Snape the Prat
The class is getting very rowdy. It is Potions, but still people are talking. Mainly because the professor hasn’t arrived yet though the class was supposed to be started ten minutes back.
Another two minutes and I hear the sound of footsteps. The professor finally enters the class and the room becomes quiet at once.
‘Hello, students! And how are you all this morning?’ Snape greets and smiles widely at us.
Wait. Snape and small talk. Snape and smiles. What happened to the sneers and glares?
Professor Snape now casually sits on the edge of his desk.
The class stares at him, shocked at his weird behaviour.
‘You know, I’m disappointed. I come ten minutes later and still see no jokes about but people just talking. Tsk, tsk. You all clearly need to get some lessons on pranking.’ He pauses now; a crease appears on his forehead.
Is this a joke? Has someone else used the Polyjuice Potion and changed into the Professor? Is he under the Imperius Curse?
‘Yes, we will skip Potions for today. Instead, I’ll relate to you some of the finest pranks ever carried out by me. Then maybe you all will stop being so poor spirited and I’ll be able to see some real fun.’
This speech does not result in cheers from the students. Nobody grins for not having to study Potions. Everyone’s too amazed to react.
Snape now notices the silence too. He stands up. ‘What? Why are you guys looking at me like that?’ He walks behind the desk, opens the drawer and takes out a mirror.
Snape keeps a mirror in the class room?
He looks at his reflection in it. The crooked nose, sallow skin, black eyes which are shining with mischief and greasy black hair which he...
Oh dear Merlin! Did he just ruffle his hair? Did he just put those fingers in the oily hair and try to mess it up? His hair is now... everywhere, not brushed back as usual. And looking very, well... unique could be one way to describe it. But not in a good way, of course.
‘I seem perfectly good looking,’ Snape says as he reverts his eyes from the mirror to us. ‘I bet you people are astonished to see someone as handsome as me.’
The class continues to gape at him in wonder. The professor musses his hair again and then we hear some noise.
Somebody has fallen on the floor. I walk forwards to see who it is. The professor comes too. ‘Has he fainted because of how amazing I look?’ Snape asks as he looks at the body on the floor. It is a boy.
Harry Potter has just gone unconscious.