Summary: Dumbledore is going senile, Ron's eating is out of control, and poor Hagrid... will he ever realize his true strength before he kills someone?? This starts off at the beginning of the school year and ends with a detailed account of how Harry finally defeats Lord Voldemort. I poke fun at stereotypes and clichés in fan fiction, and even joke about some things in the actual books. It’s pretty much everything – in a nutshell (or is it nuthouse?).

Summary: While shopping for Christmas gifts during their final year, Fred and George decide to visit the Muggle shopping centre, and drag new prefects Ron and Hermione along for the ride. After experiencing the fascinating world of Muggle clothing, music, and magazines, they take the lift up to the top level, a ride that leaves the Weasley brothers pale and nervous. When they return to the lift for the journey back down, Fred and George Apparate back to Diagon Alley instead, leaving Ron and Hermione to face the consequences alone when they return to the Leaky Cauldron.

This story was written for the One-Shot Challenge: Muggle Artifacts by Gmariam of Ravenclaw and received Third Place.

Summary: "Strutting around the place with his friends and admirers..." ~Professor Snape, PoA

There may be some reason behind Snape's words.

Summary: A compilation of the most commonly used Harry Potter clichés in the fandom. Features Angsty!Harry, Sweet!Draco, Head Dorms, sudden romances in the forms of Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny and of course, Draco/Hermione, because what's a cliché without them?

The Marauders also make an appearance in this fic, including Lily/Lily's best friend/Lily's other best friend.

Warning: mention of hippopotamuses inside.

Chapter Five is up! The story is done. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated this neatly tied bundle of ridiculousness in the QQ awards, I really appreciate it!

Summary: What if that song “Weasley is our King” (the Gryffindor version of course) was true? Ronald Billius Weasley is the King of Gryffindoria, and to marry the princess of Muggledon, he must rid the kingdom of Quaffles (evil monsters). Join this strange adventure with Ron and some of the gang. One-Shot of espresso :)!

Can also be seen on HPFF under Secret_Lover, who is ME...again!

Summary: It’s Harry’s last year at Hogwarts and as he has already expected – with experience in having troublesome adventures before – this year is going to be a year full of surprises. Voldemort has a plan! Chocolate frogs, ambiguous but semantic evil schemes, ominous word games, a succinct letter, incongruous French lecture, inexcusable slovenliness, birds and bees with eloquence, intolerable impatience and something goes terribly wrong… Now complete

Excerpt: Harry woke up with a start. He couldn't remember what he had dreamt about, but he knew it hadn't been a good dream - sweat made his hair cling to his forehead and his pyjamas clung to his body like a homeless person would cling on to a lamp post in a hurricane.

Summary: What happens when Dumbledore has his latest "brilliant" idea, to start an advice column, and call it 'Dear Dumby'? Letters from some of our favourite Hogwarts students, some of our not so favourite Hogwarts students, some not even Hogwarts students at all, and, of course, lots of madness!

Pre-HBP for obvious reasons!
Nominee for the Best Humour Award in the Quicksilver Quill Awards! Many thanks to all who voted for it!

Summary: The young ladies of 5th-year Potions are called out for a 'special class,' leaving the boys without their genteel influence. That calls for a special lesson.



This is a Book 5, Harry/Draco short fic that is not meant for younger or saner readers.

Summary: "What's my problem, Ginny, what's my problem? My problem is that you've oh-so-calmly suggested that my best friend has had the dubious pleasure of seeing you starkers!" - A wardrobe malfunction creates problems for one Harry Potter. [H/G, R/H]

Summary: It is argued that the most minuscule of occurrences can shape the course of history irrevocably. Butterflies flapping their wings overzealously, missing a train/forcing open the sliding doors of a train and catching it/getting your finger stuck in the sliding doors of a train as you attempt to force them open and having to run alongside it for the duration of the journey as an alternative to having it ripped off…and other such minutiae. Thus it was that, on a cold, wet night seventeen years ago, in a room above the bar at the Hog’s Head Inn, that Severus Snape made his (skid)mark. The History of the Potterverse is now at stake, and it remains for Lily Potter (with a little help from Lupin) to sort it all out. BE YE WARNED - this story contains pants. Underpants. (This story is intended as a bit of light-hearted fun and should be read as such, even if it is rather OOC!) Final chapter is up! Gather round, my children, and witness the astonishing finale!