Being British #5

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Keefy, your posts in this thread absolutely crack me up. Your tone is ridiculously hilarious.

In any case, there's no need to say 'sorry' about the fact that there's no valedictorian at British schools.

I was hoping there wouldn't be! I really did not want to have to invent a valedictorian and give him a speech... it would be MUCH better if the headmistress gave a speech (Because a marvelous prank occurs during the speech.)

So thanks very much for your help.

[AurorKeefy]

Well, Snape ends up shooting all the game ideas down anyway, so that isn't really the problem. The problem is that I tended to make up my own games with my friends, or played games that required large groups, so it's taxing my brain to come up with 'two people' games. *dies*

Well as my previous answers suggest, I feel your pain. I think with two kids it's all about improvising and imagination, so examples may prove hard to come by. Someone else might have some ideas, or else it's back to the old standby of.

Yadyadyadya thought Severus, as Lily Yadyadya.
'...or cats cradle?' finished Lily.
Severus Yadydyadya'd.

The time period I have in mind is the summer before Draco's seventh year. Theoretically, would he say something like "cops"? Because—believe it or not —this is important to the story. Any other slang? Suggestions? Advice? Thanks!

*Sighs* Yes, but no, but yes I suppose. In the time frame, I think cops would have been more than appropriate for a Muggle to say. If this is Draco though, a pure blood with no interest in Muggles, he's highly unlikely to know the word. It's not beyond the bounds of possibility that he doesn't even know the word "Policemen", and refers to them as the Muggle Aurors, or something. Of course if this is a humour fic, I would presume you have a little artistic license in the matter, so it's not out of time, but maybe a little out of canon.

Keefy, your posts in this thread absolutely crack me up. Your tone is ridiculously hilarious. In any case, there's no need to say 'sorry' about the fact that there's no valedictorian at British schools.

I was hoping there wouldn't be! I really did not want to have to invent a valedictorian and give him a speech... it would be MUCH better if the headmistress gave a speech (Because a marvelous prank occurs during the speech.)

Compliments on a postcard to the usual address. I'm also pleased to hear you didn't need said valedictorian, and if anyone was going to do a speech, then the Headteacher would be very appropriate.

[Magical Maeve]

Cop is British. It's one of those terms that left these shores for America and in the modern world has somehow become Americanised rather than the other was around. You can also use coppers for a more nostalgic feel. The fuzz (American in origin but here for the entire HP period), the Old Bill and the Filth are commoner in London and there's always the bobby, which is old-fashioned and now used only by older people in rural areas (in the main). But I agree with Keefy, if it's Draco he wouldn't know these terms unless he took Muggle Studies seriously.

Bizzies and the dibble are real enough. If you're a Liverpudlian criminal then you do not want to see the bizzies and if you happen to be a miscreant from Manchester then the Dibble are anathema. To be a bit more precise, the Dibble is used more in the city of Manchester and its immediate environs rather than Greater Manchester.

As for games, I'm a girl and most of them went straight over my head too. There was a slot of hand slapping to songs going on in the plaground, but I couldn't recall a single one of those daft rhymes. That would be a good game exclusively for two people. There's always things like marbles and hopscotch, which while playable in groups don't exclude just two players.

[cmwinters]

(Popping in with a comment even though I'm not British)

Severus would probably have a good frame of reference to marbles, too, given that Eileen was captain of the Hogwarts Gobstone Club.

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

WOW, I'm really becoming a regular here.

Who is a famous Muggle decorator that everyone in Britain knows? (The time of the story is 2001-2002.) I used Martha Stewart in my first draft, but I don't know if there's a British alternative.

EDIT: It's been quite awhile, and I kind of need to submit this fic, so I'll just submit it and say 'Martha Stewart,' and go back and edit it in the story after it gets corrected if Martha Stewart isn't a good choice.

[AurorKeefy]

My initial lack of response stemmed from me not watching home decorating programs at all, so I didn't feel I was remotely qualified to speak on the matter. Then, alas, my masculinity was thrown into question by remembering the one famous person who - I believe - fits the bill.

His name is, though I'm likely to spell this wrongly, Lawrence Lleywellen Bowen. The middle one being pronounced Lu-ell-inn.

He does, or at the very least did, home decoration programs on television and attained a certain degree of fame in doing so - not least because I have heard of him. He became famous because of his flamboyant style (*shrugs*) coupled with the fact he was a heterosexual male with long, curly, dark hair, and a penchant for wearing suits with lacy collars and cuffs.

This is, of course, the opinion of someone who has never watched any of his programs, but perhaps that speaks volumes.

EDIT: And a quick facepalm after Maeve pointed out what should have been the bleeding obvious about the cops stemming from coppers. That can go hand in hand with her more accurate placement of the bizzies and dibbles. *Applauds*

EDIT 2: Yep, spectacularly wrong on the spelling front. It's Laurence Llewylen-Bowen. Bizarrely, the bloke has his own website http://www.llb.co.uk/ and, very interestingly, when his daughter was born in 1998, he named her Hermione! Heh! Strange world!

[Magical Maeve]

*nods agreement* You'd be hard pressed to find a bod in Britain who hasn't heard of Mr Bowen. He surfaced mid-nineties and shows no signs of disappearing. The only other interiors person I can think of off-hand is Terence Conran. He has a chain of shops and is generally considered to be middle-market and classy. Bowen has a more chavtastic (low-end)reputation, despite a lot of his work being lovely. This probably stems from his work on Changing Rooms - which I believe you have stateside.

[apollo13]

Bowen tends to be laughed at though, not least because out of all the home decorating programs, he has the highest amount of people that didn't like what he done to their homes.

Can't say I blame them, to be honest.

~Evie

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Bowen tends to be laughed at though, not least because out of all the home decorating programs, he has the highest amount of people that didn't like what he done to their homes.

Can't say I blame them, to be honest.

~Evie

Well, that's kind of the point, actually... Hermione is trying to fix up Ron's flat, and she says it's a good thing she watches decorating shows. And Ron asks about the decorator (who's that?) and Harry replies that Ron doesn't want to know, that Aunt Petunia was obsessed and... he goes on to describe what she did to his room.

Thanks, people!

[Crows]

Would anybody refer to acne as anything other than zits, blackheads, or the like. My parents always say that my brothers are spotty, but I'm thinking on more of terms of a single blemish (I'm not really about to ask my parents this. It's a wee bit embarrassing) like ie: Remus randomly scratched at a zit on his chin. Would he think of it in any other way. I know this seems silly, but I want to know.