Sirius Black

[twilightHPgirl18]

I'm not sure if anyone's asked this yet, but can anyone see Sirius growing so depressed by his lack of relationship with his family that he would resort to self-injury? I'm writing a fic about the Marauders' seventh year, and I can sort of see Sirius doing that. It's how my story starts out, with James realizing it, but if it's too OOC I can change it.

[Equinox Chick]

Hmm,

I can see Sirius suffering from depression. He certainly seems to in OOTP, and I think there are certain signs that he had black moods when he was a teenager.

I'm not sure about him self harming. It doesn't quite seem right as that's a more insular thing. I think he'd become more reckless, especially when he's Padfoot. He's also very vocal in his disgust with his family, so I don't see him repressing that rage enough to start self harming.

Just my two Knuts.

Carole

[fg_weasley]

I agree with Carole - dark moods, depression are something I definitely see in Sirius. Self-injury? Not really at all, no. I, too, think he'd become more reckless as a way of coping, not injure himself in such a direct way. I don't think he really acknowledged his dark emotions so directly, so I don't think he'd take such a direct approach as that in trying to cope with them.

He's also very vocal in his disgust with his family, so I don't see him repressing that rage enough to start self harming.

She basically said everything else I was going to say right there. Self-injury is something a person does privately, something they never share - and Sirius was never one to hide how he felt about his family. He turned his pain into anger and recklessness.

xox
nikki

[psijupiter]

I think perhaps Sirius was very vocal about hating his family, but what he kept private was that he was confused about how he felt. He'd still love them, because they're his family, and he would miss being part of a family, especially if he spent alot of time with the Potters, or listening to his friends talk about their family. And then he'd be angry at himself for missing them.

I can't see him self harming, but I can see him being very reckless, putting himself into more danger than necassary and getting hurt that way. That sort of behaviour would have made him a hero with his friends and he would have a good reason not to go to the hospital wing if he had been injured doing something he shouldn't have been doing. Taking it one step closer to self harming, Sirius could sometimes go off and do reckless things by himself, without the MWPP's back up, getting injured in the process.

[miss sarcastic]

Sirius would definitely not resort to self injury.

Why?

Well, as we saw in the books, Sirius had a tendency to become brooding or elated at a simple turn of events. So, since adolescence is generally known for its violent mood swings, we can make the fair guess that his mood changes would be about the same or even worse. Especially when we recall his conflict with his family. I can see why you might think Sirius would result to self injury, but look at this segment from helpguide.org:

The person who self-injures may not recognize the connection, but this act usually occurs after an overwhelming or distressing experience and is a result of not having learned how to identify or express difficult feelings in a healthy way...

Self-inflicted violence is a way to express things that cannot be put into words such as displaying anger, shocking others or seeking support and help.

Some people who self-injure have a childhood of emotional abuse. ...they may feel that they deserved it and are now punishing themselves because of self-hatred and low self-esteem.

Expressions of anger were discouraged while growing up
They have co-existing problems with obsessive-compulsive disorder, substance abuse or eating disorders
They lack the necessary skills to express strong emotions in a healthy way
Often times there is a limited social support network

As we saw in the books, Sirius never had an issue with expressing how he truly felt. He was a true Gryffindor, bold and rash, and could express any strong emotions with relative ease. In fact, at the most painful time of his life, he turned outwards, not inwards. Rather than inflict injury on himself when James and Lily died, he tracked down Peter Pettigrew and attempted to kill him. While this may not be the healthiest way to express one's anger, it is vastly different than self injury.

In fact, I would imagine that Sirius more often hurt others rather than himself, emotionally or physically. His resentment towards Snape almost led to his death when he allowed Snape to find out about Remus's condition and basically clued him in about the Whomping Willow. And his pride would have probably made him refrain from apologizing. These acts of emotional violence always seem to be aimed outwards, often at those he resents. Those who submit to self injury also do not have a solid support system. Sirius possesses this, without a doubt. Although his whole family disapproved of his beliefs and choice, we know that his friends supported him every step of the way. James and Sirius were the closest in their little group, and although Sirius may not have always put his feelings into words and confided in James, I'm sure that James made it clear that he always supported his best friend. (Except, of course, in the case of Severus and the Whomping Willow.)

So, perhaps you could take Sirius's anger in a different direction. When angry, he lashes out to those he hates. Maybe this is part of the reason he bullied Snape so often? Maybe Sirius was a beater, and used Quidditch to channel out his anger, both at the world and maybe even himself. You could see it any number of ways.

I hoped I helped!

~Ashley

[Equinox Chick]

There is evidence later in life that he took to drink. He broods in the attic with Buckbeak a lot and smells of Firewhisky.

I'm just mentioning this, because while I agree that as a teenager he would probably lash out rather than bottle things up, he appears after Azkaban to become far more insular. I also think that as he got unhappier he wouldn't confine his lashing out to enemies. We've seen in SWM that he uses his sharp tongue on Wormtail. I'm sure that wasn't the only time.

But for all the reasons Miss sarcastic said, I can't see him being a self-harmer.

Carole

[twilightHPgirl18]

Carole, Nikki, and Ashley: Thank you! I definitely see what you're saying, and it makes a ton of sense. I get what you mean, as my friends tell me I'm like Sirius and have the reckless, lashing-out problem when I'm angry and have never resorted to self-injury. So thanks alot (again), because I can tell 100% now why he wouldn't do it.

{BeccA}

[LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer]

Okay, I don't know if this belongs here, but I don't know where else to ask, so:
Sirius asks Harry in PoA if he wants to live with him. He says he has a house. He obviously has number 12, Grimmould Place, but he wouldn't want to live there...We also know that at the age 17 he bought himself a flat in London with the money his uncle left him, but it's never mentioned after that, so it was probably taken away when he ent to Askaban. So I'm asking to which house he was refering to in PoA. Does he plan to live in Grimmould Place? He never wanted to live there again, so I find this pretty unlikely...did JKR just mess up?
Andrea

[psijupiter]

Okay, I don't know if this belongs here, but I don't know where else to ask, so:
Sirius asks Harry in PoA if he wants to live with him. He says he has a house. He obviously has number 12, Grimmould Place, but he wouldn't want to live there...We also know that at the age 17 he bought himself a flat in London with the money his uncle left him, but it's never mentioned after that, so it was probably taken away when he ent to Askaban. So I'm asking to which house he was refering to in PoA. Does he plan to live in Grimmould Place? He never wanted to live there again, so I find this pretty unlikely...did JKR just mess up?
Andrea

I think Sirius was thinking of Grimmauld Place when he made the offer. Although he hates the house he probably wouldn't mind living there with Harry. And once his name was cleared he'd be able to sell the house and buy somewhere new for him and Harry.

Although he hates having to live in the house in OotP, I think that mostly comes from being trapped in it and being on his own in it most of the time. I can imagine in OotP him spending alot of time thinking 'if only I'd killed Peter, then Harry would be living with me, he'd be coming home for Christmas and I wouldn't be on my own...' Plus he's surrounded by reminders of his family, who are the people fighting with Voldemort and putting his friends in danger.

I also wonder if during his time in Azkaban he'd built up a (completely unrealistic) fantasy around what would happen if he killed Peter. Like: he kills the bad guy, becomes a hero and lives happily ever after. Of course, it was never going to work like that, because I think Azkaban has messed Sirius up more than he admits or is even possibly aware of, but maybe in PoA he was trapped in that fantasy, so he wasn't really thinking of anything practical, just, 'Harry can live with me! I have a house, it'll be great and fun and the last thirteen years won't count!'

Alternatively, if the Ministry seizes Sirius posessions when he was sent to Azkaban, they might easily be obligated to return them all when his name is cleared, including the flat he owned in London.

[Equinox Chick]

Well, we have no idea what happened to his flat. It could have been taken away, but it's never made clear. If the Ministry had taken away his flat then they could have taken GP away too and possibly given it to Narcissa or Andromeda as nearest Black relatives. In a fic I'm writing the Aurors couldn't get into Sirius' flat because he'd cast certain enchantments, so when he escapes from Azkaban he can head back there.

The reason I did this is because in DH Harry finds his mother's letter and that photograph. Sirius would not have had that in Azkaban and had not been to Grimmauld Place, so the letter and photograph had to be somewhere else. I kept it at his old flat, until someone finds it.

Sorry, that's straying off the point, but I think Sirius could have been referring to Grimmauld Place as his house. He'd not been there for years and years and didn't know exactly how awful it was. It's also one thing to be living in that house as a free man which he would have been if things had gone his way in POA, but another for the situation he found himself in which was confined to the house.

Carole
xxx