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Thread: Georgia's Reviews

  1. #1
    Fifth Year Slytherin
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    Georgia's Reviews

    Username on the archives: dmbw7052
    Current SPEW Ranking: bronze, I think
    How long you've been in SPEW: about two or three days
    Link to review page:here
    Favourite review(s) you've left: The Birthday Girl by Hortrav, Feathers for Figg by ProfPosky, Believing in Fairytales by HalfASlug
    Stories of yours you would like to see reviewed in depth: Well, probably just about any, but The truth Behind the Fur and Love, Lily in particular.
    Georgia Duels!Georgia Drabbles!Georgia writes poetry!

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  2. #2
    Sixth Year Slytherin
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    Here are my comments about your review of Panic by Verita Serum.

    Hi, Georgia. Isn’t it more gratifying (and fun) to write a review for a story you really enjoy, instead of having to cudgel your brain to think of something complimentary to say about a story that didn’t really move you? It’s plain that reading this story was a pleasure for you, and the author was doubtless happy to read your review.

    You state that the author made Lily his/her own character. “I really like how you took an often cliched character and made her your own.” It would be useful to expand this comment by mentioning more specifically what cliches the author fortunately managed to avoid, and what features of Lily’s characterization constituted a fresh new approach. In the same way you could comment on the characterization of the other primary actor in this drama, Scorpius, since he has a dynamic personality with strong emotions and seems to be carrying a lot of familial baggage.

    I think that the academic situation these characters are in is not a seventh year at Hogwarts; in fact, it’s not at Hogwarts at all. Lily mentions having passed all her necessary N.E.W.T.s, so apparently they are at an Auror training institute, Lily in the second year of the curriculum and Scorpius a couple of years farther along. Still, if this arrangement was not clear to you, it might have confused some other readers also, so it’s good to mention any source of possible confusion or uncertainty.

    There were a couple of places where redundancies occurred. In the first paragraph it is stated “…simply cannot wait to read more,” and a bit farther along, “Can’t wait for the next chapter!” You could consider changing the first of those two quotes into something equally enthusiastic but using different words. The final sentence of the review, “I’m excited to read the next chapter!”, is fine because it is separated from the first paragraph by three other paragraphs.

    The other redundancy, as you have probably already noticed, is in paragraph two. “I really like how you took an often cliched character and made her your own,” and a few sentences later, “It’s great when you can take a character and really make them your own.” Here you could just eliminate the second of those two sentences since it doesn’t add anything that hasn’t already been said, and then fill out the paragraph with some specific examples, as I suggested in the second paragraph of this critique.

    You commented on several aspects of this story -- Lily’s character, the newly-arisen group of “bad guys” called “Riddle’s Children”, the setting of the training institute, and the sudden excitement of the unexpected attack. The author will be pleased simply to know that you enjoyed all these aspects of the story. Each of these aspects could have been discussed more at length, if you wished, giving quotes or examples of particularly good lines or ideas, to make the author even happier.

    But ultimately, what the authors want, I think, is to know that we readers liked their stories, or enjoyed them or found them moving or profound or helpful in some way; in short, they want to know our personal reaction, as well as an academic comment such as a creative writing professor might write on a story turned in for a class assignment. And your review does that. It conveys your enthusiasm for the story and will certainly impel the author to keep writing and post the next chapter soon.
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  3. #3
    Sixth Year Hufflepuff
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    Hello, Georgia. I hope you don't feel we are "piling on" by both of us reviewing you this month, but you must know we are just excited to have new blood in SPEW. Hehe. And so, I shall give you some comments on your review for Believing in Fairytales by HalfASlug.

    I've read three of your reviews so far, and I like that you can do the job rather sufficiently without writing a novel. I've never been one to condense my thoughts well, so this is a challenge for me, especially since joining SPEW and trying to cover a bit more in my reviews. Being concise is to be commended.

    I like how you pointed out the scarcity of fics out there on the topic in question, and mentioned how glad you were to see one featuring Hermione's young life. Your comments about her characterization seemed helpful, including your remarks about how well the author caught her voice at the correct age. It's hard to get that right with children, and much of it does boil down to preference (or experience with particular children), but I think it was worth mentioning here.

    You made a good point about her parents' lack of concern over her magical "incidents" and their increasing frequency. It may be that they are just naive, but they do seem the type to be both intelligent and proactive in terms of their daughter's safety and education, so perhaps they would have been more alarmed at the possible dangers. In reference to both Hermione and her parents, you provided apt examples to illustrate your conclusions. Well done.

    Really, the only constructive criticism I might offer is in regard to spelling and punctuation in the review. Granted, it's over a year old, and you weren't in SPEW then. I confess that I have many, many reviews out there with poor formatting or errors in them. (I can't tell you how often I've wished we could edit reviews after they are posted.) I think it was good to mention the author's misspelling of Hogsmeade, and yet, you misspelled Hermione in the first paragraph of your review. Not a huge deal, but just a reminder (to myself as well) to do a quick read-through before hitting submit.

    Overall, I really like your reviewing style... your personality comes through and the tone remains positive even when you are offering crit, which is a wonderful ability and not always easily accomplished.

    Happy reviewing, Georgia!
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