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Thread: 'It's Not You, It's Me' - The TTB February Heartbreak Challenge.

  1. #1
    Wizengamot Hufflepuff
    Kill the Spare
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    Jun 2008
    using rare and complicated words

    'It's Not You, It's Me' - The TTB February Heartbreak Challenge.

    "Welcome to Dumpsville, Baby. Population - You!"

    ~Homer Simpson

    Everyone has their own special way of telling someone it's over. The one above is succinct and exceedingly tactless, but So Very Homer! And your challenge for February (The month of love ♥) is to have a Harry Potter character write a letter to the person they're currently with telling them it's over. You must pay attention to characterisation, though. Crabbe quoting Shakespeare isn't going to happen, although Draco telling Harry he can't see him anymore is ... possible.

    There's a catch: You must write the letter from one of the gentlemen (?) listed. Also because this is an exercise in characterisation, there aren't any NG characters listed or very minor characters. You may think you know Anthony Goldstein's character inside out, but there's virtually nothing in canon, so tough!


    Harry Potter
    Dudley Dursley
    Sirius Black
    Remus Lupin
    Fred Weasley
    Oliver Wood
    Cormac McLaggen
    Neville Longbottom
    Draco Malfoy
    Lucius Malfoy

    There will be five points for each participant. If there are sufficient entries of good quality then points will be awarded for first, second and third place.

    Your letter needs to be between 300-500 words.

    Use this form for entry:

    PHP Code:
    B]Ratings and Warnings:[/B]
    B]Author's Note:[/B] 

    All the usual MNFF guidelines apply. I shall close this competition on February 28th at 10 PM GMT.

    (Please note that I might not have a decent internet connection until February 11th, so you may leave questions in Ask A Barmaid, but I might not answer immediately.)

    Have fun, barflies.

    Banner by the fabulous Julia - theoplaeye

  2. #2
    Ebil Minion Ravenclaw
    Receiving Toilet Seats
    BrokenPromise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    On the internet more often than off it
    Name: BrokenPromise
    House: Ravenclaw
    Title: 5pm, Full Moon
    Ratings and Warnings: Soppiness?
    Author's Note: I've also sort of written a drabble around this which I'll post in my thread, in case anyone wants to read a little bit more.

    Dear Lily,

    By the time you read this, I will be a different person, and I wonít be around to hurt you any further. I love you dearly, perhaps more than almost anything, and I wish I could show it by more than stolen kisses. But that person knows he should not. In fact, he knows that what we have must proceed no further.

    Have you read The Three Musketeers by Dumas? If you have, you may already to some extent understand my predicament. I have a loyalty to my friends far stronger than anything I have ever known before. They have done so much for me and I cannot come in the way of them, no matter what.

    You know exactly what Iím going to say, but I have to say it anyway, for me. James is completely in love with you, no matter how much anyone tries to convince any of us otherwise. (And by anyone, I mean mainly Sirius. Heís not nearly as bad as you think he is, even if he is fairly obnoxious quite a lot of the time.) But anyway, James is completely smitten with you, and if I were to get in the way of him, that would be ungrateful of me. I understand that you might tell me that love has to be given by both participants, but I would disagree. If you saw James, you would too. Some days he seems under a spell or a love potion. An open, public relationship would only inflame his feelings further, and quite possibly destroy the friendship between us. As much as I hate to lose this intimacy with you, I would hate to break up the camaraderie of our little Musketeer band even more.

    Iím sorry that this has to end, but for every ending there are two beginnings and so many, many incredible experiences. I hope you will be happy, whatever the future brings for you.

    I will always love you, I promise.

    Remus John Lupin
    [@Bannermaking] [@Poetry] [@Writing] [@Drabbling] [@Duelling]

    Incredible Avvie and Beautiful banner for my Cotillion fic by Nadia/majestic_ginny!

  3. #3
    Seventh Year Slytherin
    Sirius Black Has Made It To The Muggle News
    Oregonian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    The green and rainy Pacific Northwest
    Name: Oregonian
    House: Slytherin
    Title: Love Lost
    Ratings and Warnings: 1st-2nd Years, None
    A/N: Thanks to my beta, Islastorm/Elaine of Gryffindor

    Dear Myra,

    First let me say I'm sorry that I stood you up on Saturday evening for our regular Saturday date. You probably wondered why I didn't show up. I bet you telephoned me too, and wondered why I didn't answer. The reason is that me and my family had to leave our house real suddenly that night and go into hiding. It has to do with some criminals that are after my cousin, and these people who helped us leave said that the criminals might come to our house and attack us and torture us to make us tell them where my cousin is (but it wouldn't do them any good because I don't know where he is). You can go by my house if you don't believe me. You will see that nobody's there.

    Now we are living in a new place that these people brought us to, but I can't tell you where it is. I'm not even sure what town we are in because they don't let us go outside the house. Not yet, anyway. They told me not to try to contact you. They said it would be dangerous for you if this letter was traced back to me. But I am going to smuggle it out anyway, and you should burn it after you read it.

    I don't know how long we will have to live here or if we will ever come back to Little Whinging. I hope so. But for now I can't see you, or even write to you again. If anyone asks you about me, say that we broke up and you never see me anymore.

    I know that what they say about the criminals is true because I had a run-in with them two years ago, and they are really bad. I sure don't want them to have anything to do with you.

    That's about it for now. If you want to go out with other boys while I'm gone, that's okay. It will make the criminals think for sure that we have broken up. If I ever come back, maybe we can get together again.


    P.S. Burn this letter.
    Writer, Poet, Drabbler, Occasional Beta, Slytherin Cheerleader
    This lovely banner is a gift from my good friend Nagini Riddle.

  4. #4
    First Year Ravenclaw
    In the Rubble at Godric's Hollow

    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Name: Al Clark
    House: Ravenclaw
    Title: It's not just you, it's totally you and then some!
    Ratings and Warnings: 3rd-5th Years?, Mild profanity? Mental disorder? Attempted snarkiness?
    Author's Note:

    Dear Hermione,

    Thank you for as much as admitting (however belatedly) that when you agreed to go to Sluggy's Christmas party with me you were only using me to make Ron Weasley jealous. Now that I know where we stand, I have no use for someone as mean as you. Forget what I said about how much I "want" you, that was just flattery.

    As for your opinion that "without that motive you could not have had any reason at all to go with me", you don't know me well enough, nor are you smart enough, to say that. You are being shallow, vain, and ignorant.

    You say that I am always "spoiling for a fight" and "complaining that I don't get what I think I deserve". That isn't so. I'm not the one who wants a fight just because some other people can't stand to hear the truth or accept good advice and fair criticism.

    And I really haven't gotten the things I deserve. Consider the Gryffindor Quidditch side. I should have been their Keeper the last two years, but Quidditch was cancelled for that stupid tournament (I'm sure you remember how well that turned out), and then last year your Ron's twin brothers tricked me into missing the tryouts--and it turns out they only did it because their stupid little brother was trying out and they wanted to make it easy for him!

    And this year I was really unlucky at the tryouts. With only one chance left, I missed a save that I could have had at least 999 times out of a thousand--while Ron's sister gave him an easy save, but Ron's friend Harry kept him on the team, even though we know he's not that good. That was just plain rotten luck and unfairness, and could not have been due to any fault of mine, and nothing you could say could ever convince me otherwise.

    To sum up, I've had it with you. Get stuffed.


    Cormac McLaggen

  5. #5
    Seventh Year Hufflepuff
    minnabird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Name: Minna
    House: Hufflepuff
    Title: A Non-Marriage of Convenience
    Ratings and Warnings: 1st-2nd, none, unless discussing legitimacy of children counts for something
    Author's Note: Vaguely headcanoning that the jilted Miss Fawley later marries a Macmillan and becomes Ernie's mum.

    My dear Miss Fawley,

    I am afraid that I am unable to make our engagement tomorrow, or any in future. I have enjoyed your company these past few months, as should be evident by certain overtures I have made recently. However, after receiving some rather disturbing news and reflecting on it for some time, I regret that I must withdraw my offer of betrothal.

    You will see, I am sure, that the dissolution of the engagement shall be to both our benefit. Your family has certain political motivations that clash with those of my family, and as we both have political inclinations, this would be bound to bring discord into our home, should we marry. As I am the sole son and heir of the Malfoy line, it must be assured that the views of the family of which I will be head remain as pure as our blood.

    More troublingly, there is talk in certain corners that throws your virtue into question. I am not ending the engagement on the basis of idle gossip, though; a source that my father trusts implicitly has seen you engaging in an intimate embrace with another wizard. You must see the impossible place this puts me in. Should the wedding occur as planned, our children’s legitimacy would always remain in doubt. We are willing to forgive this betrayal, though not so far as to allow the engagement to go forward. We are even willing to be generous. My father has offered a handsome sum of gold to add to your dowry; dispose of it as you please, but I would advise you to convince your paramour to make an honest woman of you.

    It is my hope that our families may continue in friendship in future, though not linked by the bonds of matrimony. But for us, I am afraid, this is goodbye.

    Lucius Malfoy

    Name: Minna
    House: Hufflepuff
    Title: Facing Facts
    Ratings and Warnings: 6th-7th, allusions to sexual situations, strong and mild profanity, slash
    Author's Note: This letter was sent the summer between fourth and fifth year. Also, I was not at all sure what the proper way to censor one of these words was. Hopefully it's understandable...

    Look, this is really sh*tty but there’s no way I’m getting out of this stupid house to see you anyway. I can’t do this anymore. No, shut the f**k up and keep reading. (This is why I’m glad I’m doing this on paper. You just talk and then everything makes sense. For about ten minutes. Fifteen if you decided on kissing instead of words. And then everything is wrong again and I wonder if the wrong is in me, not us. It probably is, but that’s not the f**king point, Moony).

    Like I said. I can’t do this.

    I mean, it’s great and all. The, you know, kissing and other stuff and James would seriously laugh his head off if he knew how squeamish I am talking about this stuff when it comes to you. And Mum would hex my b*ll***s off if she knew, and that’s always a pro. But...well, that’s the thing. It just doesn’t feel right somehow. (And this is where you’d make that panicked face that always gets me, the one where you look like you’re afraid this is it, you’re finally losing everything. Again: shut up).

    Look, I like girls, Moony. You knew that. We all know that. This business with two blokes, it’s all right for some people, but it’s just not me. And yeah, it turns me on when we’re together but we’re fifteen, doesn’t that pretty much happen anyway? It’s not about that stuff, anyway. It’s not even some kind of macho self-image thing (that’s all Prongs). It’s just...that’s not the kind of life I see for myself. It’s not something I’d be comfortable with out in the open. And I don’t want to live in the shadows, Moony. I do that enough in this gloomy old house. And yeah, I know, I’m preaching to the choir - preaching to the d**n priest, really - when it comes to living in the shadows. But I’m pretty sure you don’t want this out in the open, either. So won’t we both be happier just stopping and being friends again before we start hating each other?

    It’s dumb pretending I know what you want, really. For all I know, you’re going to hate me anyway after you read this. But just so you know, the old cliche is not as dumb as I used to think it was. It really isn’t you. It’s me. You’re great. I’m just a piece of sh*t who got in over his head with something I wasn’t sure about. Typical Gryffindor, right? Jump first, think later. I’m glad I tried it, though, Moony. I am. Now I know. I’m just sorry the answer is that I don’t really want to be with you after all.

    Last edited by minnabird; 02-11-2014 at 11:57 AM.

  6. #6
    Second Year Hufflepuff
    Beset by Owls
    ginnypotter19's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    In a refrigerator.
    PHP Code:
    Name: ginnypotter19
    House: Hufflepuff
    Title: You're There and I'm Here
    Ratings and Warnings: none really besides possible feels.
    Author's Note: I have this head canon that Neville and Luna dated in the books, but didn't work out, and this would be why.

    Dearest Luna,

    I can't believe this is my forty-seventh letter to you in which I'm still waiting for a reply. I thought that when you said you'd write, you actually meant it. But here I am, still waiting for a reply and praying to Merlin that you're OK.

    It's been six months, Luna, and so much has happened since you left for this beautiful adventure of yours. Harry and Ginny's second son Albus was born, I've quit the Auror Department because Hogwarts sent me a letter of acceptance to become the new Herbology teacher, Ron and Hermione found out they are having a baby girl (Hermione finally cracked and decided she wanted to know the sex) and they're due any day now, and Susan Bones and I had tea last week. Of course, I wouldn't have to tell you all of this if you'd reply to my letters so I know you've read them.

    I thought I'd be able to handle this, but when you didn't return two months ago as planned, I've grown less sure. I understand why you felt like you had to leave. I've understood since day one when you told me three years ago. I've always been proud to call myself your boyfriend, but I don't understand why you haven't contacted me in return. It's your seventh year all over again.

    I'm sorry, Luna. I really am, but I feel like you've left me no choice. I've returned the ring. When I asked you six months ago, you promised to write your response to me. I can only assume that's why you haven't replied to any of my letters. You're an extraordinary woman, Luna. I've known that since the moment I met you. I like to think we were in love. I know I loved you. We've been through so much together, which just reminds me how strong of a woman you are. You were meant to go on this adventure. I just don't think I'm meant for the rest of your adventures in life.

    Thank you for making me the man I am today. You've been with me all those times when I visited my parents to let them know Bellatrix Lestrange was killed, and encouraged me into believing that I've always been that man you saw during that final battle at Hogwarts. I can't thank you enough for that. I'm sure you'll make another man as happy as you've made me these last three years. For now, I hope you find what you're looking for on this adventure. You deserve to discover everything you're searching for. I don't know anyone more deserving.

    As for now, this is where we finally part ways in life, in hopes that we meet again someday. You know where to find me when you return. That is, if you wish to see me again. I'll be waiting, as always.

    Much love,

  7. #7
    Seventh Year Hufflepuff
    Attending a Deathday Party
    Weasley Mom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Name: WeasleyMom
    House: Hufflepuff
    Title: Reality Wins
    Ratings and Warnings: 3rd-5th, 487 words
    Author's Note: This references a drabble I wrote last year for the SBBC. It's not necessary to read it, but if this one rings a bell, and you've read the other one... yeah, they go together.

    Dear Marlene,

    If I was any sort of man, I wouldn’t be writing this. I’d tell you over a drink or dinner, or as we walk along the street in front of your house, but I lack the strength. The fact is, if you were in front of me, I couldn’t do it. It seems I am what I most despise: a coward. You deserve better, and I can’t give it to you. I’ve never regretted anything more.

    We can’t be together anymore. I’ve known it, but our conversation the other night forced me to face the truth. I’d convinced myself it wasn’t hurting anyone—being with you and being happier than I could have imagined possible—but I see now how selfish I’ve been. You want more and I’ve hurt you by not giving it. Reality always wins, and now, I must let you go.

    I do love you, Marlie. The last time we spoke, you accused me. You said I didn’t love you because if I did, I would choose you. I’ve thought of little else since then, trying to decide if you were right, if I’ve only been fooling myself. But this time, you’re wrong. I’ve loved you for years. Even now, writing this, I can close my eyes and see the frustrated look you used to get when you were confused in Potions. I see you in the Quidditch stands wearing that red hat you always wore on cold days. It covered your ears and your forehead, but your dark curls crawled out all around the edges. You were wearing it the first time we kissed – do you remember?

    It’s because I love you as I do that I’m writing this. I have to release you because it’s more important that you be safe and happy and free to live the life you want and deserve. I know you will object, but please… try to trust me. The moments we’ve shared together have been like a dream, like something out of someone else’s life, but they were also moments of weakness on my part that exposed you to unimaginable, unnecessary danger. I wish I could explain more, but I can’t. Just know I despise myself for my selfishness, and yet, at the same time, I can’t bring myself to regret you either.

    I’m going away for a while. Dumbledore’s got a job needing done and I’ve volunteered to go for the Order. I hope the distance will strengthen my resolve, but it should only take a couple of weeks. I hope we will remain friends. I can’t bear to think of my life without you in it, but I will try to respect your wishes in that regard. I will send this the day I leave and look forward to seeing you at an Order meeting or on assignment once I return.

    Be safe, Marlie, and be careful. And please, forgive me.


  8. #8
    Second Year Hufflepuff
    Beset by Owls
    teh tarik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    New Zealand
    Name: teh tarik
    House: Hufflepuff
    Title: Game Over
    Ratings and Warnings: 3rd-5th years, mild profanity, 498 words.
    Author's Note: Wow, drabbles are incredibly difficult. Also, headcanon here, but Ettie is short for Marietta Edgecombe. I've written a fic on her somewhere but somehow never got down to posting it up.

    Lo there, Ettie,

    Figured Iíd write you something while waiting for you to turn up here at the Leaky. I heard women dig this sort of thing, being written to. We agreed to meet here half-eight, remember? Itís past that now, and between me and this pint right here under my nose, I donít think youíre going to show. Guess I canít say Iím surprised. Iím OK, still got a bit of hope that things will change and anyway thereís a match blaring on the wireless. Quidditch World Cup semi-final, remember? Brazil versus Japan. Iíve got my bets on Brazil Ė theyíre the hosts after all; the gameís good so far.

    Juninho just got booked; Tanaka took an elbow to the throat and now heís sputtering like a candle.

    Maybe it was a mistake asking you out tonight to listen to some stupid game with me.
    You know, I sort of leave things up to the game. Like, if the Arrows score within the next ten minutes, Iíll go up to the girl sitting by her lonesome at the counter. She turned out to be you. And when the Arrows won the match in the end, I asked for your number. You said yes, but not before making me believe you were going to say no, first. The Arrows pointed me to you, I guess. Sorry, couldnít resist!

    The refís just tried to foul one of the spectators. Something about a bewitched vuvuzela spouting Doxys which are attacking the players; thatís got to be the newest foul in history, the seven hundred and twelfth. Maybe this match isnít that exciting after all. Maybe youíre smart not to come Ė maybe youíll still turn up?

    Maybe Ė in the next ten points, youíll turn up.

    Pereira got that one. Sounds like Watanabeís trying to convince the ref that Pereira was haversacking. Nope, itís official. Ten points. And youíre still not here. Scoreís 340-240 to Brazil. Iíll give you the next ten points. And Pereira got it. The next ten points, then. Ten points and youíll turn up, and then weíll sort out all the crap weíve been through lately and thingsíll be good again.

    But no Ė Fujima just caught the Snitch. Beat Goncalves to it by a millimetre, apparently. Japan are through to the finals. Iím through with this pint. Funny, but I donít think Iíve ever cared less about someone bagging the Snitch. Now thereís nothing to distract me from your absence.

    Guess I should peel my hopeful a*se off this stool and call it a night. And this letter Ė bugger this letter. Maybe Iíll leave it with the barman in case you do drop by. Already old Tomís looking at me strangely, what the hell, Oliver Wood sitting in a bar, writing.

    Itíll feel strange walking out without you. But the gameís done and Iíve run out of ten points to give, Iím heading home. Think Iíll manage.

    Sorry but I donít think Iíll call.

    All the best, Ettie,

    lovely banner by the opaleye | icon by etherealnetwork @ lj

  9. #9
    Wizengamot Hufflepuff
    Kill the Spare
    Equinox Chick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    using rare and complicated words
    Thank you!

    Results soon (ish)


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  10. #10
    Wizengamot Hufflepuff
    Kill the Spare
    Equinox Chick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    using rare and complicated words
    I know I always say this, but I've found this very hard to judge. You all did a good job on characterisation, which is what I asked for, and the letters made me sigh (and one or two made me giggle.) In the end I had to whittle this down to the ones that told a story and added something a little different to the mix.

    So ...

    1st Place - teh tarik - Hufflepuff for Game Over - 15 points

    This was so in keeping with Oliver. His obsession with the game dominating his love life, and the extra touches regarding the match he was listening to as he wrote really made me smile. (The vuvuzela - ha ha!) I could picture him sitting in that bar waiting and getting even more morose. Great job.

    Joint 2nd Place - minnabird - Hufflepuff for Facing Facts - 10 points.

    Minna really got to the heart of Sirius here. The relationship between him and Remus is obviously of great interest in fanfiction and this did a great job of portraying that possible ship but also hinted at the mistrust that would grow between them in a few years time.


    Weasley Mom -Hufflepuff for Reality Wins - 10 points

    Poor Remus. He's far too noble for his own good, but then if Marlene had been as stubborn as Tonks she'd have got her man! Lovely characterisation and imagery here which really brought the drabble to life

    3rd Place - Oregonian - Slytherin for Love Lost - 5 points

    It isn't often I feel any sympathy for Dudley, but in his letter I did. This is a Dudley we can clearly see by the start of book seven, the boy who no longer thinks of Harry as a 'waste of space'.


    Gryffindor 0.o

    Hufflepuff -55
    teh tarik - 20
    minnabird -15
    Weasley Mom - 15
    ginnypotter19 - 5

    Ravenclaw -10
    Broken Promise - 5
    Al Clark - 5

    Slytherin - 10
    Oregonian - 10

    Thank you all for entering.


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