Summary: Two students visit Madam Pomfrey with an embarrassing problem. The cure may possibly be worse than the disease.
Albus Dumbledore is a man of many secrets. One of them is his secret identity as an advice columnist, the Wise Wizard. When he coerces Snape to fill in, readers discover the Sagacious Sorcerer answering their queries would be better named Snarky Severus!
Summary: Written Pre-DH
In Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix, Moody tells Harry never to put his wand in his back pocket. Now we get to find out why he told Harry this bit of valuable info, and just what better wizard than him has lost a buttock.
Rated 3rd to 5th years just in case.
Summary: Gilderoy Lockhart is safely locked up in St. Mungo’s until he recovers from his lost memory…right? A one-shot detailing Lockhart’s one day of freedom.
Summary: For it was a jolly little Winter's night when Luna first spoke of her crazy plan to save the Ministry from dark magic and gum disease - and thus she pledged to wage a war again the Rotfang Conspiracy.
Of course, a slightly hung over Trelawney didn't anticipate being made Luna's right hand woman, but as she clutches her toothpaste tube, she hopes to what ever gods there are that she wore clean underwear that day...
Written for VV for the Turnip Story swap and full of crack!y goodness.
Summary: Nifty interview I made to our dear and beloved Dolores. Someone we will never dare forget! :D
Summary: Ron Weasley has his eye on a special girl, and Hermione Granger is determined to find out who she is. Ron receives some very personal cards for Christmas, and the girls who sent them aren't sure if they'll survive Hermione's wrath...
Summary: Ever wonder what the world of Harry Potter would be like as a soap opera? Me neither – until now, that is. Set in Harry’s 6th year, think of this as the parts of the Half Blood Prince that JKR didn’t want us to see. If you're into unconventional ships, this one's for you! Behold… As the Wizarding World Turns
Episode 9 is up!
*****Excerpt from a later chapter*****
"Haven’t you heard the rumors about her – one date Weasley.”
“One date what!?” Harry stared at Hermione dumfounded. He turned his head towards Ginny who once again started snogging Dean. Dean’s hands wandered to his girlfriend’s bum as she pulled the lower half of his body closer. “Hmm… makes sense,” he admitted.
“Anytime she brings up that sort of thing, I try to act like I have loads of experience too, but actually I have no idea what I’m talking about.”
“But what about you and Krum?” Harry asked, still visibly uncomfortable about their conversation.
“Oooh big deal. So we kissed a couple times. That means I must be a demon in the sack,” Hermione answered sarcastically. “Look, I was thinking…” Hermione started to blush. “I need to find someone I know to you know… practice with.”
Summary: When Sirius and James hex Remus with a mustache, much fun ensues, and there's revenge to be had... of course. Therapy for those who just HATE the look of MovieRemus!
Summary: According to numerous fanfics; Hermione has been a busy girl... if you know what I mean!
Summary: What do you get when your challenge is to write a mystery/humor fic that must include the following:
A Crumple-Horned Snorkack
Ron and Dumbledore as suspects
Luna sneaking into the Gryffindor common room
Luna accidentally solving the mystery
Well, you get The Investigations of Luna Lovegood. Luna has finally acquired some kind of proof to prove that the Crumple-Horned Snorkack is real...but it goes missing. Now, poor Luna must fight and put on her detective hat to...well...not really. She just stumbles across clues to help her find the missing proof. But what she does during that time, is so Luna Lovegood.
Gryffindor In-House Challenge
Summary: The Harry Potter Literary Storm has caused quite the sensation around the world, JK Rowling’s magnificent series of books touching the hearts of people of all ages. But what if Harry Potter was never written by JK Rowling in the first place? What if another genius was behind it?
Many thanks to the fantastic people who nominated this story for the Quicksilver Quills: Best Humour Fiction award. I'm truly flattered.
Chapter Seven, Part Five is now up - yes, that is the final chapter!
Summary: The Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters are locked in battle over a highly important magical artifact known to most as Voldy's Deathpants, in bold letters like that. However, they go about battle in a, er, highly unusual way-- a Quidditch match!
Probably the silliest thing that's ever appeared on this site, featuring highly OOC behaviour.
Deathpants is a team of writers consisting of Mind_Over_Matter, cmwinters, wendelin the wierd, and Schmerg_The_Impaler. Our story was written in Round Robin format. This (and our deranged minds) explains its randomness. Enjoy!
The insanity of the Deathpants has gotten to the mods! This ridiculous story WON the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Award for Best Humour Story!
Summary: Ron has always liked Hermione, but never her cat, Crookshanks. So what happens when Ron and Crookshanks accidentally switch bodies? How will Ron react when he finds out he's a cat? What mayhem will Crookshanks cause in Ron's body?
SORRY, BUT DUE TO A REALLY BAD CASE OF WRITER'S BLOCK, THIS FIC HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED.
Summary: The Death Eaters have to decide what to get Lord Voldemort for Christmas. Fun ensues.
***WINNER in the 2007 Phoenix Rising 'Mistletoe & Mayhem' Competition***
Summary: Fred and George try to make a gingerbread house. I believe the title speaks for itself.
Summary: Pygmy puffs, both sides of Fred's buttocks and music. You would think that there were more important things in Harry's life.
Be amazed as Ron, Hermione and, of course, Harry attempt to write Harry's life story with a musical touch.
Warning: Involves out of tune Neville in later chapters. Disregards Deathly Hallows.
The next few chapters are now in the process of being written as I have a sudden breakthrough for a storyline. Thank you for your patience.
Summary: Two Letters of Complaints, a plot change, one letter, a lot of complaints. There you have it my little one shot about what would happen if some great and all powerful fan fiction author were to make it's little charcters write a letter of complaints.
Summary: Sequel to “It Unscrews The Other Way”
Due to popular demand, our favourite imaginary Weasley is back, this time coming to the end of her first year at Hogwarts. She is now an established trouble-maker, but there is always that issue of grades vs. good times. With various relatives (well, her favourite uncles) telling her one thing, and other relatives (well, her mother) telling her another, anyone would be at a loss as what to do ...
Summary: The Marauders are having their first Divination lesson, and they quickly realize what a waste of time it is. In order to liven things up, Siriusmakes a few predictions without the aid of tea leaves. Obviously, he's no Seer, because there's no way James and Lily will ever get married, Peter will become an evil minion, or Remus will fall for Sirius' baby cousin... right?