Stories

Caffeini Zabini! by MissDramatic
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Blaise wants to be a superhero. Hermione doesn't think he can do it. Will he prove her wrong, or is he just another wizard in spandex and sunglasses? Note: I wrote this a few years ago so a couple minor things may lean slightly AU, nothing plot significant though.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2508 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/02/07 Updated: 05/03/07


The Island Escape by Duck the Duck
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: Ever wondered how the Dursley's managed to get off the island after Hagrid and Harry took their boat? Read on to find out...

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2013 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/19/07 Updated: 05/01/07


Summary: It's the sequel to "The Dark Lord's Blog," guys! (And girls... and, I don't know, gender-neutral people and centaurs and walruses and parameciums and shrubs and stuff.)

Several months have passed since Filch came into possession of Voldemort's magical powers, and he has taken over Hogwarts.

With Filch serving as The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom, the position of Hogwarts caretaker/janitor is open. Seeing as Voldemort wants his magical powers back, he and his extremely attractive new sidekick, Mungo Phelps, go undercover at Hogwarts, with Mungo posing as a transfer student and Voldemort posing as the new janitor. Wacky high-jinks ensue.

Join Voldemort as he tries to get back his magic, kill Harry Potter, steal Gryffindor's sword to make a shiny new Horcrux, romance Minerva McGonagall, discover Sirius's secret to becoming a chick magnet, and swallow a teaspoon of his pride to mop up spills the Muggle way and wear an unflattering uniform! WARNING: Extremely silly and very out-of-character.

If you haven't read "The Dark Lord's Blog," well, what are you doing? GO READ IT NOW! Just click on my author name and you'll be directed to my chaotic author page, which lists all my wacky stories.

This is on hiatus, dudes. Ooh! But it was twice nominated by nice (and insane) people for the Best Humour Fic award in the Quicksilver Quills thingy!

Also, some wonderful loony nominated Mungo Phelps for Best Male OC, making him if possible even more conceited! (No one had the heart to tell Mungo that he was designed as an example of a terrible OC.)


EXCITING NEWS! "The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor" is now continued as a Twitter blog! Go to Twitter dot com and find thedarklord666. Voldy's waiting!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4020 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
03/25/07 Updated: 04/30/07


The Young and the Wizardly by Moon110581
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 189]

Summary: Join in the twisted fun and scandal with this Harry Potter Soap Opera!. ***Thank You to My Wonderful Helper, Black Ink!***

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Slash

Word count: 22906 Chapters: 11 Completed: No
Published:
06/04/05 Updated: 04/30/07


Voldy Therapy by PadfootBaby
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 30]

Summary: A psychiatrist unexpectedly shows up on Voldemort’s doorstep one day and claims to be his therapist. A series of frightening and quite disturbing subjects are soon covered, including sunbathing, treacherous followers, unicorns, names, the hippie era, evil bunny rabbits, and hair. After each session, work becomes increasingly frustrating for Voldemort, until he realizes that the therapy has taken away his love for killing things. He angrily attempts to return to the life he used to have, but torturing Harry Potter and his dorky little friends doesn’t seem quite as fun as it used to...
Culminates in the final... er... battle? between Lord Voldemort and Harry.
Nominated for the 2007 Quicksilver Quills! R&R - and have fun!!!


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4725 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
02/20/07 Updated: 04/30/07


Summary: Ginny does not know how to get Harry back to her. She has fancied him for a long time and at last, when he became hers, they have been separated once again due to Harry’s fear of losing Ginny if they remain together. However, Ginny comes up with one desperate solution to get Harry back. She decides to make herself more beautiful. In the end, however, Ginny wishes for something different from what she wants.



Written for the What You Wish For challenge by Ginny Weasley Potter from Hufflepuff.



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2431 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/27/07 Updated: 04/27/07


Summary:

Featuring...

Moony, the Academics Specialist

Padfoot, the Relationship Consultant

Prongs, the Sports Guide

and

Wormtail, the Hobbies Consultant

Join Ron, Hermione and Harry as they are advised by the Marauders. Wondering how? Read on, then.



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3162 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
12/22/06 Updated: 04/21/07


Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules by joybelle423
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 94]

Summary: The Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch teams are trapped in the locker room due to a sudden hail storm, and they both want the pitch when the rain lets up. What do they do to determine who gets it? Play Truth or Dare, of course!

Written for FenrirG for the Ravenclaw Spring Exchange 2007.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4236 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/16/07 Updated: 04/21/07


Summary: Fifth in the Janey Weasley series – and this time we hear from Janey’s middle child, Tillie.
She is eleven years old. Her sister, Day, is fifteen, and she also has a seven-year-old brother called Nicky. Due to leave for Hogwarts at the end of the summer, Tillie is utterly perplexed. She can’t imagine life without her sweet, innocent (it seems) little brother to look after, or her carefree, happy mother to look up to. But as the inevitable grows closer, Tillie will soon have to accept that time will wait for no one ... Note: Don’t worry, I haven’t cheated you out of Janey’s wedding – all will be revealed!


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 6199 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/28/07 Updated: 04/06/07


Easier Said Than Done by SpikyBlackQuill
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 61]

Summary:

It started as a rant: I was tired of the re-occurance of cliches in fan-fictions. But then realization dawned on me: Was it possible to write a story entirely in figures of speech?





Combine a new author, a book of cliches, and hours to kill. The result is comical blend of Easter Bunnies, out-of-character moments, and sixty-seven cliches.





One-shot


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 965 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/22/07 Updated: 03/23/07


Summary: Ron Weasley is getting married to Hermione Granger, so he travels back to the Burrow to tell his parents. But his father has a type of… box in the room, and Ron ventures over to find out what in Merlin’s name it actually is.

Mr. Weasley explains about the “enternet”, and Ron stumbles upon a website that we are all too familiar with…


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1500 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/12/07 Updated: 03/22/07


Summary: I do believe many of you have been curious to know as to how my nose came to be quite so crooked. What an odd thing to wonder, I tell you, but none the less, I will comply. It is quite an entertaining tale to say the least, occurring on two different occasions during my younger days. I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, write this in my own hand, to satisfy all those who need to practice quenching their curiosities for more appropriate matters.











Eowyn89



Hufflepuff House



March One-Shot Challenge--Albus Dumbledore--Prompt 1

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, None

Word count: 2372 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/14/07 Updated: 03/15/07


Being Janey Weasley by Pussycat123
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 53]

Summary: Fourth in the Janey Weasley series – oh no, it’s not over yet!

I’m Janey Weasley, and this little one shot is from MY perspective – lucky you! I’m nearing my twenty-first birthday, and there’s lots going on. Job interviews, family gatherings, along with lots of other matters of interest. Read on, and you’ll find out exactly what’s been going on since the last look in you got on my life! It’ll be amusing for you, I’m sure – it always is when you’ve a loopy family, barmy friends and boyfriend and ... well, mostly just the bit about having a loopy family. Welcome to my world!



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 3630 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/08/07 Updated: 03/14/07


Order of Merlin - First Class by Melindaleo
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 43]

Summary: The Ministry of Magic is holding a Valentine's Day gala to honor the man who delivered them from the evil that had been darkening their lives. Unfortunately, the young hero has no desire to make an acceptance speech. Can his friends help get him in the right frame of mind? They can if their names are Fred and George Weasley.
*Originally written for the PS Valentine's Day challenge.


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3771 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/10/07 Updated: 03/10/07


Barmy With Love by FenrirG
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 18]

Summary: Love comes in all shapes and sizes... doesn’t it?

Luna Lovegood has always believed in things that others don’t. And we’re not just talking about Crumple-horned Snorkacks and the Rotfang Conspiracy--Luna believes in things like House Elf equality and love on first sight.

As soon as he meets her, Barmy the house elf knows that she is different. She sees him as a fellow, an equal. But will she ever see him as more?

In this romantic comedy (featuring Luna Lovegood and a very original character, readers will learn a whole host of answers they've all been dying to find out. Just how weird is Luna Lovegood? Does the Crumple-horned Snorkack really exist? And, most importantly, what is with with those raddish earrings?



Chapter 2, Two Radishes and a Pear, is up!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2192 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
02/07/07 Updated: 03/06/07


Minding Harry by Starmom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 35]

Summary: James has asked Sirius to look after baby Harry for a few hours. This might not have been a good idea.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1409 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/25/07 Updated: 03/01/07


Brotherly Business by Caliente
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: Twin-centric one-shot set during Book 5, after the duo left Hogwarts. Fred is being a twit. George is tired of it. They beat on each other. And a good time is had by all. Mentions of various other Weasleys, Hogwarts students and mild references to Fred/Angelina, George/Alicia and Angelina/Roger. R&R plz!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1888 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/25/07 Updated: 03/01/07


Trees But Not Forests by Pussycat123
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 79]

Summary: One hot summers day, all is unusually peaceful for the Marauders, as they laze about in the Grounds. Of course, they can’t possibly stand for that sort of thing, so James decides to begin a word game with his friends that ends up with Lily being kissed, Sirius running for his life, and Dumbledore remembering his youthful days ... it could only happen to the Marauders!

Now available as AudioFiction Episode #100!


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 1641 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/21/07 Updated: 02/28/07


Everybody Loves Janey Weasley by Pussycat123
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 51]

Summary: Third one-shot in the Janey Weasley series.

We skip ahead to her fifth year, although this particular saga is told through the eyes of ordinary, Quidditch Captain, Hufflepuff boy, Frankie, as he realises that even though everybody loves Janey Weasley ... he might just love her a little bit more. What’s a young, Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain to do? Ask the people close to her for advice? Ask his team mates for advice? Do something bold and daring for the first time in his life? ALL of the above? I guess you’ll have to read and find out, won’t you?



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 3928 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/13/07 Updated: 02/21/07


Oh Baby! by Spenser Hemmingway
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary: Brave, resourceful and with a great soundtrack, Harry Potter has faced countless challenges over time. Dozens of Death Eaters…bring them on. Angry ogres…nothing could be easier. Voldemort even…he was simple. Then Harry meets a real challenge. Now if he can only find the instruction manual…

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 7377 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/13/07 Updated: 02/21/07


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