I'm so glad we're doing this :D
I'm so glad we're doing this :D
Candy Heart used: Late nights
Rating/warnings: 6th-7th years; sexual situations, strong profanity, slash
Author's note: Here's a little something I cooked up for you, Sophie! I hope you enjoy :)
Sirius is leaving.
He’s only stayed a day, damn it, and he’s leaving. Why, James has no idea — when Sirius showed up at the Potters’ doorstep late at night, James’s parents hadn’t hesitated for a second.
So James is going to stop him. He doesn’t care how; Sirius can’t go. Not now.
“You don’t have to do this,” James tells Sirius, standing in the doorway.
“Easy for you to say,” Sirius snarls back, trying to push past nonetheless, and suddenly, he is angry; his black eyes are gleaming with furiousness that James has always known was there but has never thought would be directed at him, of all people.
Slowly, very slowly, James exhales, letting out the breath he has held for several seconds. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he says finally.
“You know exactly what that’s supposed to mean. At least you have a normal family, not the psychos I have to deal with who discuss their pureblood sh*t over the f*cking turkey.”
“So stay here!” James says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. And it should be.
“I'm not a charity case.”
“This isn’t charity,” James counters.
“I don’t need your help,” Sirius growls. “I — just needed somewhere to crash last night. I'll find somewhere else.”
“I don’t understand why,” James pleads. “You won’t find somewhere else. It's late. You’re underage, damn it! You can’t just leave like this—”
“I can’t tell you why,” Sirius says tersely. “You wouldn’t—”
Raising his eyebrows, James says, “I wouldn’t understand? You’re my best friend, Padfoot. I know you better than anyone. Don’t I?”
“No, you don’t.”
“You’re like family, Padfoot—”
“Well, maybe I don’t want to be!” Sirius finally bursts out.
James is sure Sirius doesn’t mean to do what he does next — when Sirius reaches out, grabs James’s hand and presses his lips on James’s knuckles, James is not quite sure what to think.
At first, James doesn’t do anything; his fingers slowly curl into a fist and his brow crinkles in confusion, but he doesn’t say anything or move his hand away. James is glad, at least, that Sirius has become calmer, but it is only when Sirius lifts his face to James’s that he speaks.
Sirius never calls him James. Never. He’s always been Prongs, to Sirius, unless he is being serious, and at this thought, James lets out a chuckle, which only confuses Sirius further. It confuses James, too. The whole situation does: the fact that the air is suddenly heated with the things they have said and the things they haven’t said; the strong desire James feels to do something with whatever is simmering in his chest and making his heart beat so fast that he can barely breathe or think straight.
Thankfully, before James can do anything, Sirius yanks him forward and kisses him roughly on the lips, temporarily relieving the tension that has been building up between both of them. But then Sirius pulls away, the mumble of an apology on his lips, even though James can feel Sirius’s need for him hard on his thigh and can see it in Sirius’s dilated pupils.
James finds his voice first. “I didn’t know you were…”
“I don’t know if I am, either,” Sirius murmurs, his breathing ragged as he kicks the door shut. “But this isn’t what you want—”
“I never said that,” James interrupts. Sirius’s jaw slackens in shock, and despite not quite knowing what to do and if he even means it, James lifts his hand to Sirius’s cheek. He wants Sirius to stay. Of course he does. “I don’t know what I want,” James tells him truthfully. Sirius’s shoulders shrink, just a little, and James can’t remember Sirius looking so naked in his whole life. “But,” James continues, “I — would like to find out.”
Sirius freezes, and James takes advantage of the moment, leans forward and kisses him. It feels strange, yes, but Sirius’s practiced lips and deft hands make what they’re doing seem like the most natural thing in the world. It should hurt, the way Sirius’s teeth are raking James’s bottom lip, his fingers curling to hold the front of James’s robes, but James feels an unusual thrill by it instead, one that ripples down his spine and causes gooseflesh to erupt on the back of his neck.
Sirius mouths James’s name into his shoulder (when had Sirius even opened his robes?); James can feel the searing heat of Sirius’s breath and what he had said seep through his skin. And then Sirius repeats it into James’ collarbone, his voice no longer a whisper, and the words bleed through every inch of James’s slowly exposed flesh until James cries out, and James knows, then, that Sirius definitely, definitely isn’t leaving.
Title: Love you forever
Candy Heart Used: Miss You
Author's Note: I hope you like it, Sophie!
They say you're gone forever, but I don't think that I'm ready to believe it. How could you be gone when I never even got the chance to say goodbye? You promised me that you'd come back as soon as the war was done, but now I've heard that I will never see your face again. I'm too shocked to even cry. I keep hoping there's been some mistake, but my heart and soul know, somewhere deep down, that it is true.
That you are gone.
I'll love you forever, and know that I miss you,
I've been crying myself to sleep for the last week. I've finally accepted the fact that you are really gone forever. It sank in finally last Tuesday, while I was making my mid-day tea, and I went to pour you a cup. I realised then that we'd never share tea again, or talk over a plate of biscuits, or any of those other things we used to do.
Do you remember our first date? I was so nervous that it would go so wrong. I had liked you for so long and I just wanted to make a good impression and convince you that I was the only girl for you.
And then I spilt butterbeer all over your clean, white shirt. And I thought you'd never look at me again. But you just laughed, put on your coat, and took my hand. You led me out into the street and we walked all around town. And when you dropped me off at the Common Room, you kissed me ever so gently, and I swore I knew you were the one at that very moment.
You're still the only one for me, and I miss you more than anything.
Dora had her baby today. He's beautiful, and is just like she is. His hair has been black, ginger, and turquoise in the last hour. He's going to be a handsome young man.
She named him after you. He is officially "Teddy Lupin". I wish you could have met him, he's so perfect.
I see you everywhere. I see you in the swaying of the trees, in the blue of the sky, in the twinkling of the stars. I walked outside yesterday, and I swear it smelled like you. I see you in Teddy, who's eyes have been exactly like yours for the last week. I think he must have some sort of feeling, because he looks at me so intensely with those eyes, and I just want to cry. Instead, I take him and hold him and feel his little heart beat in mine. Sometimes I feel like he is you reincarnated in this little body. The idea makes me laugh, for Teddy has such an attitude! Dora laughs when I say this. She says she can see the similarities too, though you were never as cheeky as he was.
I felt the sun shine on my shoulders today. It felt like your hand on my shoulder. So I looked to the sky and I saw the most beautiful bird fly across the sky, away and away onto the horizon. In that moment, I felt like it was a message. A message that I have to let you go, let you lie in peace.
So this is my goodbye. Know that I love you more than anything in this world, Ted. You were my joy and life and you consumed every part of my heart and soul. I love you more than life itself, and it hurts like hell to have to let you go.
I'll love you forever and I'll miss you always. Nothing will ever replace you. I'll look for you in the sparkle of the stars, in the whistling of the wind. Know I'll never let you go.
Title: Left Behind
Candy Heart used: Forever
Rating/warnings: 6th-7th years; sexual situations
Author's note: This was heavily cut. EEP! But I hope you enjoy, Sophie!
She is waiting for him in her flat when he returns from The Burrow, where he has just met with Dumbledore. Remus still feels a little disoriented, both from Apparition and because Dumbledore’s words are floating around in his brain: “Greyback… werewolf pack… underground…”
The moment he comes in, he is greeted by both a pleasant smell and the sight of Tonks with an apron over her usual attire of a t-shirt and jeans. “Hey, Remus,” she calls, her lips upturned in a smile that never fails to make Remus’s stomach turn over. They’ve only just got into this strange and stupid and perfect routine of playing lovers or boyfriend and girlfriend (even though that sounds ridiculously juvenile for someone in his thirties) — they shouldn’t have to give it up now, even if it is the right thing to do and Remus has known from the start that this is not going to last.
They weren’t meant to even be together. It was just meant to be one time, two friends raising a glass to someone they both were still knee deep in grief over. But one drink became two, three, four, and they went from being friends, to friends who held each other, to friends who kissed each other by accident every now and then, and finally to what they are now, whatever that is.
And now — Remus can’t help but laugh at the mere thought, let alone the sight — Tonks is cooking dinner for the two of them. “What are you cooking?” he asks, careful to keep his voice light.
“Oh, my mum gave me a recipe for pasta, so I thought I’d try it.”
“You never cook,” he can’t help but say, and she rolls her eyes.
“Even I can’t go wrong with this, Remus. Besides, I bought this Muggle timer thing so I won’t even be able to burn it. Muggles are geniuses, you know.”
Later on, they open a bottle of wine, not bothering with glasses but instead taking turns in sipping directly from the bottle and occasionally sharing a kiss. He doesn’t want this to stop. He likes it, likes her, damn it, and he knows it’s not just a passing fancy or a phase. No, he has no idea what he would do without Tonks now, and for a moment, he stops speaking and just watches her, marvelling at the changing colour of her hair. He knows it will turn a darker shade of red the more she drinks, and there is something inexplicably beautiful about her flushed cheeks and the way she matches his gaze unflinchingly that makes his breath hitch. When he kisses her, he can feel the low hum of her moan in his throat and her warmth as her legs twist and tangle with his beneath the table.
His lips still momentarily, and she asks him what’s wrong, but he shakes his head, reaching up and kissing her lips fiercely, and the force with which he does so nearly knocks her out of her chair.
“And you call me clumsy, Remus,” she murmurs, but he barely gives her time to right herself before his lips cover hers and he pulls down her jeans, his fingers slipping between lace and making her groan in the beautiful way only Dora can. His need for her nearly overwhelms him, for he realises he won’t ever be able to do this again. Remus’s agreement to go underground has reminded him who he is — he is a monster, and now he will be with other monsters, where he belongs. And he knows and has always known, deep down, that he will never belong with Dora, because she is whole, human, and no matter how much she might try to convince him that he is, too, Remus knows he isn’t.
So when, a long while later, their mouths meet in a kiss that tastes of sweat and love and liquid fire, Remus braces himself, realising what he knows he has to say.
“Dora?” he says quietly, and he can’t stop himself from stroking her hair. It darkens and lengthens at his touch until he can feel its softness on his shoulders.
“Mm?” She smiles, her eyes so rich and full of — dare he think it, let alone say it? — love that he wonders what he has done to deserve her.
Still, she looks at him expectantly, and he finally shakes his head and says, “Never mind.”
And though she raises her eyebrows questioningly, she only arches her neck a little as he kisses the hollow of her throat, and his words are lost once more in the sounds of their lovemaking.
He wakes early the next morning, pulling on his clothes hurriedly and looking around the room for anything he might have left behind. Normally, she goes to his, not the other way round, so he is fairly certain there is nothing left.
Except her, of course.
Title: By the Lakeside
Candy Heart used: Sketches
Rating/warnings: 1st/2nd Years: none
Author's note: This is extraordinarily fluffy. My apologies.
Lily Evans breathed in the clean spring air as she strolled by the lake. It was truly a glorious day, and despite having a slew of NEWTs to study for and a mountain of essays that weren’t going to write themselves, it was simply criminal to lock oneself up inside on the first nice day in months. No rain, no wind — just a fresh, mild breeze and the scent of life springing up from the earth.
Of course, she wasn’t surprised to see James Potter outside, but the lack of cronies was a rare sight. James was by himself with what looked like a notebook on his knee as he stared out across water. If she didn’t know him better, she’d have thought he was contemplating deep, interesting things; more likely, though, was the possibility that he was orchestrating some big end of the year plot to end their Hogwarts careers with a bang (either figurative or otherwise).
Deciding it might be in the best interests of everyone to scout out what he was planning, Lily squatted behind James and whispered, “What do we have here?”
Startled, James dropped his notebook and nearly pencilled himself in the eye. “Oi! Scare a bloke to death, why don’t you!”
“Just keeping you honest, Potter,” she said with a chuckle as she sat next to him in the grass. “As your co-Head, I’m compelled to keep you out of trouble if I can.” She plucked the notebook out of the dirt. “Dare I look?”
James shrugged. “You can if you want. It’s not finished, but I quite like it.”
Expecting the blueprints of the next Hogwarts disaster, Lily peeked cautiously at the page, but what was there wasn’t what she’d expected at all. It was a sketch of the Hogwarts landscape, the trees filled in with remarkable detail and even depicting small ripples in the lake. There were even individual blades of grass.
“You drew this?” Lily asked lamely, already knowing he did. “It’s lovely.” Spying a smear of dirt on the edge, she brushed it clean and handed it back to James. “You’re quite talented.”
James shook his head. “Not really. I’ve been working on this picture on and off for five years, but it never seemed quite right until I figured out what’s missing. I just want to finish it before we leave.”
“Five years? No wonder it’s so accurate. Even the shoreline of the lake is perfect!” Now utterly curious about this project, Lily prodded, “What was missing, then? Whatever it is, we should find it.”
Sighing, James said, “I would like very much to find it, but I can’t be the only one looking for it.” Pointing towards the space underneath the sprawling tree where they were at that very moment, he said, “See there? There should be two people, not just one. That guy right there is me, of course, but there should be someone next to him. The girl I love should be sitting next to me under that tree, but I’m afraid she really just isn’t interested.” Closing the notebook carefully, James stood. “Well, McGonagall’s essay needs to be written, and someone needs to keep Sirius from chasing around Snape, so I should get going. It was . . . nice to chat with you, Lily. We don’t do that outside of Head duty.”
And, for the first time in her very long memory, Lily felt like she regretted that fact. “James, wait.” She held out her hand and took the sketchbook. Tracing her finger alongside the lonesome figure, she murmured, “That was supposed to be me.”
James made a noncommittal noise. “Maybe, but I’m not going to ask you out again. I haven’t done in a year and a half, and I never will again, just like I promised. I’m done being that guy, Lily. I’m tired of hurting myself every time I do.”
There was a raw quality to his voice that stunned Lily. “I — I can’t believe how much you’ve changed. You’re not even the same person as you were six months ago, let alone the one I sort of hoped would get eaten by the Squid.” Taking his hand, she looked at him and said, “Would you consider going to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?”
Raising a brow, James asked, “Sure you want to be seen with me?”
Quirking a smile, Lily said, “I think I can manage. And by the way, as long as you don’t make my hair frizzy, I believe you stand an excellent chance of finishing the picture.”
Title: Come back, Remus
Candy Heart used: Miss you
Rating/warnings: 3rd-5th years; strong profanity, sexual innuendos
Author's note: Hope you liked it, Sophie! :D
I wish you could know that I hate you right now. You’re a selfish baboon’s backside and I never want to see your face again. I detest every fibre of your being. But I love you, so I hope you come back. But when you do, you better know that I’m going to kill you. I’ll make you suffer so badly that you’d wish you’d never been born.
I miss you, Remus. And baby misses you too.
D*** it, how could you even think that it’s your fault? Unless you have no idea how biology works, it takes two to make a baby. And as far as I know, I was there too, helping you make the baby in question, so it’s not all your fault! Stop being arrogant and taking all the credit for yourself, you self-centred man!
I know the baby’s not going to be like you. I don’t think it’s even possible, considering you weren’t even a wolf at that time (not to mention, then the baby wouldn’t even be there, because there’s no way we can “make babies” when you’re in your time of the month – wait, that came out all wrong, but you know what I mean). I’m sure he or she will be normal. He might even become a Metamorphmagus like me instead of a werewolf, and then you’ll see how wrong you were. So you better come back so that we can raise the baby properly! The last thing I want is for him or her to grow up without a parent once this war’s over.
Remus, you better come back. I can’t cook dinner by myself, it’s going to be a disaster. You know what happened the last time I tried to fry eggs. You were the one stuck cleaning the kitchen ceiling for hours, after all. And remember the time you were on order business and I had to cook dinner for us? At least come back to make dinner! And then I can tie you up to a chair and never let you go.
I miss you Remus, and I love you. Merlin, I love you so much.
And I hate you too. Because you’re a b***ard.
Please come back, Remus. I cannot raise the child by myself. Who’d going to take care of it? Who’s going to change the nappies? Who’d going to be a big and strong Daddy for him? I can’t take care of myself, let alone an infant! I’m going to end up killing the baby the day it’s born! Well, it’s not as if you care, anyway. You left the baby, after all.
I’m going to kill you.
But I miss you so much.
You wait, the day you come back will be the last day of your life. I’m going to skin you alive and feed you to the dogs. And then I’m going to cry over you because I love you so much.
Come back, Remus. I miss you.