HEY! Hey you! Psssstttt! You have to help us!
It’s Tim the Enchanter, our fanfiction writer – HE’S GONE MAD! We’re just trying to live normal lives at Hogwarts, but CRAZY things keep happening to us because he’s bored!
Please! Read our story and hear our plight! We need to bludgeon some sanity into our author – Oh no! HE’S AT HIS COMPUTER NOW!
NO! NOOO-aaahhhh! Must resist! Resist… Gibber narg turnip turnip wibble antidisestablishmentarianism blubber gibber wop wop bbluubbaaarrrggghhh!
Nominated for QSQ 2009, Best Humour.
Summary: For all of you who don’t remember, Bob Ogden was the guy who Dumbledore got a memory from in book 6 about the Gaunts (see chapter 10 of Half-Blood Prince). I was rereading the 6th book, and I thought it would be fun to write a story of Ogden’s many unfortunate experiences during his job in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Read his humorous diary and see for yourself all the frustrating people he’s forced to deal with on a daily basis.
Disclaimer: All my credit to J.K. Rowling, whose characters and world I borrowed for this story. Janis, however, is a character of mine. And Icklebob and Jugdy are not real, either (except in this story).
Summary: This is a generation where a Potter, a Weasley, and a Malfoy can be friends. This is a generation of change. Read about the Next Generation at Hogwarts: Potters, Weasleys, Woods, Malfoys, Longbottoms, etc. Their loves, friends, and experiences.
Summary: What happens when Luna challenges her friends to a game of Truth or Dare?
Summary: History of Magic class can actually be interesting if you just mishear Professor Binns!
Summary: Draco somehow managed to get his very own advice column in Hogwarts' school paper, where he gives his sage opinion to those who dare to ask for it. Feel free to write in for advice about love, life, school, family, anything you can think of! But remember... with Draco, you tend not to get the answer you expected!
Summary: What happens when you mix the Chinese military, Magizoologists, militant animal rights activists, Tibetan nationalists, wizarding bureaucrats, and a mad escaped yeti (besides chaos)?
You yell yourself yellow of course! Whatever that means…
But seriously, this is the alternately sober and stupid story of a yeti’s bid for freedom and the madness that ensues. Rated 6-7th Years for substance abuse (Magic Pixie Dust, anyone?), colourful swearing in four different languages (English, German, Spanish, and Mandarin!), and MAD YETI VIOLENCE!
He was tired of living in the same world as Harry-Bloody-Potter, and yet was not so obliging as to leave it by dying.
Summary: Sirius, the expert on getting ladies, gives baby Harry a chat on how to be a proper gentleman. Harry, however, has other ideas.
Living In The Weasley-Springs Family ... Merlin Help Me by Pussycat123
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 14]
Summary: Day Don’t-Ever-Ever-Ever-Call-Me-Daisy-Or-I’ll-Break-Your-Fingers Springs isn’t exactly a chip of Janey Weasley’s block. Instead of Hogwarts’ most notorious trickster, she’s more like Hogwarts’ most feared and esteemed ice queen. Well, that’s how she’s seen, anyway, and let’s face it; she doesn’t do much to change that image. But is she really as cruel and hard as she acts? Or is she, like every other moody teenager claims, wholly misunderstood? Well, now’s your chance to find out, in the sixth and final chapter of the Janey Weasley series. You thought it was all over? So did I, but then here it is, so have fun! After all, aren’t you just dying to find out what happens when someone is finally brave enough to do something that ... well, that might just annoy our ice queen a little bit?
Summary: Find out what happens when you mix one dark-haired Slytherin poet, a reluctant James Potter and a bored Sirius Black left too long to his own devices.
Summary: A boring day is turned into an interesting adventure when Fred and George lead their siblings in a play about their very interesting neighbor.
Summary: The war against Voldemort is not going well. The Ministry of Magic has fallen and the Order of the Phoenix is scattered. Harry Potter and his friends are ruthlessly hunted by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. There is no end in sight for our heroes…
BUT SUDDENLY, OUT OF THE DARKNESS, ABSURDITY INTERVENES!
Nominated for QSQ 2008 Best Humour Story!
Summary: Fred and George Weasley get an idea for a prank from doing something they thought they would never do—their Potions homework. Follow them on their journey through pranker’s block, powdered bicorn horn, Muggle food coloring, a random fish, a suction cup, Harry with a toothpick, a very dry avocado, and much too much flour. What happens when this seemingly innocent prank turns wacky? One-shot.
Summary: After losing a bet, Professor Severus Snape is forced to accompany Professor Filius Flitwick on a speed-dating event. Will he manage to survive the witless witches and the maddening MC? Or will he leaved with more than he bargained for?
Summary: In the dead of the night, someone steals Harry's Marauder's Map.
Insanity, hilarity and catastrophe, of course! (This wouldn't be a humour story if it didn't, would it?)
As different people try to activate the Marauder's Map, the four infamous Marauders answer back, in their own wonderful style.
Summary: The Bachelorette, the reality show that has swept the universe, has finally arrived at Hogwarts! Hermione Granger has been chosen as the contestent who will search through a herd of male contenders to find her one true love. But what will ensue on her extremely dangerous journey where Hogwarts seems to have been flipped upside down?
Our lovely commentaters, Granny and her whiney granddaughter, Darla, will critique their way through this highly anticipated reality television series and pick their favorites out of the charming, scary, simple, complex, and hilarious men who are vying to win Hermione's heart
Summary: Peter Pettigrew has an idea to improve Severus Snape's chances with the girls from 'nonexistent' to 'possible' and solve a long standing problem at the same time. Will it work? Marauders' Era, one shot.
Summary: The Sorting Hat is confused. Gryffindor or Ravenclaw? Then, a certain Sirius Black unknowingly comes to help - the only time he would ever do something useful for the school.
Summary: Oft-ridiculed Neville Longbottom jumps at a chance to fit in with his fellow Gryffindors, a chance that requires a dangerous trek through Hogwarts in the buff. WINNER OF THE 2009 QUICKSILVER QUILL AWARD FOR BEST HUMOR STORY.