumpled; he looks like he wants to cry. Maybe their baby will have eyes like him.

‘Don’t … could you … please don’t tell anyone it’s mine.’

This stings more than anything. She is going to have his baby, love and cherish it, and yet it will never know it’s father. People will whisper behind her back, shun her when she will not tell them who fathered her child. It will cause so much more hurt than this was already going to.

She studies his face carefully. His eyes are begging, pleading with her to grant him this one wish, despite the burden he’s just placed on her.

A nod. ‘Okay.’

She’ll do it. Because it’s him. And for him, she would do anything.

[dory_the_fishie]

Title: Hide-and-Seek
Word Count: 794 (it's below 800!)

“You know, we’re not really following the rules.”

“The rules don’t explicitly forbid this.”

“It’s implied.”

“Implications can be tricky.”

“Apparently.”

Lily gives Sirius a smirk as she readjusts her sitting position on the floor of the Potter Mansion library. They are hiding from James in a game of hide-and-seek. It is the Easter holidays, and the two of them, plus Remus and Peter, are guests at the Potters’ home. The game has just started, and Sirius and Lily have both sought refuge in the library.

“Do you think he’ll find us here?” asks Lily in a whisper.

“It’s hard to say,” answers Sirius, leaning against a bookshelf and stretching out his legs. “Either he won’t look here because it’s too obvious, or he’ll look here first for the same reason.”

“Hm,” is Lily’s only response. She is sitting cross-legged across the aisle from Sirius, her eyes now fixed on the shelves of books above his head.

“What section are we in?” Sirius asks.

“Classics, I think,” says Lily. She tilts her head up even further. “This library is massive.”

“Yeah, the Potters really enjoy their literature,” agrees Sirius, also gazing up at the hundreds of books around them. “So, Classics, eh? I suppose it could be worse. We could be in poetry.” He makes a face that Lily doesn’t see, for she is still taking in their surroundings.

There is a pause. Lily finally returns her gaze to Sirius, who suddenly realizes just how beautiful Lily Evans is.

But then he realizes that he shouldn’t be thinking that. He and Lily have become friends in the past few months, but she is still James’s girlfriend. She is still not his to be admired.

The sound of one of the library doors being opened causes Lily’s eyes to widen slightly. Sirius gets up into a crouch and moves over to Lily’s side of the aisle. He makes his way to the end and peers around the shelf. James is walking towards where Sirius and Lily are hiding.

Thinking quickly, Sirius moves back to Lily and motions for her to move to the other end of the aisle.

“Where is he?” Lily whispers.

“He’s coming our way,” answers Sirius urgently. “Follow me.” He takes her hand to lead her to a new hiding spot.

The two of them, hands clasped in a bond of escape and excitement, abandon their place in Classics as quickly as they can without alerting James of their position. Sirius hardly has time to think, his mind set on the direness that only a childhood game can cause, but he can’t help noticing that Lily’s hand seems to fit perfectly in his.

And then her hand is gone. They have found their new hiding place, and Sirius can only laugh at what it is.

“Poetry,” he groans softly, sinking down onto the floor.

Lily joins him, this time sitting next to him rather than on the other side of the aisle. She turns her head towards him and smiles.

Sirius meets her gaze, but keeps his face solemn. “Now don’t get too comfortable. This may only be a temporary solution,” he says, and despite his best efforts, Lily catches his mocking and only smiles even wider.

They stay that way for a few moments, Lily smiling and Sirius pretending to be serious. What happens next surprises them both.

Their lips meet in a kiss that is at once strange and exhilarating. Neither of them is sure who initiated the kiss, and neither of them cares. They part almost immediately, and in that fraction of a second, with their faces so close and their breaths caught somewhere back in Classics, they know that this strangeness is also exactly right.

Without hesitating, they are locked in a battle of passions, hands in hair and lips on skin and cautions thrust aside. They forget about where they are, who is searching for them, what will happen if they are caught –

“I can’t believe you,” comes a voice from somewhere above them, and suddenly Sirius and Lily remember.

They spring apart instantly, scrambling to their feet and standing in what they both contend must be the most awkward of silences ever endured. James completes the triangle, and the expression on his face breaks both their hearts. He stares at his best friend and his girlfriend, so obviously hurt and so clearly shattered that Sirius for once wishes they were not friends, because then the pain would not be so deep.

Sirius is about to speak, try to explain even though he can’t, but he is stopped as James says, “Fine,” in a voice that cracks almost inaudibly but still echoes amongst the books of poetry.

James walks away, then, leaving Sirius and Lily alone.

[ms. leading]

Paring: Lily/Scorpius
Title: Hold Me Down*
Word Count: 598
Warnings: Hints of Mental Disorders (depression)

Your hand is cold in mine as we walk up the stone path that sits between the rows of blooming tulips and sunflowers. I see you staring down at the colours, petals as bright as they will ever be this year.

You like to garden, perhaps more than anything else; these flowers are your creations and I can’t help but fear the thought of letting them go.

You sigh quietly as we reach the large green door that is the entrance to the house we’ve shared for over a year now – it’s as if you know exactly what’s coming.

I sense the reluctance as you pull your hand from mine and use it to slide the brass key into its home, and allow us into ours. I faintly hear you mention coffee as we enter the kitchen together and I sit down at the table.

From the corner of my eye I see you pulling mugs from the shelf and hear you making an unnecessary racket while you work as if to distract yourself from your thoughts. I drum my fingers on the table, in apprehension rather than impatience.

You wear a blue and white plaid dress that fans out at the hips and does little to accentuate any potential curves. You are slim and fragile; I am terrified to break you.

You cross the room with a mug in your hand and settle it down in front of me loudly. The features of your face seem contorted, anguished. I want to wrap you in my arms and never let go. But I must.

Now twenty-three, I can recall being twelve and sharing a conversation with my mother about you and your family. Don’t ever fall in love that Potter girl, darling, she had said light-heartedly. It’d do your father a great deal of discomfort.

Well, I reflect now, it certainly had. But why had nobody ever warned me of the discomfort it would cause me?

You are tired and withdrawn, restless and uncomfortable with who you are. Even now, as you sit before me at the table, you squirm as if you ache to be out of your own skin. Your bones protrude as if they have the same idea.

‘Mark and Leah are fun, aren’t they?’ I ask you, bringing up the couple we had just had dinner with, and it’s my last attempt to allow you to prove yourself to me.

But you don’t speak; you murmur and vaguely nod. I immediately want to shake you, to awaken you and scream, Fight for this! I don’t, however, because you won’t.

I can remember falling in love with you because you were exciting and fresh, and you smiled whenever you saw me because that was how you were. I long to make you smile again, but I have also given up.

‘I –’ I begin, and my throat catches before I can finish. I clear it. ‘I’m leaving, Lily.’

Your eyes meet mine and then you dissolve before me. Your body crumples, and you draw your hands from the table and hug then tightly to your chest. You are breaking, and I scramble to put you back together, standing up and sweeping over to you.

I pull you up to meet me. ‘Don’t cry,’ I order, because of the tears building in your sorry eyes.

‘Don’t leave,’ you sob. So I don’t – not tonight – for your sake.

Tonight I wrap you in my embrace and repair some of what I have done, knowing that tomorrow I’ll have to unravel it all again. For my own sake.

* title is a Motion City Soundtrack song.

~ Cassie

[fg_weasley]

Title: Man Overboard*
Word Count: 782 (not counting the lyrics)
A/N: Meh. I'm not entirely sure if I like it or not, but here it is. Oh, and there's mild language for the song lyrics (just once).

So sorry it’s over ...

“Mmmm.” Sirius breathed in deeply, burying his nose into her hair as she lay against him. He felt her smile on his skin and then Lily began to draw circles on his bare chest. Her steady breathing against his nipples made his spine ripple, and Sirius let out a garbled moan. “Uuungh.”

“Pardon?” Lily asked with a slight laugh, her grin widening as she traced a line with her index finger down to his navel.

“Damn, Evans, you bloody tease,” Sirius growled. He covered her hand with his and pressed it against his body. It was silent for a moment, save for the sounds of their labored breathing, and then Lily spoke into the still air.

“Have you told James yet?”

Sirius’ chest stilled for a split second as he felt the tension in the air thicken, the atmosphere changing like falling sand. Feigning innocence, he asked, “Told Prongs what?” He continued to stare at the wall of the passage they were in, refusing to turn toward her and see her face, look into those beautiful eyes.

Let’s take some time to talk this over
You’re out of line and rarely sober
We can’t depend on your excuses
‘Cause in the end its f*cking useless

“Don’t give me that, Black; you know what,” Lily replied, her tone changing. Sirius’ hand had loosened over hers, and she pulled it out to place on his upturned cheek. “About us. About this. You and me.” She paused, letting her hand slip down his neck to rest on his collar bone. Her tone dropped an octave as she asked, “Or are you ever planning on telling him?”

Sirius stiffened, his body going cold at her words, and he could tell Lily felt the difference. “It’s not the right time yet,” he told the wall.

Huffing, Lily clenched her hand on his chest, scratching him slightly. “Oh please,” she scoffed, the words carrying a new note of bitterness. He felt her body weight leave him and knew she had sat up and turned away from him. “You keep using that excuse, Sirius, and I’m getting sick of hearing it. He’ll need to know eventually, and you’re doing him just as great an injustice by not telling him, by doing this behind his back. He should know. You’re not being fair to him, to me … to yourself.” She was gaining momentum now, and Sirius felt her body leave its spot beside his as she stood and continued speaking. “Do I mean so little to you that you don’t want anyone to know? That you can’t … you can’t even look at me right now?” Her voice caught on the last words, and Sirius felt the hurt in them stab at his skin like a blunt knife.

Finally sitting up, he shook the hair out of his eyes so that he could properly look up at Lily, the green of her eyes betraying the passion within her. “You know that’s not it, Lily, you know I care about you.” Swearing under his breath, Sirius ran a hand through his long hair. “Damn it, why do you have to keep bringing this up and ruining the good moment? Why can’t you just let things be the way they are? We’re doing just fine as it is, why do we need to ruin what we’ve got?”

You can only lean on me for so long
Bring the ship about to watch a friend drown
Sit out on the ledge, begged you to come down
You can only lean on my for so long

Lily visibly bristled at his words, and when she spoke, her tone was like a poison lacing its way through his veins. “Sirius Black, you are a coward. We haven’t got anything for me to ruin because you’re not willing to make it into something.”

At this, Sirius could feel his own temper rising as well. Standing now, he had to work to keep his tone even. “Don’t you call me a coward, Evans. He’s my best friend, I can’t … I can’t do that to him. I thought you understood that when we started all this.”

It was silent for a moment as they stared at each other, the fire between them nearly tangible. “What I thought I understood was that you and I both wanted the same thing, but apparently I was wrong. If you’re not willing to make this real, Sirius, then I’m through with it.” Lily’s eyes were moving rapidly back and forth, searching his for something that wasn’t there. When he said nothing more, she turned on her heel to leave.

There’s so much more that I wanted and
(So sorry it’s over)
There’s so much more that I needed and
(So sorry it’s over)
Time keeps movin’ on and on and on
Soon we’ll all be gone

“Lily, wait, don’t—” But it was too late, she had already gone. Sirius swore colorfully and then turned and punched the wall with a fist, something he regretted doing as soon as he had. His hand began to throb painfully and he swore again. He couldn’t believe his own stupidity. For once, he had been happy, yet he had just let that happiness walk out and leave him alone, alone again.

Always alone.

So sorry it’s over ...*

*title and lyrics belong to Blink-182

[cirelondiel]

Title: Too late...
Word count: 311
Dennis Creevey/Gabrielle Delacour

You’ve been married three years. You were young and in love and it was a gorgeous garden wedding, and everything was perfect (just floating along as if in a dream…)

You used to go for walks down the beach, hands entwined. You used to kiss in the rain when she dashed out of the house to meet you after work. You used to lie on the grass together gazing at twinkling stars (but you were always distracted by her silvery hair shimmering in the moonlight).

Everything used to be blissful; everything used to be perfect.

Three years of marriage, starting three months after you met.

(Isn’t it too soon? No, it’s not, I love her and it’ll be perfect…)

The days and months rolled by, but you never really noticed because your mind was filled with her.

A little house, a little garden, little kisses and cuddles and your little hope for a baby.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect…

Stop. Fast-forward.

“Dennis, I ‘ave to go.”

You hear the words over and over. They taunt you, torture you. What? Why?

“I don’t belong ‘ere, I can’t stay ‘ere. I am French, Dennis, and I need my family and my language and myself. I can’t stay in Britain, and you can’t leave.”

She’s right, you can’t leave, you are a part of this place and it is a part of you. You can’t leave the land where your brother’s body is buried, where your father lives alone now that his wife and one son are gone and his other son is his only visitor, where you bought this cottage and planned out your future with her.

What do you do when two people belong together, but belong in different places?

Too late, you were too slow, she’s made the decision. She slams the door, and you watch from the window as your love disappears.

[A.H.]

Title: What's Best For Others
Word Count: 800.
A/N: Okay, so... This drabble doesn't technically have the "breaking up" scene, but, though the ending has a certain amount of ambiguity, I tried to make it clear that that's what they planned on doing. The 'why,' too, isn't explained, but should be obvious (unless I'm completely pathetic ). I've been slinking into fluff these days (thank you Jen ) and I couldn't help myself.

Oh, and, it was originally an idea for a songfic to The Great Escape by Boys Like Girls, but I couldn't seem to get the lyrics in there at any point that made sense without elaborating a lot of the scenes... and then I would've gone over 800, and I wouldn't have been able to use it. So, if anyone knows the song...

Lily Evans sat wringing her hands and looking around her bedroom as if she expected something to come blasting through the wall. There was a letter sitting beside her on her bed that had come in the morning, and since then had been read so many times it looked as aged as one of her second-hand school books.

Lily,

Meet me tonight at our spot on the hill. I'll be waiting for you at eleven-o-clock.

Yours sincerely,
Sirius

It was only the second day of the summer holidays; Lily hadn't expected to hear from anyone for at least a few weeks. She looked at the clock on the wall: ten thirty. If she was going to go she had to leave now, lest he think she wasn't coming.

Her stomach turned with nerves as she got up from her bed and began taking her pajamas off; her parent's had gone to bed several hours ago, and she had lain down obediently when they had come to tell her goodnight. As she riffled through her drawers a creeping feeling of guilt snuck up on her: She had never been the type of girl to sneak out or lie to her parents. But Sirius was waiting not far away…

Ten-forty-five. Lily was dressed again and opening her window, considering the landing. It wasn't that far of a jump from the tree that hung over her window. With an overwhelming feeling of freedom, Lily climbed out of her window and onto the tree branch, a smile taking its place on her face as she made her slow way down the tree and landed on the ground with a soft thump.

The night air was warm on her skin as Lily slinked through the dark neighborhood, avoiding the accusing stares that the houses seemed to throw at her. As she walked she remembered the first time she had met Sirius on the hilltop.

James had been with him, as always; Lily couldn't have been more surprised when the roaring sound of a motorbike was hovering outside of her window. Together, Sirius and James had convinced her to sneak out and squeeze between them on the bike for a midnight ride over London. It had been terrifying—and James hadn't lost the chance to hit on her, as if the entire school year hadn't been enough of a chance—but as the night wore on and they landed on a small hill not far from Lily's house, she began to get to know the two of them in one night better than the entire five years prior.

Lily's sixth year had been more eventful than any year previous. Her smile widened uncontrollably as she remembered she and Sirius' night spent on the Astronomy Tower, exploring each other further than anyone ever before. When it was just the two of them, Sirius seemed to be a different person completely—not that Lily didn't like who he was around others.

As she neared the hill she could see the silhouette of a young man sitting beside a large bike, plucking grass out of the ground with his back turned on her. She smiled wickedly as she quieted her footsteps and slipped into the shadows cast by trees. Once she was right behind him, she held her hands up and…

"Lily, how good of you to come!"

Lily screamed, her hand going over her chest in shock as Sirius, in one swift movement, had turned and tackled her to the ground before she'd gotten her chance to jump. Once the shock wore off she was laughing louder and harder than Sirius himself, who seemed quite pleased with his espionage.

"Sirius, you're awful!" Lily said through gasping breaths of laughter. He was now laying resolutely on top of her, his hands, bracing the ground so that his full weight wasn't crushing her.

"I? I? I'm awful! Why, you're the one who attempted to sneak up on me!" His indignant tone didn't trick Lily for a moment. She playfully pushed him off of her and crossed her arms, looking away from him with a mock-angry expression playing along the features of her face.

"I don't understand how you could think such a thing of me," she said, fighting off the smile. Sirius picked her up from the ground and sat her in his lap.

"I would never. Forgive me, love?"

She smiled. "Forgiven."

It was nearing two in the morning when Lily, gazing at the stars, turned to Sirius.

"We should talk about it," she said softly.

Sirius looked over at her, his previously smiling eyes falling downcast. "Yeah, I guess so."

Lily, with a sorrow unmatched by anything she'd ever felt, pecked Sirius on the cheek and said, "We have to either tell him or…"

"I know… I know."

[Hermoine Jean Granger]

Title: Of Choices
Word Count: 623
A/N: Remus/Tonks.

You walk away, each step taking the effort of overcoming lead weights that seem to be gluing your legs to the cold, hard floor. You refuse to look up or look back; you do not have the courage to. Wrenching your mind from any second thoughts, you walk on—without a destination, uncertain about your very next step.

Quiet sobs are heard; they pierce the silence with the sharpness of a sword. It takes all your will-power to stop yourself from turning back, to go back to the safe haven that you chose to leave behind. It is necessary. A tiny flicker of hope arises; you hope you will hear your name. Your name from those luscious lips which are so talented in breaking every possible defense you have. The thought is suppressed as quickly as it was evoked, and the name doesn’t float through the stagnant air. You continue walking.

A sudden obstacle is encountered, but it is merely a door. Mechanically, you open it, and without a second thought, Disapparate. You need time to think; to get over it. As the crushing sense of Apparation envelops you, you hear the ghost of a voice. “Remus—“

It is too late. The momentary pain during the process dissipates as you pirouette into an unknown location; a location you don’t care about. But the voice does not. The sad, anxious voice—the voice that you’d probably stolen, fills your mind, refusing to let go. And then the memories flash back. Slowly, in order.

“I’m pregnant, Remus,” she says, in her usual excited voice. Glee is written all over; she does not particularly care for much else. You do.

You know not how to respond, you involuntarily react. A moment of joy at the thought of being a father, at the thought of progeny. It is then that realisation hits, and the curse that’s lived so long comes to haunt you back. You shudder in fear, eliciting a confused look.

“What’s wrong, dear?” she asks again. You don’t know how to explain; you’re just crushed under a heavy sense of guilt. You’re unable to look into her eyes, so you look at your pale yellowed fingers, trying to respond. A split second decision is taken—you can’t really allow them to suffer for your mistakes.

“We can’t keep the child. It will be like me.” Two short sentences spew out from your mouth; you hope that she’s able to fill in the rest. Slowly, you look up. It is at first a confused look—as if she were trying to figure out what the joke was. It takes a moment for her to realise there is none, and then her buoyant personality changes to one of sadness, of sorrow.

“Why not, Remus?” Her small fingers involuntarily caress her stomach, as though joyous at the thought of a little being inside. Only you know the beast that it would become, and you will prevent that, by all means.

“Dora, no. It cannot live.” It takes your entire will power to utter that out loudly. A pang of pain injures your heart, but you convince yourself you’ve faced more. And you didn’t want them to face it as well.

“It will, Remus, it will.” A small streak of defiant red colours her hair, and you’re left with no choice. You must leave; you cannot bear the thought of the responsibility of having caused two deaths. Deaths of dear ones. And then you walk.

The harsh sunlight hits you at an angle, and you bring your hand up to your face. Now, all that mattered was the mechanism, the overall control within had died. Just automated responses to external stimuli, until the moment the battery runs out.