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I always got the impression Remus was sort of pressured into marrying Tonks. I can easily see him thinking their relationship was "casual" while Tonks thought of it as much more.Quote:
Originally Posted by SlthrngNbltyWrtnINnk
Married or not, I don't think he was really thrilled when he found out he was going to have a child, though like Tim said, he probably hid it and acted happy for Tonks's sake.
This is how I see it happening:
1) He would be shocked
2) He would try to put up a smile for Tonks but I do think she will see through it because he would be pretty upset
3) He would, like others said before me, go to his room and ask himself what did he do?
I think he would be prettyyyy upset about Tonks being pregnant. I mean, we can see that from what he did in DH. He just left her and went to find Harry. It almost seemed as if he didn't even want to acknowledge the fact he was going to have a son.
xxRiham
Have to disagree with this. I sincerely doubt that Lupin would ever have done anything 'casual'. Everything we see about him screams caution. The reason he ran from Tonks at least twice (and was probably very cagey when they did begin their tentative affair/ relationship) was down to fears for her saftey and her future.Quote:
Originally Posted by Inverarity
We see constantly how he is looked at by others (even on in POA flinches when he finds out he's a werewolf)
I agree he may have felt pressured into marrying her - in fact she could have been pregnant before they married - they definately knew at the wedding that she was pregnant because he tells Harry that he would have been at GP three days earlier.
How would he react to the news. Utter fear! He knows Bellatrix is after Tonks simply because of her marriage - how she'd react to the news that her niece is carrying a 'cub' is the stuff of nightmares.
Despite all this he'd put on a brave face, tell her he's delighted (remember at the wedding she is looking radiant and has no idea of his misery - he leaves her with her mother as soon as the wedding's over.) and then make up the story about having to be with Harry.
I think it's more that he knew how much more danger he'd put her in and the child - well if it was a werewolf - and remember no one knew - he'd have even more guilt to carry round with him. It's like passing on a genetic defect to your child. He'd have to wtness his childs pain every month.Quote:
Originally Posted by Riham
Carole
xxx
I don't mean he'd have treated Tonks casually. But to him, it might have only been a physical relationship -- he never intended it to be long-term.Quote:
Originally Posted by Equinox Chick
I know, that's not so romantic, and doesn't make Remus terribly noble. But come on, he's a middle-aged guy who probably hasn't had a lot of luck with the ladies, and here's this hot young Auror practically throwing herself at him. He's only human. (Well, mostly human. ;) )
Nope,
You won't shake me from my 'noble' Remus image ;) . (for noble also read 'prat'). He simply wouldn't enter a 'physical' relationship with anyone without a great deal of thought - especially with a nubile young Auror - however tempting.
He's just too cautious and controlled. Although... the occasions when he does lose it are interesting and could be when he's at his weakest.
I highly recommend reading A Little More Time by Pallas - which gives a fantastic interpretation of their relationship (If you can't read it then listen on audiofics - quick plug). Or wait for me to finish my own story (even bigger plug)
35! Middle aged? Gah - don't remind me.
Carole
xxx
I'm agreeing with Carole on this. First, this idea is completely against Remus' character. You could write it that way, but it would be OOC for Remus. When has JKR ever written adult Remus not acting responsibly? Human or not, a person has moral standards that they live by and just because he's an older guy with a young chick interested in him does not make him turn into an insensitive lech.Quote:
Originally Posted by Inverarity
As Carole said, caution is his utter core. Sometimes, do his disservice. If he hadn't been so cautious and responsible, he would have taken up with Tonks long ago. She'd never had to literally beg for him at the end of HBP.
Second, that Remus "hasn't had a lot of luck with the ladies" is pure conjecture. He never says that, nor does JKR give us any insight into Remus' life that doesn't directly pertain to Harry's story. It's fanon to presume such about him because of how he's been characterised in fan fiction.
~Michelle
I disagree with you on two counts. First, that it would be OOC for Remus to allow himself a purely physical relationship, and second, that doing so would make him an "insensitive lech."Quote:
Originally Posted by The Marauding Cupcake
People actually can have sexual relationships that aren't intended to be long-term or leading to marriage, you know, and it doesn't mean they are being callous or uncaring.
I'm suggesting that Remus might have genuinely cared for Tonks (and been attracted to her), but that he just didn't think a long-term relationship was a possibility, or a good idea. So he could have agreed to the relationship figuring it was two people in the middle of a war finding a little solace in one another's arms -- not realizing that Tonks was completely smitten with him and wanted to have his babies.
Or, you know, he could have been an insensitive lech. ;) There isn't really anything in the books to say he couldn't have acted like that. Yeah, he was a great friend and very caring towards his students, but there's nothing about how he interacted with women, before Tonks (and what we see there, frankly, is not very positive).
It's also fanon to presume that that's not true about him, for the very reason that the books don't tell us either way. It is a conjecture, yes, but a reasonable one, IMO.Quote:
Second, that Remus "hasn't had a lot of luck with the ladies" is pure conjecture. He never says that, nor does JKR give us any insight into Remus' life that doesn't directly pertain to Harry's story. It's fanon to presume such about him because of how he's been characterised in fan fiction.
I disagree there. Remus didn't want to be with Tonks initially because of who he is. A werewolf, too old for her [so he thinks], etc, etc. And that was in the middle of the war that he was thinking all that and he still thinks that, but he goes with Dora. If he didn't love her, why would he do that? And remember how when she gets pregnant he tears himself up and thinks he's ruined her life, and all? And, how happy was he when Teddy was born? Little things say a lot.Quote:
Originally Posted by Inverarity
I get that feeling I've explained that kinda vaguely, but my point was that he wouldn't mislead Tonks - he knows she's smitten with him. That much is obvious from the hospital wing scene in HBP.
Make sense? :p
xx
First, I’d like to clarify that I do know this having the benefit of personal experience in many different types of relationships in my life. I agree (and personally see it happening) that Remus started his relationship with Tonks without the thought of marriage and/or happily ever after in the forefront of his mind. I never said he was so pious as to only bed her if they were married. I do think it would be a committed relationship, however, and those exist even if they don’t lead to marriage, you know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Inverarity
What I disagree with is your statement, “But come on, he's a middle-aged guy who probably hasn't had a lot of luck with the ladies, and here's this hot young Auror practically throwing herself at him.” You are suggesting that he is being opportunistic because he knows he can get some. So, yeah, you are painting him as callous and uncaring, or “an insensitive lech” because he’s having sex with her because he can and not because they have a caring relationship.
In regards to this statement, I’m not sure we have the same definition of a “purely physical relationship”. By your own words, there is no basis for love or affection or even fondness, because it only has to do with sex. So, yes, I’m afraid it would be OOC for Remus. That’s why I called the behaviour “out of character”; I based it on Remus’ character as presented by JKR. Remus' actions have almost always been motivated by his caring for others. (I take exception with his ignoring the treatment of Severus Snape during Snape's Worst Memory. As a Prefect, he should have done something.) For him to suddenly chuck all of that just so he could... have sex does not make any sense. Especially given the scene at the hospital at the end of HBP and all its meaning.Quote:
Originally Posted by Inverarity
I was being a little bit flippant. ;) But seriously, while I don't really think it's likely that Remus would be that casual, or that opportunistic, I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibility. A lot of people like to see Remus as almost saintly, living like a monk until Tonks came along, and frankly, we have little idea what Remus was like around other adults or what his sex life was like.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Marauding Cupcake
A purely physical relationship can be one in which two people like each other, but they're basically in it for the sex and have no desire to make it a committed, long-term thing. It's not necessarily a bad thing, provided everyone is being honest with each other. I'm suggesting that Remus might have liked Tonks, but not been in love with her or had any desire to make it long-term, and that he might have mistakenly thought Tonks understood that.Quote:
In regards to this statement, I’m not sure we have the same definition of a “purely physical relationship”. By your own words, there is no basis for love or affection or even fondness, because it only has to do with sex.
Yes, this is conjecture. I'm not saying that's necessarily how it was -- just that you cannot rule it out as "OOC" because it's not how you like to see Remus. It is consistent with how he was presented in the books. It would also be consistent for him to have been in love with Tonks and tormented over the fact that he didn't think he could marry her.
I'm saying both interpretations are plausible, as are others. Even "Remus was an opportunistic horndog."
"Remus was noble and pure and thought only of how Tonks felt and would never, ever have entered into the relationship just for the sex" is fanon.