“Once upon a time there was a little girl, with hair as
red as…”
“Tomato
sauce?”
“Well, yes, but, no, um… with hair as red as the sunrise.”
“The sunrise is orange.”
“Sometimes it’s pink.”
“Pink hair! Pink hair!”
“Fred! George!”
“Sorry dad.”
“Okay, once upon a time there was a little girl, with hair as red as the sunrise and she lived in a beautiful house with her mummy, her daddy, and her brothers; William, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George and Ronald.”
“Why does Fred come before George?”
“Because I’m better than you.”
“Are not! Dad, why does…?”
“Fred was born first.”
“No he wasn’t!”
“Can we
please just get on with the story? Good. So, the little girl with hair as red as the sunrise was happy to live with her family and her family was happy to live with her; she was the perfect little
angel.”
“No she isn’t.”
“Yeah, Ginny’s a right pain in the…”
“FRED!”
“Daaad, Fred knocked the flower pot over in the garden!”
“Ginny!”
“Tattle Tale!”
“I did
not!”
“Will you all be
SILENT! I am telling a story! Good. Now… where’s Percy?”
“
You’re the one telling the story!”
“
This isn’t part of the story.”
“But you said you were telling the story!”
“I was, but then I noticed your brother was missing, now where is he?”
“Which one?”
“Ginny; don’t be smart.”
“But you always tell us to be smart.”
“Merlin give me strength.
PERCY!”
“Yeah dad?”
“Where have you…?”
“Dropped my
pencil.”
“Why do you have a pencil?”
“I was taking notes.”
“Right, right. Of course you were.”
“Dad?”
“Yep?”
“Can we get on with the story now?”
“Yes Ron; we can. So, one day the little girl with hair as red as the sunrise was kidnapped by an evil muggle and left in a tall tower by the sea.”
“I get to go to the
beach?”
“No; you’re locked in a tower.”
“But I’m at the beach?”
“No… well, yes, but you’re locked in the tower: you’re sad!”
“I don’t want to be sad.”
“Well, tough! You. Are. Sad.”
“Daaaad, omvvvvv you made Ginny cry.”
“Oh, shoot, Ginny dear: don’t cry, come here… Um… you get rescued!”
“I do?”
“Yes, um… Percy help me out here…”
“A big dragon comes and EATS YOU!”
“I said Percy not
Ron!”
“But I want to get eaten by a dragon; that’s cool!”
“You don’t want to be eaten by a dragon Ginny.”
“But Charlie promised he’d feed me to one!”
“I… I…”
“What happens to Ginny if she isn’t eaten by a dragon?”
“She’s… um… um…”
“Dad, this isn’t a very good story.”
“Where’s mum?”
“At Aunt Murial’s helping make
Origami swans for Cousin Richard's wedding.”
“Who’s cousin Richard?”
“I don’t know, a cousin, called Richard, who we love very much.”
“But we don’t know him?”
“Um, no?”
“Is the story finished?”
“Yes.”
“What happened?”
“I locked you all in the tall tower by the sea and threw away the key.”
“I’m telling mum!”