“Is there anything you would like to tell me?”
Yes. No. Oh, what in Merlin’s name is there to say? How do I explain? How do I explain why I had to drag Severus Stinking Snape away from that blasted Willow? How do I explain that my best mate almost killed my worst enemy?
And how do I explain why he did it? How do I tell him that Snape wants the girl I want? How do I tell him that Sirius didn’t want him dead?
How do I tell him that when I don’t believe it?
I think I love Lily, because you can’t be so stupid about someone and not love them. But why, of all the hundreds of girls in the school, did Snape and I have to fix on the same one? I hate the thought of him wanting her. But I can’t help it. Even if I hate him. Especially if Sirius does. I mean, it’s great of him to try and make him look bad in front of Lily, but he’s a nutcase.
He said Snivellus had it coming for cutting my face open. But he didn’t deserve to die. Maybe to be tied up in his robes and hung from the Astronomy Tower for a while, but not death. Not at the price of him seeing Moony like that. If Moony had attacked –
Snape wouldn’t care. He’d say “the werewolf” had it coming. He’d sneer when they came to take Remus away. And we’d hex him into space, but Remus would never come back.
They won’t come for Remus, Not if we have to die for him. Which we might, if this goes badly. I haven’t said anything for about ten minutes, which is usually a bad sign…
I wonder if he’s reading my mind. You reading my mind, Professor? You know, now, if you are. I can’t really tell, no one’s used Legilimency on me before. But you won’t tell if you do know. You won’t tell anyone that Sirius hates Snape “for wanting my girl” but really because Snape corrupted Regulus and now Regulus won’t even talk to Pads. You won’t tell that Snape’s been even more nasty after he called Lily a Mudblood and she walked away, even though it was his fault. You won’t tell how he – I – we – feel about her.
I had a speech worked out about how I was taking a stroll and happened to see Snape out by the Willow, but you can just look through me and I forget it all. Besides, I never had a good explanation for Padfoot.
I’m sorry, I really am. If I could have stopped Sirius, I would have. I never wanted it to go this far, especially because Snape knows about Moony now. But I swear I didn’t want it to be like this.
Dragon pox on your light blue eyes.