If Hogwarts Was Called Catsores... [E-Journal of an Evil Janitor]
In chapter three of "The E-Journal of An Evil Janitor," Voldemort arrives at Hogwarts to find that Mr. Filch (now "The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom") has made some creative changes to the school. It is now called Catsores, and everything is cat related.
So if everything in the school was cat-related (and keep in mind that you need not limit yourself to domestic cats; tigers, pumas, wildcats, jaguarundis, and ligers and company are perfectly welcome), what would be different?
Also, I kind of want some new cat-related house names that sound similar to the originals.
If you could give me some assistance of the wackiest kind, I would be much obliged.
THANK GODRIC YOU'RE FINALLY WRITING CHAPTER THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, now that my fangirl squee-ing is done with, let's think about this, shall we?
Gryffindor = Jaguardor?
Hufflepuff = Tabbypuff
Slytherin = Cheetahin?
Ravenclaw = Tigerclaw?
Gah... sorry... those were rubbish suggestions. I'm terrible at things like this. ^^;
For subjects, what if you had things like:
Defense Against the Dark Arts = Defense Against Hair Balls
(Learning how to get rid of those stubborn hair balls.)
Charms = Cats - The Musical!
(Filch singing... now if that's not scary, what is?)
Potions = Puma Power!
(Showcasing how we should all treat our beloved Pumas.)
Quidditch = Kitty Itch
(Um... itchy kitties? )
Hope that helped some... and sorry if this was a horrible, waste-of-time post!
P.S. HURRY UP AND WRITE, WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.P.S. Sorry. Got carried away.
Think lots of armchairs in sunbeams. No classes in dark dungeons. Also with mandatory nap-time.
The suits of armor would be replaced with statues of cats. Think ancient Egyptian cat-worship. A sphinx would now guard the entrance to Razorclaw (now more incentive to get the riddle right).
The Forbidden Forest would be turned into a wildlife game reserve for wild cats, and the Care of Magical Creatures, would be Catoring to the Whims of Your More Intelligent Masters, and now also mandatory. Potions would be a cooking class, becase we all know how picky eaters cats are.
Other than that, I'm not sure.
Toilets are replaced with litter boxes
Most food is liver and fish related. The door knocker on the Heads office in a cat claw. All doors are giant cat flaps! Fish fills the lake on the school grounds. The uniforms are leotards and they wear cat ears.
The paintings are cat related; there's even cats playing poker or Kitty Itch.
Got to go for now!
The school uniform is a Hello Kitty costume. Mandatory for teachers, too. (Snape in a Hello Kitty costume *giggles uncontrollably*)
Haha, the Hello Kitty uniform idea is great. Add kitty ears.
Also, there could be 'scratching posts' situated almost everywhere (you know, where cats sctratch their claws ). And everyone must purr, hiss, etc.