Summary: It starts as a ridiculous, mostly fallacious student rumor: Filch flirting with Madam Pince in the Restricted Section. To the sex-crazed fifth years, no doubt, even the most civil conversation looks like a front for a torrid affair… not that anyone would want to imagine the dried-up librarian and the jowly grouch of a caretaker, well, doing it. Ew.
But when the rumor reaches the teachers’ lounge, closet romantics Minerva McGonagall and Charity Burbage can’t help formulating a plan. It’s about time those two got some, and they intend to make it happen. With a little help from the writings of one William Shakespeare (a very intelligent Muggle indeed) and some bribing of the castle paintings, they set out to make two people – a man in love with his cat and a woman in love with her books – fall in love with each other…
…just in time for the Yule Ball.
Summary: Lily Evans unknowingly purchases a not so normal quill. She has no idea what it does until it's too late! Watch as Lily creates a world of her own. Crazy students, hilarious situations and Professors in their underwear! Read on as the craziness continues!
Over 2000 reads!! Wohoo! Thanks everyone! (Pictures the little aliens from Pizza Planet in Toy Story) I am eternally grateful! :) I love all of your lovely reviews!
Summary: Draco Malfoy is known throughout Hogwarts for his irresistable charm and heart-stopping good looks. At least, that's what he thinks.
Follow him on his quest to find the perfect date for the Yule Ball. Will he settle for the mysterious Miss L, or will he realise that sometimes the perfect match is in front of you the whole time?
This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Quill Award 2012: Best Humour Story
Summary: Neville enjoys a quiet moment... until it all goes awry.
Summary: Ms A Cadwallader wishes to improve herself and apply for a better job. Unfortunately, despite her impeccable qualifications, she is thwarted by a certain Junior Under Secretary for the Minister of Magic, who has let it be known that basic spelling errors can never be over looked.
This story, written in the style of a series of letters, first appeared in The Battle of the Genres over at the SBBC forum.
I am not JK Rowling. She would probably have been more amusing.
This story is for Minna because it was her birthday and she likes this pairing.
Thank you Natalie for liking the drabble and encouraging me to expand.
Winner of the Best Humour QSQ in 2012 - GOBSMACKED!!!
Mary, Mary Quite Contrary Macdonald Teaches Snape the Meaning of Life by SnapeLives
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]
Summary: Mary Macdonald has certainly "changed" for the weirder. She has a couple of obsessions and trouble remembering things. Will she be able to teach Snape the meaning of life or will she just drive him crazy?
Summary: Neville Longbottom's first year at Hogwarts is shown here in letters to his formidable grandmother.
This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Award 2012: Best General Story!
Summary: Life used to be a breeze for Felix Longbottom, who considers himself the poster boy for perfection, but then his world is turned upside down when he finds himself the target of a series of misguided murder attempts. Hilarity ensues as poor Felix starts doubting his closest friends and trusting his sworn enemies in order to get to the bottom of the mystery, once and for all.
Summary: Really, must I endure the nauseating burden of owing the tinned twit a favour?
- - -
Written, hurriedly and frantically, for the Inaugural Great Hall Cotillion by Acacia Carter of Hufflepuff.
- - -
As always, the Harry Potter world and everything in it is property of JKR.
Summary: Mafalda Hopkirk is only too pleased when her transfer to the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Department come through. For one thing it means she won't have to work with the bumbling Cornelius Fudge anymore.
And for another, there's a new and rather shy clerk working alongside her.
Confiding in her diary, she tells her tale of passion and primroses.
Disclaimer: I have no idea who I am, but I'm certainly not JK Rowling.
Another entry for the Inaugral Great Hall Cotillion. Thank you Jess and Viv for such an amazing competition. Let's leave it a while for the next one, eh?
Summary: To commemorate the release of the Daniel Radcliffe vehicle, The Woman in Black, herewith is my version. Stitched together from the disjointed glimpses offered in the original trailer, this alternate treatment seeks to provide closure of a different sort to Harry’s adventures. As such it is a parody, not a cross-over.
Summary: For the past twelve years, Sybill Trelawney has lived a sheltered life cloistered in her rooms at Hogwarts. But with the arrival of Gilderoy Lockhart, her thoughts turn to love.
But the competition for his heart is fierce. Will Sybill find love with the dashing professor?
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. Neither am I a writer of Mills and Boon.
Thank you to Kara (karaley Dargen) for being a fabulous beta. More thanks to Alex (welshdevondragon) for linking me to a certain romantic story.
This is Equinox Chick from Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall Cotillion.
Harry Potter and the Naked Potions Class - The Series by Oddish
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 4]
Summary: Harry winds up in a duel with Professor Snape, and as a result, he and his yearmates are faced with the horrific trauma of a naked potions class. In addition, Fred has a "small" magical mishap, Voldemort develops a lisp, and an insufferable Hufflepuff who knows way to much about all this shows up. And that's just Part I of this twisted but hilarious series of Hogwarts comedies. Later chapters feature dirty diapers, abused Hufflepuffs, time-traveling Hogwarts founders, Gilderoy Lockhart, a sentient soccer ball, mind-altering hot chocolate, studded dog collars, and some interesting ways to misuse the Room of Requirement.
Summary: When Sirius Black has an idea, not even his friends can convince him it’s doomed to failure. Thus, when Sirius decides to throw a Christmas party in order to play matchmaker for James and Lily, nothing will deter him from his plans. However, Sirius has never actually hosted a party before and one disaster follows the next. Eventually, even Sirius has to admit that it would take a miracle in order for Lily to fall for James. Fortunately, Christmas is a time for miracles...
This is Hypatia of Gryffindor, writing for the Great Hall-iday Challenge, Operation: Mistletoe
Summary: Does Ginny have a serious rival?
Who is the most fancied bloke in the DA?
What Lunacies happen at Christmas?
This is Northumbrian of Ravenclaw House realising that this long planned story scrapes into prompt 3 (Operation Mistletoe) of the Great Hall-iday challenge, and that my story title is an even worse pun than the challenge title.
Summary: Draco has one key to Helga Hufflepuff's Three Lock Box, and Harry has another. Harry and Pansy both have a brilliant idea, and it doesn't involve teaming up to find the third because that wouldn't be as amusing.
Summary: Hermione and Ginny want revenge for a prank that Harry and Ron pulled on them, and Hermione thinks she has the perfect idea...
This story includes a dollop of love potion, a sprinkling of cheesy romantic cliches, and a generous splash of incredibly embarassing memories for Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.
Summary: It is a year after the legendary events of the Battle of Hogwarts, and Harry and Ron have discovered that life in the real world isn't half as exciting.
This leads to the rather unfortunate idea of using Polyjuice Potion to switch lives for a day, resulting in much hilarity and two very sticky situations, after which the two boys never see each other in quite the same way again.
This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Quill Award 2012: Best Humour Story
Summary: Stuck in the Manor and bored nearly out of his mind, Draco Malfoy hatches a plan of questionable legality to acquire some company.
Summary: Mark Evans, one of Dudley's many victims, is a wizard. A wizard who wants revenge for the months of suffering Dudley Dursley put him through one summer before he attended Hogwarts.
This is part of the Court Case that dealt with the apparent acts of Muggle-baiting that he committed, with statements from Mark Evans and Dudley Dursley; and from the witnesses, Petunia Dursley and Harry Potter.
Warning: includes general silliness, sickly language from Petunia Dursley, and one allusion to strong language.
This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Quill Award 2012: Best Humour