I'm writing a Harry in sixth year fic, and Madam Hooch teaches them one chapter of a sex ed course.
Things I know about her: She's got yellow, hawk-like eyes; short, grey hair; and she teaches Quidditch to first years, and is the referee for Hogwarts matches. She also used to play on Silver Arrow brooms.
In my story, she has to discuss the topic of self stimulation. How would she do it do you imagine? At one point in my story chapter, she decides to move the class from the Great Hall, where all the sex ed classes are taught on weekends, to the Quidditch Pitch.
Ooh...two years later..;)
Madam Hooch is one of those characters that I just feel like she'd explain sex as a...sport.
"Be careful when you score."
"When the Quaffle goes through the hoop...the Chasers rush to catch it before the other team does..."
Lots of sexual inneundos. She may be a sports teacher but for sex ed, she's hilarious.
At least in my head. It's harder because I don't really know the plot.